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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH is going to find out about my CC debt isn’t he.

505 replies

Blueskyfordays · 14/07/2023 19:38

PLEASE, PLEASE not a pile on.

I have £4K of CC debt, tbh I have no idea how I’ve even accumulated it over the years but here we are. Minimum payments are £150 a month, I pay off £200-£250 a month but it has a fairly high interest rate (about £80 a month interest charges) husband doesn’t know, we have separate bank accounts with my wages going into mine and his going into his. I just transfer him money for mortgage and bills.

I have never been on our mortgage, mainly because DH can easily afford the mortgage himself and this house was his before we married. We married a couple of years ago.

Mortgage now up for renewal, he said a couple of months ago he wanted to put me on the mortgage. I didn’t say anything, hoping he’d forget/ change his mind.

This morning, the new provider that he’s gone to a quote for rang him and he said he wanted to put his wife on the mortgage too and I had to give some details, name, DOB, job title, current salary etc.

Between us we earn £98k and we would be looking to take out a mortgage of £240,000.

The man on the phone thanked him for the details and said someone will be in touch.

Will they ask/ tell him about the debt? 😭😭 I know people will say I should have told him/ should tell him but I pay it every month, I’ve never missed a payment, it comes out of my wage and if I was spending £200 a month on clothes and shoes (I don’t!) I wouldn’t tell him, so long as I could afford it.

I was just hoping to get it all paid off in the next 2-3 years with him being none the wiser 😞

OP posts:
Tinyplant · 14/07/2023 19:43

When you apply for the DIP you will have to declare monthly outgoings such as credit card payments. So I imagine he would find out at that stage.

They won’t find out your finances at the quote stage (I imagine). But you can’t lie on the actual application.

You should tell him now.

questionforteachersks1 · 14/07/2023 19:43

Not what you asked but is there no way of transferring to a 0% deal? £80 a month in fees is huge.

We currently have £6000 on a 0% card, I don’t feel that’s too bad tbh.

Tinyplant · 14/07/2023 19:44

That being said, I expect the provider (as well as salary etc) would have asked if his wife had any regular monthly outgoings, and your husband answered no. So they quote they give you will not be accurate and a waste of time.

LookingForFreeDoughnuts · 14/07/2023 19:46

You'll have to tell him. Are you worried about his reaction?

BounceyB · 14/07/2023 19:46

Sorry, but you have to tell him. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot.

Issuefroth · 14/07/2023 19:47

Check on Experian or similar what your credit score is, unless it’s below “Good” you shouldn’t have a problem and therefore no forced disclosure.
When the time is right just explain like you did here that the debt accumulated but you’re paying it off.

Ponderingwindow · 14/07/2023 19:48

If you were comfortably spending 200 a month you wouldn’t tell him, but debt is different. Debt exposes him to liability. You need to tell him.

NoSquirrels · 14/07/2023 19:48

Between us we earn £98k

What do you earn, OP?
In the scheme of things on a combined household income of £98K, your £4K debt is peanuts. You should apply for a 0% balance transfer. Paying £80 a month in interest is crazy.

If you wouldn’t get accepted for a 0% balance transfer card then there’s likely to be more issues with your credit rating (& therefore the mortgage application) so …

Original poster
Blueskyfordays · 14/07/2023 19:48

No, I was there, the provider was on speaker phone. He didn’t ask that.

I’m going to have to tell him I don’t want to be on the mortgage. I don’t know what the hell im going to say to get out of it. He said the only reason he’s putting me on the mortgage is if he dies, they can’t just kick me out of the house. The last time it was up for renewal I had to sign a form to state I had no claim over the house. He didn’t want me to have to sign another one of those.

I said can he not just put me on the deeds but not the mortgage as k don’t have a good credit rating and be siad ‘well if your credit rating is an issue we just won’t go ahead with you on the mortgage but it’s a lot easier and less faff than trying to get you on the deeds’

He’s so controlling with money and debt is the worst thing in the world to him so I really, really don’t want him to find out.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 14/07/2023 19:49

You sound scared of him.

headcheffer · 14/07/2023 19:50

It's actually more paperwork to get you on the mortgage. I suspect he already knows about the debt OP, and is trying to coax it out of you.

