DH is going to find out about my CC debt isn’t he.

[Blueskyfordays]

PLEASE, PLEASE not a pile on.

I have £4K of CC debt, tbh I have no idea how I’ve even accumulated it over the years but here we are. Minimum payments are £150 a month, I pay off £200-£250 a month but it has a fairly high interest rate (about £80 a month interest charges) husband doesn’t know, we have separate bank accounts with my wages going into mine and his going into his. I just transfer him money for mortgage and bills.

I have never been on our mortgage, mainly because DH can easily afford the mortgage himself and this house was his before we married. We married a couple of years ago.

Mortgage now up for renewal, he said a couple of months ago he wanted to put me on the mortgage. I didn’t say anything, hoping he’d forget/ change his mind.

This morning, the new provider that he’s gone to a quote for rang him and he said he wanted to put his wife on the mortgage too and I had to give some details, name, DOB, job title, current salary etc.

Between us we earn £98k and we would be looking to take out a mortgage of £240,000.

The man on the phone thanked him for the details and said someone will be in touch.

Will they ask/ tell him about the debt? 😭😭 I know people will say I should have told him/ should tell him but I pay it every month, I’ve never missed a payment, it comes out of my wage and if I was spending £200 a month on clothes and shoes (I don’t!) I wouldn’t tell him, so long as I could afford it.

I was just hoping to get it all paid off in the next 2-3 years with him being none the wiser 😞

Contact CAP (Christians Against Poverty). You don't need to be a Christian or go to church. They give advice and help to anyone.

Don't you have life insurance to at least pay off the mortgage if one of you dies? You really need this, especially with a 1yr old.

I've been the partner presented with the hidden debt. It is fucking annoying to find out you were being lied to about finances - in marriage savings are joint, debt is joint and it's not fair to keep one side in the dark.

Anyway, it's not the end of the world, just tell him, get it paid off and start fresh.

(And yes, also make sure you're only contributing to expenses in proportion to your incomings.)

OP fears a disproportionate reaction from her DH if he learns about this debt. I'm working on the basis that she has a reason for that fear, beyond more than just knowing that he dislikes borrowing, and that's concerning.

For that matter, he's earning triple what OP does and has over a year's salary saved that OP at least perceives as his money not their money. That's not a problem exactly but it's hardly an equitable way to handle finances as a couple.

Personally I wouldnt go on the mortgage without going on the deeds as paying a contribution to the mortgage doesn't necessarily mean you get to keep the whole properly anyway if he dies. The easiest way to ensure that if that is what he wants is for you to be on the deeds.

But also for me lying is huge. Its worse to me if I'm lied to than if a person cheats or gets into debt or anything really as its the trust element. My husband didn't tell me about debt and I found out with a mortgage renewal. But at least he told me. Yes, because he had to. But if he had been confronted with the chance and didn't tell me even then, then I found out... I wouldn't be married.

What I’d do in your scenario, OP:

Apply for the 95% approved 0% card.

• if it gives you a high enough limit, transfer the £4,000. Divide the length of the 0% months by your balance: 4,120 / 28 = £147 a month. Set up a direct debit for £150 a month. Done.
• if you get a lower limit, transfer what you can, set the direct debt payment £1 above the minimum payment amount, then use the rest of your £250 a month to pay the smaller balance left on your current c/c

Let your DH apply for the mortgage. If you have to declare any credit/debt outstanding, tell him then and say it’s on a long-term 0%.

Personally I wouldnt go on the mortgage without going on the deeds as paying a contribution to the mortgage doesn't necessarily mean you get to keep the whole properly anyway if he dies. The easiest way to ensure that if that is what he wants is for you to be on the deeds.

But also for me lying is huge. Its worse to me if I'm lied to than if a person cheats or gets into debt or anything really as its the trust element. My husband didn't tell me about debt and I found out with a mortgage renewal. But at least he told me. Yes, because he had to. But if he had been confronted with the chance and didn't tell me even then, then I found out... I wouldn't be married.

I swear to god, I’d I could just clear this bloody debt I’d never touch a CC or any type of debt again and I do truly mean that

Trouble is, if he asks to see the records when he finds out, he'll see that your mum gave you a huge gift towards paying it off and still you added more to the debt

You're married and the obvious thing is to face this together, but getting past the above could be a difficulty
Best, perhaps, to ask him to help you with the problem rather than just the sum involved?

