My boobs, my business!

[StrangeThingsAfoot]

I see loads of bra size arguments on here, usually an individual is torn to shreds for stating she either has a 34 band at size 8-10 and is (god forbid it!) comfortable!
How dare she?? Doesn't she know that bra sizing is an SCIENCE that every woman needs to conform to??
Strangers on the internet know far more than you about what band size you ought to wear, and if you claim to be a 34A then you must be fooling yourself.

What the heck is all that about? It's almost militant. Not all bodies are the same. Some women feel better in a slacker band, and there is no perfect standard or science for comfort.
It is up to the individual how they choose to dress their boobs. But 'personal preference' seems to get a lot of people irate for some reason. There's this persistent myth that all women are wearing the wrong bra size, where almost every bra or boob thread gets derailed by.

Why are other women so freakily invested in the band size of other people? If men were demanding our bra choices were all wrong there's be a justifiable uproar. But for me the same applies to women - mind your own business unless the poster has asked for an opinion.

So currently the dogma (and it is fucking dogma) that most women are wearing the wrong bra seems to be acceptable. I have seen images of perfectly lovely silhouettes where the reaction has been extreme - she MUST be wearing the wrong size (God the hOrror!!!) even though she looks fantastic.

Back the hell off!
My body, my bra, my business. If my cup size choice startles you, maybe go for a walk in nature and get the blood pressure back down. Surely IANBU?

Two photos of 34E, there is absolutely no way these women and I share a physique. Not a chance.

Boob or bust has me at a 34E.

No.

Obviously not.

I am clearly not the same as bussom as these women.

Indeed. M and S 3-pack tshirt bras or H and M bras - or even Sainsbury bras-suit me fine as am small busted. Not everyone needs Bravissimo.

I've never worn a bra.

It's not political. I've just never worn a bra. I breastfed my DCs for years. I took my DD to get a bra because she wanted one. But I've never worn one.

So I find the whole bra conversation confusing really.

DD doesn't wear bras either. She doesn't need one. She wears a vest top.

I don't wear a vest top @Lentilweaver

I don't wear anything up top.

I wear clothes with nothing underneath.

Should I?

Do whatever you want to avoid chafing:)

@Lentilweaver

I've never been chafed in me life.

Yeah that happened.

You should always have the choice to wear a well-fitting, ill-fitting or indeed no bra. Lack of income or lack of places to buy bras should not be the case, which it is for many women.

I was fitted for a bra. She took me down a back size and up two cup sizes. She wanted me down two back sizes but I couldn't get my head around that. I bought several more amazingly fitting bras.

I had been in a 34c at size 8-10

Now here's the thing.
I started to feel anxious for no reason. I thought my prior resilience had gone. I kept scratching around in my head for which life circumstances were causing the anxiety. It was a horrible, physical feeling that followed me around day after day.

Then one day in summer I wore a dress that called for no bra and hey presto! Felt no anxiety for the first time in ages.

Now I don't wear a bra.

So I think I was breathing shallowly in my new tight fitting bra that my breasts looked amazing in and my clothes fit better than ever in, but that shallow breathing made me feel hideously anxious for no reason.

Wow if that's you in the middle, that's my figure shape too! Very broad shoulders (thanks Mum!) widely spaced boobs but not large ones, A or B cup depending upon my current weight. Plus low slung which is bloody annoying with bra straps as I have to let them all the way out, and some just aren't long enough.

I usually wear either 14 or 16 sized dresses and tops, depending on the brand, but I am very slim and people when they look at me guess size 12. Never in my wildest dreams would I fit in a 12. Otherwise my broad shoulders and wide back area will cause dresses or tops to be too tight and strained. Similarly with bras, I always needed a 38 band but now a 40 (just more comfortable, why do I want to be trussed up like a turkey?). I think 40 A is about right for me now. I think I was recommended a 36 C or something based on my completion of one of those measurement quizzes. So reluctantly I got a 38 B. Way too tight, couldn't bear it! So back to 40 A for me! But in terms of boob support, as a small cup size a tight band isn't necessary anyway, it's just uncomfortable.

Yes, your boobs are your business. Surely though, if someone is asking for comments about bras, they can expect a response and some of those comments may question whether the right size is being worn.

Just having the same size doesn't mean you carry it the same way or it'll look the same compared to the rest of your build. Boobs start in different places and have different shapes, even within the same size.

It's like dress sizes. My sister and I are usually the same dress size but it's hard to swap clothes because our builds are just so different.

To be fair I am 34E and a bit similar with a more...middle aged middle.

