Even dh doesn’t care about the risk

[Themstherules]

Hi

I absolutely hate to be that parent but I feel very upset about this.

As is the same every year people share pictures and videos on social media of school events and these inevitably contain other children. It’s done on WhatsApp, snap chat, insta and FB. People think that their socials are private especially Watsapp and snap chat but let’s be honest non of these are secure.

We are told before each event that photo and videos are allowed but must be kept private.

Yesterday someone shared a whole class photo of dc I’m uniform. I reported it and I messaged the school parent group to ask for it to be taken down. The sharer did then remove it.

I feel totally embarrassed but I ended up sharing on the group page why I was asking for this. I said I’m sorry to be a pain but xyz is why I would like it removed. The reasons are very personal and non of the school parent would be aware but I felt it necessary to share my reasons so I didn’t look neurotic and so it really brought it home to people who keep doing this.

I spoke to dh about it last night and although he didn’t say it I get the impression he thinks I’m over the top and being risk averse. He wouldn’t have bothered if it was him who saw it.

I now feel upset that I shared my Children’s personal life story with the school parents, obviously I didn’t go into all the details I just simply stated why. And I feel like maybe I am being that neurotic parent. No one responded to what I said and I now feel judged.

Aibu? Should I apologise to the group? Should I have left the picture up?

Your reasons are completely justified. I'm surprised your DH doesn't agree.

You were 100% reasonable, OP. And I think you were probably right to share a bit of background on the page, even though it feels very exposing, because hopefully now people will take the sharing of pictures seriously. You're just trying to keep your children safe. Nothing for you to feel awkward about.

Or maybe they are the kind of person others need to protect their children from.

You think the enjoyment of a photograph is more important than the safety of a child? Fucking scumbag. Literal bottom feeder garbage.

Share pictures of your own child, not other people’s.

Am actually shocked at how blasé you are being about the risk to a child's life! Is your social media more important than a child being kept safe?

Have you taught the child to not get in pictures?

There was a similar case at our primary school.

She knew to step away from all pictures and basically never got in any.

You’d happily put another child at risk or harm just so you could ‘enjoy’ a photo?

We don’t allow pictures of our children on social media at all, they aren’t vulnerable or in danger we just don’t want them on social media. Other people should respect that.

OP you shouldn’t have had to explain yourself or apologise. The photo should have been taken down, no explanation needed.

I don’t think you were unreasonable to ask the mum to take the picture down - seems like a very valid reason. I probably wouldn’t have told the group chat why, would have just said that I wanted it to be taken down. I would probably tell DC that you have told others this as other parents may now tell their children this and could be spread around the class making your DC uncomfortable.

Than you are an incredibly nasty individual.

So you'd potentially put children in harms way because you're an arsehole?

Trust me, if it was my child youd be taking it down.

Not neurotic but also unfortunately not something easy to police. You can deny school the right to photo graph your child. It would mean your child would not be in any official school photos nor would they be able to allow parents to photograph At sports day/ Xmas concerts etc

That's a safeguarding issue. You have no clue if the children on that image have child protection rights, or whether they are looked after.

It's not to inconvenience you it's to protect vulnerable children.

OP I absolutely feel for you my child has a child protection plan we effectively are in hiding from a violent ex. This is not common knowledge among parents in my child's year. But what is common knowledge is that no photo of her can be published publicly. I get the above attitude when I request that photos are not taken. I'm not about to explain the reasons why, nor should I!

Sadly some who do not have any knowledge of DV or looked after children have this attitude.

However I blame the school, I don't feel their policies are stringent enough to protect my child. It shouldn't even be happening in first place.

That’s ridiculous that because you don’t respect other people’s views you will put children at risk. It doesn’t matter why people don’t want their children on SM. You are a complete idiot.

I’m confused, why will children be vulnerable?

No the onus is on you to not take or share photos of other people's children when you don't have permission.
Share a photo of your own child. Sharing a whole class photo is creepy and invasive.

Seriously? A photo of someone else's child? You're a prize twat.

That's ok for official photos (mine used to do that), but doesn't work for random parents snapping away at an event.

@PeachesOnTheBeaches I feel like you’re digging your heels in because people are calling you out, rather than actually stopping and thinking.

You are absolutely not unreasonable @Themstherules

I have a friend in the same situation as you with her x 3 kids and she's always been open with other parents about why her children's photos can't be shared. Everyone respects that totally.

The onus is not on the child, the onus is on those who take the photos! Don't blame the victim!

People like @PeachesOnTheBeaches are why schools shouldn't allow any photos to be taken. There are always selfish arseholes who think their wants are more important than anything else.

It's a safeguarding issue and I honestly believe anyone who posts a photo online of anyone else, child or adult, without consent and refuses to remove it should face criminal charges.