My boobs, my business!

[StrangeThingsAfoot]

I see loads of bra size arguments on here, usually an individual is torn to shreds for stating she either has a 34 band at size 8-10 and is (god forbid it!) comfortable!
How dare she?? Doesn't she know that bra sizing is an SCIENCE that every woman needs to conform to??
Strangers on the internet know far more than you about what band size you ought to wear, and if you claim to be a 34A then you must be fooling yourself.

What the heck is all that about? It's almost militant. Not all bodies are the same. Some women feel better in a slacker band, and there is no perfect standard or science for comfort.
It is up to the individual how they choose to dress their boobs. But 'personal preference' seems to get a lot of people irate for some reason. There's this persistent myth that all women are wearing the wrong bra size, where almost every bra or boob thread gets derailed by.

Why are other women so freakily invested in the band size of other people? If men were demanding our bra choices were all wrong there's be a justifiable uproar. But for me the same applies to women - mind your own business unless the poster has asked for an opinion.

So currently the dogma (and it is fucking dogma) that most women are wearing the wrong bra seems to be acceptable. I have seen images of perfectly lovely silhouettes where the reaction has been extreme - she MUST be wearing the wrong size (God the hOrror!!!) even though she looks fantastic.

Back the hell off!
My body, my bra, my business. If my cup size choice startles you, maybe go for a walk in nature and get the blood pressure back down. Surely IANBU?

I’m a size 12 top and I wear a 36A. I have no doubt at all that this is the ‘wrong’ size and then I measure more like a 32C. Which I have tried, many times, and I find the band incredibly restrictive and it hurts a lot. I just cannot tolerate it (and I don’t have sensory issues) so I go back to my comfortable 36As and feel so much better.

Wasn't the rule always that you add 4 or 5 inches to the measurement and that's your back size?

M&S typically use the +4 method, so the tape measure will say 32 they'll add 4 on to give you a 36 back this was traditionally done as bands weren't as stretchy, modern bras have better elastic so if the cup size is correct there isn't the need to +4 (if a tape measure goes round at 32, then a stretchy bra band will too).

The problem is there's no consistency in bra sizing (like all clothes I guess) so you might use boob busts method* and measure 32F you buy a 32F and can't do the fucker up (I'm looking at you Boux Avenue 😒) then you try a bra that actually fits well and it's like a revelation.

*They always say it's a starting point size and not definitive.

Wasn't the rule always that you add 4 or 5 inches to the measurement and that's your back size?

In my case the band would probably be too big if I did that, given that the 32s don't feel overly tight on me. I'm genuinely surprised they don't though! I've never actually measured myself before.

@Ourshoddyhouse it's all over the place. I am firmly one particular cup size from M&S and just as firmly a different one at Bravissimo. I need to go up a cup size for the latter.

Panache Envy fit me perfectly so I've just got them now 🤣

Oh and some brands completely skip some cup sizes out which really doesn't help matters 🙈

Also I'll add that I do commonly wear the wrong bra size. Because the correct size is so bloody difficult to find! Hard enough to buy a 30 band bra, let alone a 28. And before anyone comments this is a stealth skinny boast, I just have a small ribcage. Belly is bigger!

Well I'm a size 16 to 18 and if I measure myself the boob or bust way, it's a 40 inch band...

Okay I tried the Boob or Bust measurement thing. According to them I'm a 30C 😂
Err, no.
Now I understand why all these poor women are running around in rib-throttling bras.

Who exactly appointed Boob or Bust as the authority, anyway? I mean they seem to have appointed themselves anyway, but I just don’t see why they are apparently right and everyone else is wrong?

And I have to say, the cult-like worship of Bravissimo on MN is quite creepy. People are obsessed with them to a ridiculous degree. I’ve been there several times and they never have anything for me. People are literally obsessed with them and think they’re omnipotent.

It's probably (with bravissimo) because there wasn't anything else
You couldn't get bigger size bras anywhere and when they opened it was a revelation to be able to get pretty bras in my size as a young woman that wanted to wear nice underwear
I still can't walk into a shop that isn't bravissimo or a lingerie specialist and pick up a bra, I have to order online

There are bras that I know for a fact are made in my size, which Bravissimo won’t stock and they actually told me there wasn’t enough demand for my size. I don’t know why they bother then.