It isn't that you'd be a 32D. It's that you may be more suited to a 32 E than a 34 D as the larger cups jean the band may fit you. Apparently some majority of women are wearing bras too big in the band and too small in the cups if Tret want the bra to do what bras are designed to do. Lift your boobs, reduce stress on shoulders, give you a better shape under clothing.

Of course people can wear whatever they want but I'm not sure what some people wear bras for if they are wearing the wrong size

Yeah but if the bra isn't likely to fit or look right on the person due to their shape, then that shouldn't be considered their size.

Isn't that what the thread is about? I don't care if someone measures me and says I'm a 30FF. I know those bras won't work with my body and I'm rather the 34b/34c but for some bizzare reason some people insist that everyone should wear the smaller band sizes whether it works with their body or not.

It's like if women were shopping for jeans, let's say they're technically a 10 going by the size chart that the shop uses, but for many women the 10 isn't the best fit at all, but the sales assistant insists that they're a 10 and must buy a 10 or else they're wearing clothes that don't fit right!

Yeah but if the bra isn't likely to fit or look right on the person due to their shape, then that shouldn't be considered their size.

It could be their size depending on thr brand. Again, like dress sizes. Frustrating, though.

Yeah it could technically be their size according to the brand, but if it doesn't work with their body it's not really their size at all.

I wouldn't trust or agree with any company telling me I should be wearing a bra that holds my boobs in the third position in that picture.

I've just measured my underboob circumference - it's 28.5 inches. But if I try to wear a 30 inch bra, I feel like I'm in a vice! I wear a 32B. Well, actually I wear a bralet, haven't been near underwiring for years.

@okiedokie1 As per my original post, I hold my hands up and declare that I did not know this was a thing at all 😆. My DM definitely would never have discussed this with me growing up. I wasn't the type to discuss bras with female friends in my 20s. Since having a baby at 30, I'm now in with a group of women I would discuss it with (giving birth made us all more open 😅) but it has never come up! I've never been uncomfortable and I've always felt supported. In fact, I'm a heathan that sleeps in bras for the comfort of the support. My band doesn't ride up my back and I guess my breasts are not big enough to cause me back or neck issues.

So I guess what I'm saying in all of this is that I just stumbled into my bra size as my DM had a 34 band and we were around the same size. It seemed logical but I can't say I ever gave it much thought.

Maybe when I've given birth to DC2 (and my boobs settle down after breastfeeding) I'll go and get measured. If they try to put me in a bra band that feels tight and leaves red marks then I'll bolt mind!

Yes, I completely agree with you, OP. Those bra measuring things online never work on me.

I haven't worn a bra in years, but when I was in my 20s I was extremely skinny. 5'5, probably about 7 1/2 stone, dress size 6. 22-23 inch waist, 31 inch hips, and a tape measure wrapped around the broadest part of my chest was exactly 32 inches. There was only about half an inch difference between the "under bust" and over the nipple measurement and the only reason for that was the actual nipple sticking out. I literally looked like a boy from the waist up.

A 32 inch band just about closed around my ribcage but was uncomfortably tight. I needed a 34 band to feel comfortable. And I was very obviously an A or AA since I had zero breast tissue at all. 34A felt great and didn't ride up at all. (Then I discovered nipple flowers and changed to that.)

The last time I tried the boob or bust online measuring tool it came up with an error message saying "size of bust when leant over 90 degree must be bigger than size of bust when standing." But for me those two measurements are exactly the same?? Surely many skinny/flat chested women find those two measurements are the same?

And the whole "scoop your breast tissue up" -- what if you don't have any breast tissue to scoop? I'm a bit bigger now since I'm fatter, but my breasts are still pretty non-existent and kind of pointy and triangular. There's really nothing to "scoop."

It's like Boob or Bust just assume flat chested women don't exist, which is weird since everyone who's evangelical about them also claims that women who wear an AA cup are actually 32Ds or something crazy.

Thats exactly what I want to do too. I never understood what the bra fitting service is ment to do what I couldnt do myself. Ok, if someone needs help, let them get help but dont make it into rocket science and let people wear what they feel comfortable with.

I never understood what the bra fitting service is ment to do what I couldnt do myself.

If you know what you're looking for, of course you can do it yourself, although it may be difficult to check the back of the band.

And obviously you can wear what you like. But if you're looking for a bra that fits well in the classic/traditional way, there are things to look for such as a band riding up, middle of the cups resting on your ribcage, etc. If you can do it yourself, great. If you're unsure or not confident about it, the fitters are there.

Back in the day before my size was so widely available as anything other than pillowcases with scaffolding, I had a fitting at R&P for an actual basque bra, oh my God. We got the cups right by going 8 inches too big and then they took it in. Kids today don't know they're born!