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Not being "feminine" does not make me any less female

300 replies

orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 07:36

I have no boobs, short hair, men's clothes, no make up, very little jewellery etc.

But I am 100% female.

So don't ask me my pronouns. You can see I am a woman

OP posts:
delusionsofadequacy · 14/07/2023 07:40

I always get particularly annoyed when I’m the only person asked. Is gives me the same vibes as the idiots at school who thought it was “hilarious” to dare each other to ask me if I was a boy or a girl twenty years ago because I had short hair.

it feels like it’s still not acceptable to exist as female without makeup etc, just in a different way

orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 07:52

it's so ignorant and annoying, isn't it

OP posts:
Whatwouldscullydo · 14/07/2023 07:56

Aaah but asking pronouns is inclusive amd progressive 🙄 doesn't re-enforce stereotypes at all..

We don't owe anyone " pretty"

This need to lable everyone is ridiculous. Every day another box.

orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 08:07

Whatwouldscullydo · 14/07/2023 07:56

Aaah but asking pronouns is inclusive amd progressive 🙄 doesn't re-enforce stereotypes at all..

We don't owe anyone " pretty"

This need to lable everyone is ridiculous. Every day another box.

well, no one who asks me my pronouns is left in any doubt that they are being offensive, ignorant and stereotyping.

OP posts:
Chipswithketchup · 14/07/2023 08:11

I applaud this post. Literally had the same conversation with a friend recently. There are so many different ways to be a woman (as Kathleen Stock alludes to in Gender Wars). The obsession with labelling is out of hand & I wonder if womenhood in all its wonderful variation was celebrated more, there would be less gender confusion/anger.

AllOfThemWitches · 14/07/2023 08:11

Well you can't really blame people if they're worryied they'll offend someone by not checking.

DontYouThreatenMeWithADeadFish · 14/07/2023 08:11

My sister plays rugby, has short hair, works in an outdoor job, can strip down the engine on a car and is awesome. She is inclined to tell people to stick their pronouns up their arses.

Peony654 · 14/07/2023 08:13

AllOfThemWitches · 14/07/2023 08:11

Well you can't really blame people if they're worryied they'll offend someone by not checking.

Exactly - you’d be on here moaning if someone used he/him to you

CherryGenoa · 14/07/2023 08:15

YANBU, I never ask pronouns. It plays to sexist stereotypes of how a woman ‘should’ look and behave.

orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 08:16

Peony654 · 14/07/2023 08:13

Exactly - you’d be on here moaning if someone used he/him to you

why would they? I am a woman

OP posts:
Ourladycheesusedatum · 14/07/2023 08:18

Peony654 · 14/07/2023 08:13

Exactly - you’d be on here moaning if someone used he/him to you

The pronouns are not used to you. They are used about you.

No one walks up to someone and says hey he/him, good day today yeah?

The pronouns are for when you are not there. And frankly what anyone says about you when you are not there is none of your business and you cannot control it.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/07/2023 08:18

In fairness, if you're wearing men's clothes they are probably just trying not to offend.

StopFeckingFaffing · 14/07/2023 08:18

YANBU

Women aren't suddenly indistinguishable from men if they have short hair and don't wear make up or 'girly' clothes

orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 08:20

Ourladycheesusedatum · 14/07/2023 08:18

The pronouns are not used to you. They are used about you.

No one walks up to someone and says hey he/him, good day today yeah?

The pronouns are for when you are not there. And frankly what anyone says about you when you are not there is none of your business and you cannot control it.

so don't ask me then. Downright offensive

OP posts:
DNLove · 14/07/2023 08:21

Unfortunately the extremely small section of the population that go by they/them have created so much fear in normal people that align to their biological sex that people now feel they need to ask those questions as offending can get you vilified.
Definition Normal: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
"it's quite normal for puppies to bolt their food"

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 14/07/2023 08:21

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/07/2023 08:18

In fairness, if you're wearing men's clothes they are probably just trying not to offend.

Because a proper woman would only wear a pretty (pocketless!) dress and high heels?

PuppyMonkey · 14/07/2023 08:22

Men’s clothes as in trousers and jeans and stuff?

PuppyMonkey · 14/07/2023 08:22

Which is what I’m wearing now btw, just never considered these men’s clothes.

GritGoes4th · 14/07/2023 08:23

Peony654 · 14/07/2023 08:13

Exactly - you’d be on here moaning if someone used he/him to you

It is almost always dead obvious if you are talking to a man or a woman, however they are dressed. And when speaking directly to another person, the pronoun needed is 'you'.

orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 08:23

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/07/2023 08:18

In fairness, if you're wearing men's clothes they are probably just trying not to offend.

and what item of men's clothing would you say is unsuitable for a female woman to wear without being questioned?

is it that we are not entitled to pockets?

Or are we required to pay more for almost the same thing?

Or should we have our feet squashed in narrow trainers?

Or do we need a plunging neckline?

Or our women entitled to wear cheap clothing with pockets that don't reveal acres of skin without being asked our pronouns?

OP posts:
orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 08:23

or is it that I should be wearing pink????

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 14/07/2023 08:24

Peony654 · 14/07/2023 08:13

Exactly - you’d be on here moaning if someone used he/him to you

But why would they use him, OP is obviously female, just had short hair etc. I'd use her in that situation.

orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 08:25

GritGoes4th · 14/07/2023 08:23

It is almost always dead obvious if you are talking to a man or a woman, however they are dressed. And when speaking directly to another person, the pronoun needed is 'you'.

exactly, it is dead obvious I am a woman, and if someone makes a genuine mistake from a distance, I really don't mind. My face and voice are female, so once they can see and hear me clearly, they correct themselves.

OP posts:
Niftyswiftie · 14/07/2023 08:25

Its just easier not to talk to people at all these days. Everyone is offended by something so nobody knows what to say. I'm glad I WFH and barely see people , safer that way.

IAmAnIdiot123 · 14/07/2023 08:26

Don't be using common sense OP.