Even dh doesn’t care about the risk

[Themstherules]

Hi

I absolutely hate to be that parent but I feel very upset about this.

As is the same every year people share pictures and videos on social media of school events and these inevitably contain other children. It’s done on WhatsApp, snap chat, insta and FB. People think that their socials are private especially Watsapp and snap chat but let’s be honest non of these are secure.

We are told before each event that photo and videos are allowed but must be kept private.

Yesterday someone shared a whole class photo of dc I’m uniform. I reported it and I messaged the school parent group to ask for it to be taken down. The sharer did then remove it.

I feel totally embarrassed but I ended up sharing on the group page why I was asking for this. I said I’m sorry to be a pain but xyz is why I would like it removed. The reasons are very personal and non of the school parent would be aware but I felt it necessary to share my reasons so I didn’t look neurotic and so it really brought it home to people who keep doing this.

I spoke to dh about it last night and although he didn’t say it I get the impression he thinks I’m over the top and being risk averse. He wouldn’t have bothered if it was him who saw it.

I now feel upset that I shared my Children’s personal life story with the school parents, obviously I didn’t go into all the details I just simply stated why. And I feel like maybe I am being that neurotic parent. No one responded to what I said and I now feel judged.

Aibu? Should I apologise to the group? Should I have left the picture up?

I am with you 100% and wouldn't have judged you in the slightest. Your DH isn't being very supportive, fair enough he doesn't have to AGREE with you on everything, but at the very least support your decision/reasons why.

I left a very abusive ex and relocated 100 miles away, I ticked the box on the form when I enrolled DD in Nursery where you don't give your permission for photos to be shared. I have done the same for her school for where she starts in September.

Her Father has no idea where we relocated to and I would have acted in the same manner as you had someone shared a photo of DD.

I wouldn't like it at all.

You are incredibly selfish than aren't you
Not everything is about you 🙄

👏 well done for prioritising your 'likes' over the safety of vulnerable children then.

I wouldn’t have said that your children were adopted, I feel that is very private information and your DC may not want people knowing that.

I disagree. There’s no need to stigmatise adoption and kids should be made to feel OK about it and not that it has to be a secret.

The posters saying yabu are mad, do they not realise some kids are in witness protection or adapted and at risk of harm if tracked down! It's not a joke, this is some kind real life youight endanger. And you don't know and have no right to know ergo only share photos if you have parental permission. It's not hard.

LMAO
How long do you think this would be tolerated.

I’m sorry your DH doesn’t have your back over this.

On the basis of your explanation I can hardly think any reasonable person would think this wouldn’t be a safeguarding issue.

Don’t second guess yourself.

But isn't that just being obstinate to the point of lunacy?

If you genuinely wouldn't take down a photo that could put a child's life at risk then you are a monster.

Even if your photo puts a child at risk of abuse or worse?

That being said though, I wouldn't have gone into the personal details of the situation, you could have said it was due to safeguarding/vulnerability. It is a very personal thing to tell people your children are adopted.

You're quite thick, aren't you? It's not paranoid if previous threats have been made to a child's life.

You really endanger a child?

Perhaps you'd rather schools banned all parents from taking photos then, as that's the path they'll take if people like you continue to abuse the policy. Maybe you should make sure you don't take photos of other people's children.

Not only do I think you’re right but I would be calling out anyone who did it again. No way on gods earth would I expect anything else from any other parent who read it.

Have you actually read the reason why?

If so, there is something seriously wrong with you.

I completely agree with you OP. And I think it's very unreasonable that you were out in the position of having to ask someone else to remove a photo of your child - no-one should post images which include your children (or you) without your permission. People weren't quite so ridiculous as they are now about sharing photos of every aspect of their lives online when my daughter was younger but I would never have allowed any images of her to be made available publicly. Even now if my daughter finds that a friend has posted an image of her on Facebook or Instagram without permission she asks for it to be removed although that's generally for religious reasons when friends post photos which include her before she converted to Islam and so was not wearing a hijab.

I completely agree with you op.

people like @PeachesOnTheBeaches are why we can’t have nice things anymore.

@PeachesOnTheBeaches It's really weird you'd publicly share photos of other people's children without consent. I hope you know that.

It is selfish idiots like @PeachesOnTheBeaches that lead to schools banning all photography at school events such as activities. They won't follow sensible limits so spoil it for everyone.

Words almost fail me.

@PeachesOnTheBeaches can’t be a real person. I can’t believe someone would have so little understanding of adoption and the safe guarding risks involved.

And there’s why so many schools no longer allow photos at all - because of utter twats like you

You're not that parent OP, you are being entirely unreasonable.

@PeachesOnTheBeaches is THAT parent sadly.

Its people like @PeachesOnTheBeaches remind me of why we still have school bullies. Its the parents usually....