Original poster
Blueskyfordays · 14/07/2023 19:51

NoSquirrels · 14/07/2023 19:49

You sound scared of him.

I’m scared he’ll leave me or kick me out. We have a 1 year old DC, they’re my life 😞

OP posts:
YaWeeFurryBastard · 14/07/2023 19:51

Issuefroth · 14/07/2023 19:47

Check on Experian or similar what your credit score is, unless it’s below “Good” you shouldn’t have a problem and therefore no forced disclosure.
When the time is right just explain like you did here that the debt accumulated but you’re paying it off.

Wtf are you on about? Mortgage affordability checks are mandatory and therefore disclosing existing credit commitments is mandatory. So yes there will be forced disclosure.

SO annoying and potentially very damaging when people give completely incorrect advice on the internet. Please think before you post.

Motnight · 14/07/2023 19:51

He sounds as though he is putting your financial interests first Op with regards to wanting you on the mortgage. How is he financially controlling?

Jarstastic · 14/07/2023 19:51

Given your joint earnings, your card shouldn't impact your ability to borrow.

If you really don't want him to know, is there any way you can settle the money? An ISA or fund you can cash in?

Note it could take up to a month for the credit reference agencies to reflect the lower balance. If you've paid it off, you don't need to declare it as a regular monthly outgoing. You should then change the direct debit on the card to full payment.

Although the mortgage provider may want 3 months bank statements. If you can settle the big balance on the card away from your main bank account, all that will show will be what you've paid monthly which could just be your monthly bits and pieces spending.

RoyKentsTieDyeTop · 14/07/2023 19:51

You knees to immediately get a 0% credit card, that will halve the repayment period. Paying that much interest is bonkers.

As for the rest, you have bigger problems than the mortgage if you can’t tell him you have a tiny credit card debt. This is no way to live and your debt is peanuts.

Jongleterre · 14/07/2023 19:52

If I was your husband I would be more annoyed at you paying the extortionate interest!

www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/persistent-debt-help/#balancetransfer

KeyWorker · 14/07/2023 19:52

It’s hardly a huge amount of money in the grand scheme of your joint income. Just be honest with him. Do you have joint savings that you can pay off the whole balance with?

Stopthetest · 14/07/2023 19:52

Do you have DC? Why are you getting into debt? Is he fiscally abusing you OP? Relative to income your debt is tiny. Have you looked into a balance transfer? You're married, you should have a claim to the house!

Stopthetest · 14/07/2023 19:53

*financially

YaWeeFurryBastard · 14/07/2023 19:53

I said can he not just put me on the deeds but not the mortgage as k don’t have a good credit rating and be siad ‘well if your credit rating is an issue we just won’t go ahead with you on the mortgage but it’s a lot easier and less faff than trying to get you on the deeds’

Not possible on either account. Most mortgage providers will insist you are either on both or neither.

RoyKentsTieDyeTop · 14/07/2023 19:53

Also it is the easiest thing in the world for him to see your credit file, all he needs is basic details. So he probably already knows.

Jarstastic · 14/07/2023 19:54

It's really hard to be on the deeds and not the mortgage. Very few lenders will allow it as someone not named on the mortgage will have a claim not the house and maybe kick their rights down the order.

NoSquirrels · 14/07/2023 19:54

Blueskyfordays · 14/07/2023 19:51

I’m scared he’ll leave me or kick me out. We have a 1 year old DC, they’re my life 😞

Show quote history

You’re married with a joint income of £98K.

What do you earn? What does he earn? Do you pay equally for joint expenses regardless of who earns what? Do you have the same disposable income as him? Or does he have lots of savings?

He can pay off your credit card. Something is not right if you are this scared of his reaction over £4,000.

PonyPatter44 · 14/07/2023 19:56

You are married. If your DH gets run over by a bus, or spontaneously combusts, or is hit by a falling toilet seat from the ISS, you will not be chucked out of the house and neither will your child.