A stranger grabbed my babies hand and I didn’t react

[Jacketpotatogirl]

I had an awkward encounter yesterday that has never happened to me before and I do not think I reacted correctly.

I’m a first time mum to a 2 month old and I have anxiety which is probably why I didn’t say anything. A stranger (mid 40’s) came up to me and my DS in a coffee shop whilst I was with my friend yesterday and grabbed his hand out of no where, I didn’t even see her before she did it and she didn’t even start talking to me first. She then continued to tell me how gorgeous DS was. But kept putting her hands all over him and up his arms. I froze because it made me feel uncomfortable but I didn’t say anything as I do not know what I should of done in this situation.

What would you have done? Because DH told me I should have told her to not touch him and now I wish I spoke up but didn’t want to sound like I’m over reacting. It made me feel really uncomfortable, is this normal? What would you do?

I wouldn't have done anything as people touching my baby didn't bother me. However if it had, I'd have smiled and said "thanks, he is gorgeous, but please don't touch him".

Ive had a NICU baby. It was up to me to manage my anxiety when she came out.
And I was so glad to have her out in the world, people stopping me in the street to coo over her made me realise how lucky i was.
A NICU baby doesnt mean you have to isolate afterwards.

Despite the thread title saying 'babies' (though it should have been baby's), I assumed this was a child dandering alongside, not an actual baby. That would have been very concerning. But a baby? Is lockdown back? Are we back to this? People used to coo over my own child in the pram at that age. I thought nothing of it.

@InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream its really not an over reaction to teach children from a young age that they are in charge of themselves. Fwiw my kid loves interacting with others and invites touch. I have zero problem with it when people ask. If he shows me that he’s uncomfortable in any way, which, even young as he is he absolutely can by the way, I ask them to stop. It’s not hard. And no, I’m not “one of those”. But if someone wanted to do that I wouldn’t laugh at them either, because I’m not a twat

I think this was such a sad post.
And wtf is a rainbow baby?

When DS was a baby someone handed him a pound coin when we were on the bus, watched him put it in his mouth, and didn't say anything. He could have choked. I had only looked away for a few seconds.
Strangers shouldn't touch your baby. Its not that you think they have ill intent, but its impossible to tell stupid, dangerous and well meaning people apart until its too late.

it's a term used by some people for a baby who's been born after the mother has previously experienced miscarriage, stillbirth etc.

Give it a few months baby will be eating dirt off the floor and licking windows. Get a grip

Sorry people are being so rude to you OP. No bloody need for it especially when you're 2 months postpartum. You'd think the posters who have kids would also have some compassion for new mums but apparently not

I was the same with my first, even worse in fact as he was a covid baby. He was never ill with anything worse than a cold until he started nursery at 2 so prepare yourself for that! In the meantime, antidepressants can dull the anxiety a bit.

If you're planning on having another, the anxiety around cleanliness does fade a little. Especially when the older child is stuffing grubby toys/half chewed food in baby's mouth... 🤦‍♀️

God the responses on here are sad. OP ignore the small minded people who can’t see that touching someone else’s baby without permission is wrong. They are probably the type of people to walk all over other people’s boundaries. So much for a site for mums to support mums with the nastiness here! Regardless of germs etc if she doesn’t want her baby touched then you don’t bloody touch it.. what’s so hard to get about that?

This post is nothing to do with teaching children bodily autonomy, which I agree with. This is about touching a baby's hand, don't be so dramatic . Honestly .

Having read that your baby was unwell and potentially had sepsis, can I ask did your baby have group b strep at birth? This is the main cause of sepsis in neonates but does not always progress to sepsis (pneumoniaor meningitis). It's transferable by skin to skin contact and your baby can pick it up off anyone. They're most susceptible until 3 months old. Personally, I'd have slapped the womans arm away. I dont understand why it's acceptable to touch a baby, but not anyone else.

You would really have slapped an old lady who was just being nice? Dear God.

Its not nice to grab a baby. Go and try it with a mother bear.

😂This thread is mental.

You put sanitiser on your baby??? What the actual living fuck?

Maybe it’s because I grew up in a small town, idk, but it’s perfectly normal ime for strangers to touch a babies hand or squish their little thigh and have a bit of a coo over how precious they are! In fact, if you have a new baby in the valleys, old people will often stop and slip some money into their hand (‘cross their palm with silver’).

What a sad and anxious world the people of mumsnet live in!

OP, you are receiving conflicting comments with some posters thinking it's nothing. If someone kisses a baby and they have the cold sore virus, it can be fatal for the poor baby. By all means tell the parents they have a gorgeous baby but don't touch and definitely do not kiss a baby, unless he or she is your own baby.

Honestly.. what is the difference? Unwanted touch is unwanted touch. Regardless of whether it’s a baby’s hand or an adults. Or anywhere on a body to be honest. It’s not dramatic. It’s basic respect for another human.

@smilesup

This lady wouldn’t happen to live in Bristol does she?
She sounds very familiar to some I know whose son would be a teenager now.

It's always fine to firmly say " please don't touch. "
No slapping away required.

But it wouldn't have bothered me or my children.

Touched at a wedding...Dr traced it back to that? Unlikely.
The world has gone mad.

But we're not talking about kissing are we? There is a difference!

@Jimminycricketz there is a massive difference between a kind old lady touching a baby's hand, and teaching toddlers and older kids about unwanted touching. If you can't see that, there's no hope. No wonder there are so many hysterical people around

It never bothered me.

Worst thing that has happened here is drowning your baby in hand sanitiser which will be bad for his skin.

It wasn't OP's post, but a previous poster on page 1 of this thread mentioned people kissing her new born baby all over the face, the same poster pointed out it wasn't in the UK though.

Give it a rest @Jimminycricketz.