A stranger grabbed my babies hand and I didn’t react

[Jacketpotatogirl]

I had an awkward encounter yesterday that has never happened to me before and I do not think I reacted correctly.

I’m a first time mum to a 2 month old and I have anxiety which is probably why I didn’t say anything. A stranger (mid 40’s) came up to me and my DS in a coffee shop whilst I was with my friend yesterday and grabbed his hand out of no where, I didn’t even see her before she did it and she didn’t even start talking to me first. She then continued to tell me how gorgeous DS was. But kept putting her hands all over him and up his arms. I froze because it made me feel uncomfortable but I didn’t say anything as I do not know what I should of done in this situation.

What would you have done? Because DH told me I should have told her to not touch him and now I wish I spoke up but didn’t want to sound like I’m over reacting. It made me feel really uncomfortable, is this normal? What would you do?

I drowned his hands in baby safe sanitiser spray!
Much more dangerous to cover a 2 month old on sanitiser.

The world was a much nicer place when people chatted to each other, someone could stop and talk about how cute a baby is, maybe hold their hand or poke their nose.

When I go home everyone talks to you when you are out with a baby and my one’s loves it.
England is so insular and miserable sometimes.

They find it hard that's how. Is it any wonder that so many people are on antidepressants now? There does seem to be a general lack of resilience, and more anxiety that people are displaying.

Some people need to be told to get a bloody grip!

This wouldn't worry me. I would see it positively as she thought my baby was cute and couldn't keep her hands off him!

Complete non issue for me. In UK we have become so completely bizarre now about these things. We say 'it takes a village' and complain about lack of support but the second someone even compliments the baby or god forbid <touches it's hand> we are enraged, shaking with fear and dousing newborns in chemicals.

Not an issue. DD attracts a lot of this kind of stuff, usually from older ladies. It makes their day, it’s good for DDs socialisation and she’s going around touching everything anyway so I don’t see the harm.

Really?

Sanitiser spray doesn’t sound better

No, your friend's baby wasn't really unwell due to being touched.

If you told her not to touch she would have made a scene because she’s clearly an entitled person , I would have picked my baby up out of her grasp and stared at her

I remember a neighbour putting a 50p coin in my baby's hand for luck. I thought it was a nice thing to do.

It happens I would just gently move baby away. Nothing you can do now so don't get yourself worked up

Exactly this.
Most likely held the kid’s hand between a thumb and finger - let’s be honest a 2 month old’s hand is hardly big enough for a full on handshake.
Dread to think when she is back at work in a few months and the kid is in daycare. Will he be sent in in a hazman suit?
Overreaction central.

Get a grip OP, this is a total overreaction. In a few months your son will be running his hands over every filthy surface imaginable and sticking everything in his mouth. Babies are literally born into dirt in some places and have been doing so for thousands of years. I think he’ll survive a little hand hold from a well-wisher.

Honestly, I wouldn’t care. She wasn’t harming him, babies draw people in and got all the people and things he’s going to touch in his lifetime, this wouldn’t even register as the slightest of deals to me.

What I will say though OP is if you don’t sort this anxiety out, it will rub off on your child. You need to get it in order

People are so precious. There was no ill intent. She was just admiring your baby. I'd worry more about their delicate skin being soaked in sanitiser.

FGS you really think a baby being touched lands them in hospital?!

I wish I didn’t post this! Just a first time mum who has anxiety due to many miscarriages and worries about losing my rainbow baby boy. I simply asked a question but I am shocked at the amount of get a grip or how do people survive comments. Yes I am already having counselling, and telling someone with anxiety to get a grip is a bit unhelpful.

I simply asked what you would have done, a simple it’s a non issue for me and you would have over reacted to move baby away is enough.

Also need to clarify I used baby safe sanitiser that you can spray on their dummies etc lol!

Chat to her and move on. As long as my baby was happy I would be fine with this.

Sorry you feel it's unhelpful
But really it is helpful
Someone needs to tell you the truth
Sanitizer for a dummy
Really 😮
Get
A
Grip
Now

It's actually really good for babies and young children to have little positive interactions with people. It's a shame the UK seems so insular and against strangers interacting with each other. She didn't try to kidnap your baby or cough on his face. I wouldn't have thought anything of it if I'm honest. Certainly wouldn't have drowned him in sanitizer.

I think finding ways to manage your anxiety would be helpful for you. I mean that genuinely, not in a snide way. No harm will come from someone touching your baby's hand.

I totally agree with this. I think the ‘assert your boundaries’ pendulum has swung too far the other way now. Women freaking out because someone went near their precious. It’s so neurotic and unhealthy

What a sad world we live in! Is this down to covid?!

My eldest is 18. As a baby he'd constantly get people holding his hand while they talked to him, "crossing his palm with silver" (usually 20p/50p/£1), chucking his chubby cheeks, stroking his hair, etc. He loved the attention. It was usually older ladies coo-ing over him or other mums the same age etc.

He's a ridiculously strong immune system, despite eating a very restricted diet due to arfid.

Kids aren't meant to live in a little sterile bubble only interacting with their own household. 😔😢 It's not normal or healthy! 😔😢

Unless this stranger "grabbed" his hand aggressively in a bid to kidnap him, or you have a severely immunocompromised child I don't get what the fuss is.

All those who say don't touch, you are encouraging a culture where strangers will just ignore your baby. After all that is what we do with other adults.

This wouldn't bother me at all, I loved people admiring my baby. If it bothers you though, just ask them politely not too.

I wouldn't personally use hand sanitiser on a baby though - that would definitely bother me more.