OP I very much feel you should be open about it and you will feel better for it. Sounds like a burden you’re carrying around.

If your husband is against debt he will surely want to pay at least some of it off from your significant savings since you’re wasting hundreds every year paying high interest.

But since you are making a bit more than minimum payment each month on time presumably I’m not sure if you will have bad credit as such?

It shouldn't affect the mortgage application, they'll just factor monthly payments into the monthly budget for affordability but sounds like that's got leeway anyway. He's trying to add you to the mortgage and therefore you'll jointly own the property so that's a good thing!

@Newmumatlast going on the mortgage and going on the deeds goes hand in hand, you can't have one without the other.

What would be a proportionate response, in your view?

She is worried he would see this as a deal-breaker. But for some people, finding out they've been lied to repeatedly would be a deal-breaker, wouldn't it?

I don't think you can fairly blame the DH for a lack of equality in their finances when the OP has told us that he has no idea she has debts. Her first responses (sorry, OP, to talk about you in the third person!) have all been concentrating on how to hide the debts. I understand that: she's really embarrassed. But, it does indicate that she has never been in a position during their relationship, where she felt able to be financially open and to share things. The DH cannot share finances equally if he has no real idea of how much she owes.

While I agree with most of your post, debt is not joint just because they are married..

Gosh, £4000 is not a massive debt with that household income at all. I'm more worried about your fear about your husband's reaction. Would he really kick you out of the house for £4,000 of credit card debt that could be easily repaid? Or is it more likely you have played out his reaction in your head so many times that you've lost sight of what would be proportionate?

Debt isn't good, obviously, but it's not a big debt and you have ample household resources to pay it. You have a 1yo DC, how was mat leave funded? Did you find yourself short and not want to ask for money?

You are a team, you and your husband. You've made a mistake, it's not a big mistake, and between you it's easily solved. That's what marriage is about.

It wasn't clear, but I meant in a "we're in this together" way, hence me not saying "you're on your own mate" at the "surprise" £5k storecard racking up the most eyewatering charges.

Fair enough. Was just saying as I see this being said a lot, along with addresses being blacklisted etc... just wanted to clarify :)

What proportion of the bills do you pay? As you earn about a third of what he earns, I'd hope you don't cover half!

Tell him. You should be able to tell him, and talk about it rationally. If you can't, there's no future in the relationship.

Blueskyfordays
when in a hole, stop digging. Come clean.

If you can't be honest with each other then you haven't got a marriage.

Just speak to your husband and be honest. If it ends your marriage then that's how it is, but at least you were then honest.

Are you afraid that if he kicked you out, that he would take custody of your joint child, or prevent you seeing your child? Tell us more about that. Why do you think that would happen?

He said the only reason he’s putting me on the mortgage is if he dies, they can’t just kick me out of the house.

He needs life insurance that pays the remaining mortgage if he dies, and to leave the house to you in his will. Although as his wife you would inherit it anyway.

Do not go for the 6 month zero % credit card. The rate after 6 months is astronomical.

Honestly never considered debt was such a big issue. For various reasons I have about 10k but our household income in just over 100k and we’re in the childcare crazy expensive years. I earn slightly more and can service it easily, mostly for family stuff but some personal. Have briefly alluded to it to DH but I mainly deal with finances so didn’t consider it a massive deal. If we absolutely had to pay it off fast could probably do it within a year or frugal living. I couldn’t get worked up over 4k but it seems like you’re a bit scared of the reaction?

This only SHOWS you your credit score!

Sign up to the 0% 95% approved card. Right now. You wont be able to transfer the debt today. Only once your card arrives.
Then youll "pay" 3%, which will be added to your debt, you wont have to pay anything out of pocket right now.
And then set up a DD for more than the minimum, to clear it quickly!

It will be disclosed yes but unlikely to cause any issues, they are borrowing a small amount compared to salary and if the credit rating is good I don’t think it will have any impact on borrowing ability.

My broker doesn’t bother asking about credit cards so we never go into it over the phone he just checks Experian files when putting in our applications so he discloses the full info to the bank. I have a similar amount on a credit card and it has never caused an issue with applications