And anyway, you can’t just walk into a Bravissimo shop and pick up a bra. There’s hardly anything in the rails so you have to make an appointment and spend time with a fitter, and if you just walk in they’re not interested. I’d like to be able to just walk round a shop, pick up stuff I like and try them on by myself, thanks. Absolutely can’t bear the “Hi there I’m Jenny, I’ll be your fitter today…” that’s not what I want to do in a bra shop FGS.

People’s hero worshipping of them is creepy. It’s cult-like and totally unnecessary. But of course you get shouted down on here if you say that, because going to Bravissimo is the One True Way.

So when the OP says “my bra, my business”, I’d like to add to that my bra shopping method, my business. You get vilified on here if you dare criticise the Great Infallible Bravissimo.

@Curledupwithabook Yes. I think it’s usually women with quite square, athletic shoulders who make those comments. Having sloping shoulders makes clothes sit differently.

Righto, I've never worn a bra in my life. In the interests of science I did a Boob or Bust measurement.

So,

It not only told me I have massive tits, it told me I was wrong about my clothes size. It told me to 'contact the admins' because I am apparently delusional not only about 'my own size' but also, I am 'father than I think I am'.

I'm absolutely not. I have a Hannah Waddington body. I am broad, tall and strong. With pointy tits.

BoB tells me I'm a 34E.

No. I'm not.

I thought band size was the size of your ribcage... pretty much?

I have tried various ways of measuring my bra size. If you get the tape out when naked and your boobs are flat (and a bit saggy), how can you accurately gauge what cup size you need in a garment that will lift them up and have them looking like are in your early 20s?
BTW, no fucker in M&S or where ever is coming at me, so don't suggest I get measured by a "pro".
I now wear soft crop top type things that are generic sizes. If my tits look shit, I don't care. I am comfortable.

BoB told me I had to be at least a size 14.

I am not a size 14. I've never been a size 14.

@StrangeThingsAfoot I agree the whole thing is madness. Bonkerism.

I have no flesh over my rib cage. I have no breast tissue that doesn't point forwards, there's nothing to 'scoop' or 'pull the tape in'.

And I think that's where people get confused by the BoB method, Because it surely involves;

A) The size of ribcage to start with

B) Any overlayer of flesh

C) Actual breast size

D) Body frame.

Yeah that's the way I remember it always being, you add 4 or 5 inches and so 32 would be 36.....then each inch over that on your bust would be a cup size....so actual measurements of 32 for the back and 36 over the bust would be a 36A.

I know some brands don't do it, but I'm 29/30 around the back and always wear a 34, I'm sure I could easily wear smaller ones but I hate being able to feel bras etc. so if I could feel it at all it would annoy me.

Yeah but boobs are also different shapes.

A woman who wears a 32B could have a broadish back and then flatter wider boobs......the shape of the cups on the 28D might not suit because it's trying to fit the whole boob into a cup that has different dimensions even if the volume is the same.

I wear 34B and I like that because it gives me a nice hourglass shape. If I went down a band size or 2 and up the cup sizes it would be pulling the side of my boob into the middle and leaving nothing at the side and it doesn't look good, it looks too small and it's not flattering.

I've seen quite a few comparisons on reddit etc...going down from a 32 to 28 for example and on small chested women the 28s don't look right even if they can still fit their whole boob in, but for some reason there is a huge push for women to go down to the smallest band size possible.

@MumGMT BoB tells me I'm 34E.

I'm not. 34E is biggish.

I'm not biggish.

See my photo above. I've never worn a bra. My breasts are small and in no need of Support.

According to BoB I'm a bit fat and in need of support...

@FFSCarrieBradshaw

It's ridiculous.
I'm technically a (small) 34c but fairly flat, they are wide, small and perky but I like them because I have a small waist so I still have the hourglass shape.
I checked that website (I had to guess the leaning measurement because I wasn't bothered measuring. I went up one inch because when I said it was the same they said to contact admin because it should be higher. And it said I was a 30FF 😂

Squeezing my boobs into a different shape cup would look awful and wouldn't flatter my figure at all. Are you the girl in the middle of the picture? If so then this is the look you'd get when they try to make you go down band sizes and up cup sizes 🙃It's weird and not flattering at all!

Note. There's no nudity in the pic but mumsnet marked it as sensitive.

@FFSCarrieBradshaw

Also sorry if saying 'girl' offended you. No doubt I'll be flamed on here for that because it offends some people!

@MumGMT.

Absolutely no bother.

I've just looked at the interwebs 34E. There's absolutely no chance that's what I look like. Nope. Never.