Even dh doesn’t care about the risk

[Themstherules]

Hi

I absolutely hate to be that parent but I feel very upset about this.

As is the same every year people share pictures and videos on social media of school events and these inevitably contain other children. It’s done on WhatsApp, snap chat, insta and FB. People think that their socials are private especially Watsapp and snap chat but let’s be honest non of these are secure.

We are told before each event that photo and videos are allowed but must be kept private.

Yesterday someone shared a whole class photo of dc I’m uniform. I reported it and I messaged the school parent group to ask for it to be taken down. The sharer did then remove it.

I feel totally embarrassed but I ended up sharing on the group page why I was asking for this. I said I’m sorry to be a pain but xyz is why I would like it removed. The reasons are very personal and non of the school parent would be aware but I felt it necessary to share my reasons so I didn’t look neurotic and so it really brought it home to people who keep doing this.

I spoke to dh about it last night and although he didn’t say it I get the impression he thinks I’m over the top and being risk averse. He wouldn’t have bothered if it was him who saw it.

I now feel upset that I shared my Children’s personal life story with the school parents, obviously I didn’t go into all the details I just simply stated why. And I feel like maybe I am being that neurotic parent. No one responded to what I said and I now feel judged.

Aibu? Should I apologise to the group? Should I have left the picture up?

Never mind them. They're just an 'except' an afterthought. People with absolutely no knowledge of this are in a good place to tell us ahout how big a risk it is, didn't you know.

She should be reported to her employer and professional body.

I was just thinking that this type of behaviour against all written policy and the law of the land re confidentiality and data protection would be a sackable offence in health care

Teachers being similarly careless regarding chikdren's express need for privacy expressed via their oarents should be reported.

As for parents doing this local news channels are always looking for news stories to send their reporters to investigate the issue I think pp shoukd contact them... name and shame the parents doing it and the schools turning a blind eye.

It's an appalling safeguarfing risk

I’m a teacher and a parent. My children’s school say the same thing. My school says the same thing. I only share pictures with my child on them or of another child where I’m friends with their parent and where we would likely tag in photos to share with each other. School knows which children don’t have permission but parents don’t so the only photos I share of other kids I’m less familiar with are ones the school has publicly shared on their social media. Occasionally I’ll share with close family some of the pictures with other kids on but make it clear they’re not for public showing. For example my sister lives at the other side of the world so I do share with her privately.

I am slightly shocked that your DH doesn’t feel the same if you’ve adopted your children together. I’d never show pictures of children I know where there may be issues around them being found. Surely your DH should know this and back you up. It is personal to share but it’s your story to share and sometimes that lived experience is what makes people listen.

You clearly didn’t bother reading the OP’s posts.

These scenarios crop on MN periodically and the child is question is always at risk due to adoption/leaving care or risk of abuse. I’ve never seen one that said “oh I don’t want Jane’s face on social media in case she’s embarrassed”. These threads always have serious issues in and these threads always have patronising, selfish posters who totally miss the point.

Gee, you're a real "peach". NOT! Disgusting is the kindest word I can think of right now to describe your behavior. 💩🙅😡🙄

This is the thing I find strange. Why would your DH be ok with the photos when he knows they are potentially endangering your children?

My grandson was adopted from care and his mum was advised no photos on SM by social services. She had lots of conversations with parents/photographers about excluding him.

We are also adoptive parents and all other parents aware. Why should our children have to keep excluding themselves from things just so a photo can be posted by another parent. Our kids typically have low self esteem anyway let alone having to be not allowed in group photos. Both have significant issues so normal day to day can be difficult enough.