Even dh doesn’t care about the risk

[Themstherules]

Hi

I absolutely hate to be that parent but I feel very upset about this.

As is the same every year people share pictures and videos on social media of school events and these inevitably contain other children. It’s done on WhatsApp, snap chat, insta and FB. People think that their socials are private especially Watsapp and snap chat but let’s be honest non of these are secure.

We are told before each event that photo and videos are allowed but must be kept private.

Yesterday someone shared a whole class photo of dc I’m uniform. I reported it and I messaged the school parent group to ask for it to be taken down. The sharer did then remove it.

I feel totally embarrassed but I ended up sharing on the group page why I was asking for this. I said I’m sorry to be a pain but xyz is why I would like it removed. The reasons are very personal and non of the school parent would be aware but I felt it necessary to share my reasons so I didn’t look neurotic and so it really brought it home to people who keep doing this.

I spoke to dh about it last night and although he didn’t say it I get the impression he thinks I’m over the top and being risk averse. He wouldn’t have bothered if it was him who saw it.

I now feel upset that I shared my Children’s personal life story with the school parents, obviously I didn’t go into all the details I just simply stated why. And I feel like maybe I am being that neurotic parent. No one responded to what I said and I now feel judged.

Aibu? Should I apologise to the group? Should I have left the picture up?

You just wouldn't entertain it, even though it puts her children's lives in danger? Well aren't you just an entitled 🤬

I'm surprised they allowed anyone to take any photos with your children in those circumstances. In my experience, if there is a situation like this, the school is extremely careful to make sure the children who could be at risk are not photographed at all. You definitely should have said something, and the school is partially to blame as well.

Thise children may be in danger but @PeachesOnTheBeaches isn’t gonna get that Mummy Influencer Blue Tick by being kind and considerate now is she.

But if numpty parents are in an audience of 200 other parents sneakily snapping away, what can teachers really do? Short of cattle prodding the fuckers? At my kids school they take time to get again remind parents not to tale photos - and yet so many do anyway. Even when there’s an opportunity it at the end to grab single photos.

The sooner you stop caring the better you'll feel.

You had a valid reason, you stated it, there's nothing wrong with that.

The parents probably felt a bit awkward and didn't want to get involved in any debates. That doesn't mean they wouldn't have felt the same as you in your shoes.

You are not being unreasonable and I would be very unhappy if my dh could not see why what happened was wrong

your first duty is to your children and you have the right to ask for no photo to be published of them regardless.

It’s very hard to police though. Schools can say don’t take or post online and people do. Mums volunteer to help at shows etc and take pictures.

It shouldn’t need ‘policing’. Grown adults should be able to follow simple advice not to share pictures of other peoples children. It’s really not difficult.

Your all right thank you. Once I have faced the school run tomorrow I’m sure it will all be forgotten about.

You are being perfectly sensible OP and I wouldn't feel remotely embarrassed by your request. Judging by some folks responses and clear selfishness, it sadly looks like the human race is f*cked because they really shouldn't be breeders.

There was one of those parents at my sons primary school. Her need to share 800 photos on social media totally trumped the safety of any other kids.

She still has a child at that school, and this morning, 63 photos from the school sports day yesterday where I know they asked parents to not share any photos on social media. The really awful thing is this woman is a social worker and should know better.

It's the fact they think any of us are remotely interested in 63 photos of their son doing sports 🤣

Oh, but everyone must be, surely, as these children are so much more special than anyone elses ;) ;)

we're allowed to take photos, we're expected to act like adults and not put a child at risk for the sake of having to post every image from a school assembly on SM

There's one of these at my DCs school to. Everything their dc does seems to need a FB post with 50 photos and is the best any kid ever did, she seems to take extra joy when she can do a stealth put down of other DCs and this person is a teacher 🤦‍♀️

I don't hesitate to ask her to stop taking photos when my DC is in it and it is inevitably followed up with a PA fb post 'sorry couldn't take many pics because some people get upset'. I've never seen more than 4 likes or comments so it's like the world is waiting for these updates 🙄

🤣🤣🤣

I really sympathise @Themstherules
Two of my GC are adopted and my DD is very careful not to let anyone find out where the children are at school or where they live. (I won't go into detail because it's private to her and the children).

My DD was previously a foster parent and always took care with photos of minors. I understood it was a requirement if you fostered? Obviously in some cases you know for sure it is safe, but certainly not all.

Photos of kids in uniform really isn’t as big of a deal as you’re claiming it to be - unless there are child specific risks (such as a child in care). Schools post pictures of children on their own website, Twitter, Facebook etc….with kids in uniform, the exact address of the school etc.

I would personally raise with the school, and ask them to consider a change in policy. Plenty of schools ban parents taking photos and videos for many reasons, but children in care and/or who have been adopted, in situations where the parents or others might be able to identify and locate them, is a big one.

Shame about those child specific risks, eh. Never mind about them

The point is, the school approved photos wont have the child in it.

The ones splashed all over social media do, and the child is at risk.

If you dont know anutbing about something it's usually best not to comment.

My school did.

No parents videoing or photographing.

I know it was a bit of a bonus as we raised funds, but we videoed all performances and took loads of (appropriate) pictures which parents could buy (reasonably priced, we put them on DVDs)

We knew which children to avoid. If there was an 'accident' they could be edited out. And we could do a DVD with them in for their parents only.

And a blanket ban on SM posting.

In that case I'd say you did the right thing and your Dh is being a fool as your kids could be at risk from this.

it's idiots like you who feel the need to post every fkin photo online why my dcs school had to come to the decision to have a complete ban on any photos or videos being taken at school. As a result us parents have no lovely photos or videos to look back on of our kids in the school play or at sports day etc. Even at the leavers graduation assembly with kids in mortar board cap & gown parents were forbidden to take photos at such a lovely milestone occasion. If people didn't post these photos online then I doubt the ban would have happened. a few idiot parents spoil it for all.

You are absolutely nbu and if any parents continue to share photos after knowing your kids story they are massive tw@ts