…to tell the mum from school that her daughter is being bullied because of her tik tok…

[namechange2024]

DD is in year 6 (she’s 11) she doesn’t have her own tik tok account as I won’t let her have one (tik tok is meant to be for 14+ and I have an account myself and see a lot of things I would rather she didn’t!)

But as is usually the case, most of her friends DO have a tik too account and unrestricted access to it. Now before I get flamed, I understand that the my DD’s friends mum is allowed to have her own tik tok and post whatever she’s likes (she’s late 30’s) but I’m not sure if she knows her daughter has become the subject of ridicule because of it.

The friends mum is posting scantily clad videos, in low cut tops, dancing, sticking her middle finger up, some sort of sexual innuendo jokes- and once a child at school came across her videos, her daughter is now being teased relentlessly and being told how embarrassed they would be if their mums acted this way. My DD is her friend and obviously doesn’t join in with the bullying. She sticks up for her. But I know her friend has not mentioned this to her mum.

Shall I stay out of it or would I be reasonable to tell the mum what I’ve been told? She recently deleted a video about her being friends (on TT not in real life) with Paul breach who is notorious on social media for being a man in his 40’s and being with teen girls (over 16) she deleted the video thankfully but not before one of the year 6’s seen it- they are all ‘following’ her account and saving the videos, sharing it amongst them.

Her account is completely public. Tonight she’s got a video of her in a bikini… what would you do? I’m just thinking if she knew the effect it was having on her DD, she might make it at the very least a private account….?

Stay right out of it or write anonymously into the head of school. Dont get involved.

That’s what I was thinking.

This

Teachers don’t want to have anything to do with children bullying another child? Funny, Sounds just like my own school experience.

The school need to address the bullying and let the mother of the child being bullied KNOW what is going on with her daughter and how they’re going to fix the issue in school. If the issue is they are bullying the child due to what other children have witnessed on there then that will need to be raised. Fucks sakes, this child needs to be supported as she is being bullied,
not ignored because teachers don’t want anything to do with it.

It's quite sad that the girls does not have the courage to tell her mum why she is being bullied. This is likely to get worse as they move on to secondary school. It would be good if the school could just flag it, then it is obviously up to the girls mum what she does with that information.

No I absolutely would not get involved in this.

Tell the school that they need to talk to the mother as it’s seriously impacting her dds mental health. Ram it home that they need to take action.

I think the mother needs to know.

Next term I assume the DD will be in secondary school. Imagine the comments if boys in say year 10 or 11 find out (Mum, some of the boys say you are a MILF, what's that?). Or the issues the mum could face directly as a result.

Similar with someone I know OP. Other than Mum is late 40s and makes cringey videos about the kids in very unflattering videos. Also does her weight loss journey in her underwear. She's a big girl. And her DS really gets the micky taken out of him. Awful

Manchestermummax3 · 11/07/2023 23:09

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 11/07/2023 22:32

Tough one

You could find yourself shot as the messenger

Perhaps the teacher could have a discreet word?

Absolutely not. We do not want to be part of that shit show! We've got enough to deal with.
Honestly 🙄

Typical - pass the buck to the teacher to do the job. And they wonder why teachers are leaving in droves......🙄

Is she@itsmebadmum on tik tok cringe

I would just tell her.
If it continúes. Tell the school.
End off.

Right, and then after the talk, the kids with tik tok will go straight back on it. You think 10YOs are going to delete the app, or self-regulate?

If they tell the parent community what they’ve done, one or two parents might have pause for thought - but most won’t care. That’s why they let their young children have unfiltered access in the first place.

The school will be preaching to the converted.

Obviously you don’t know the full details but I’d absolutely let the mum you know you think her child is being bullied.

Unfortunately kids do bully each other and use the parents as an excuse.
I’ve had to deal with bullying about parents because they are obese, older or because they have lots of tattoos/piercings etc.

I don’t really think this is about what the mum is doing and the focus should be on the fact you shouldn’t bully other people.

Just tell her I would. It will be awkward but it's one kind thing you could do for that child. Bet you're not the only mum who speaks to her.

Poor kid; it’s not nice having a parent who still thinks she’s 18, cool, fit & has a fantastic figure; the reality being she’s 30+ embarrassing as fit as a slug & has the figure of Tammy Slatton.
Be careful how you word it she might not take it well, she sounds a bit flighty

I think i would tell the mum her DD is being picked on/bullied but not that you know why.

Then she would (you’d hope) bring it up with her DD and the DD would explain why.

Defo tell the mum

God, me too - it’s my first thought.

The thing with this is that one part of it is kids using Mum’s daft content to bully a child.

But the other side of it is that the kids are laughing at the Mum. That’s hard for a kid to take, because they love their Mum, warts and all.

If it were me as a child in this situation, the bullying would be one thing. But what would really upset me would be people laughing at, and making fun of my Mum. That would really kill.

Plus, that underlying feeling that perhaps at that age I might not quite be able to put my finger on, but that people are pitying me. Feeling sorry for me. Because of my Mum.

I would just want it to stop.

Would she?

See my post above. I imagine lots of children would be really worried about hurting their Mum’s feelings. ‘Everyone’s laughing at your Mum - that’s why I’m being bullied’.

Easier for many kids to stay silent.

Make yourself anonymous on Tiktok and comment on one of her videos.

Does the school have a family worker you could tell?

My beautician is on Tiktok and does things like this. She is very local and it's only a matter of time before her other clients and her kids mates see her TikToks.

I do cringe a bit for her tbh. It's like she thinks she's anonymous on there.

Talk to the school, even if anonymously because the pupils should be being taught about safe internet use and obviously this isn’t.

I mean, unless she's going down the Paul Breach route, it's a tricky one....