To wonder if this is even worth it anymore and I may as well give up and claim benefits

[Iopaaa]

I’m so fed up. I don’t know what to do. I don’t live a lavish lifestyle. I earn after tax 3,700 a month. My mortgage is 1,100, cheap for the area, nursery fees are 1,400, bills around 500 a month including council tax, but more when it’s winter and need heating. Running the car and buying food wipes out the rest. Not entitled to child benefit. Ex pays 575 a month which goes on wraparound care. What’s the point? For loads of stress at work? I know people think well that’s life and that’s what life costs but the hours I put in to my job and the stress and responsibility I have to bring in this amount only to run out of money every month just makes me want to give up, get a crappy job without stress. Has anyone actually done this? I honestly don’t see the point anymore.

It sounds like you're doing really well even if you're feeling a bit shit. I wouldn't drop hours if I were you. It's only a short time until dc is in school which will free up so much money. And, once you drop them it can be hard to go back (mentally and sometimes physically) working f/t again.

In the short term, have a look at your outgoings, cut any unnecessary subscriptions or sky for example amd move to streaming apps, bulk buy where you can (toilet paper, pasta etc) look up child friendly budget meals for inspiration, spend a weekend batch cooking (money and weekday time saving), go sim only. It's so easy to haemorrhage money without knowing 100% where it's going, and it's easy to fall into expensive and unnecessary habits with spending as well.

Worse case scenario if you need to free up some cash for a short period of time or emergency opt out/freeze of your pension contributions. But, only do this if you're disciplined enough to reinstate it after say 3 months while you get some leeway. Otherwise, just ignore what I've said. It's a double edged sword that suggestion.

Excellent post.

Hang in there @Iopaaa

But you have totally different stress like no money to repair or replace items like boilers, cookers, kettles, shoes for you or baby. You can't enjoy your home as you can't heat it in winter and have to look for warmth in libraries etc. If you think having £620 a month for shopping for 1 adult and 1 baby is very basic the benefit level would be unsustainable but I guess the excitement of a food bank makes up for it.

If you think that claiming benefits and having much less money will be less stress, go for it. I think you'll be asking for your job back pronto.

This is tough but temporary. See it through, OP, it'll be worth it. Could you take in a lodger? Otherwise zoom in on your childcare costs as others have said.

SMI is a loan though and has to repaid when house is sold , it also only helps towards the interest on a mortgage - it wouldn’t be an incentive to switch to benefits for most people but an essential if people have no alternative

I was with you until you said you have £700pm left for petrol and food. That's more than most. And easily manageable. Batch cook for a start. I can get the food shop down to £45 per week by planning meals in advance and that's for a family of four. As a comparison, I have approx. £500 per month for food & petrol. Here's a sample of my own menu!

Macaroni cheese & salad - does x 2 dinners
Omelette and chips - x 2 dinners
Pizza - 1 night (treat!)
Chicken/rice (+ samosas & popadoms) x 2 nights

A little spare for some puddings - maybe yoghurt/ice-cream/trifle

Consider if there is cheaper childcare nursery tends to be more expensive than a childminder

Add sausages to the macaroni if people want meat instead of salad!

You cannot just give up work and live off benefits. Don't you think more people would do that if they could?

How can 300 pounds a month be enough to cover food and bills?

I hope the Op gets some much needed wind in her sails from this lovely post.

I sympathise with your sitution, OP, but if you can't survive on £3,700 a month (after tax), then you definitely won't survive on the grand sum of £683.74 a single person with 1 child gets in benefits (before deductions).

Since you own your property, you will get zero contribution towards your mortgage; so you'd have to sell your property, immediately making you ineligible for benefits, due to the huge cash sum you would then have.

I'm not having a go at you; it is very hard for most people at this time. It shouldn't be a race to the bottom or a fight of one group of have nots with another. The government should be striving to improve living standards for all...alas, I don't see them ever doing that.

YANBU to find it tough, but your lifestyle would be worse on benefits and you would be dependent on the state and this government. I know which I'd prefer.

Are you going thrrough cms for maintenance? you say he wont pay more sound slike hes made up an amount to give you

I don't blame you at all for feeling this way. Clearly you work hard in a responsible role in order to earn a decent wage, ergo you should be enjoying a decent quality of life.

Hang on, op didn't say in her post she wanted to go on benefits? She said she wanted a crap job with less responsibility? I totally understand that, OP. Why not look around? Think about retraining or going back to education? There's no reason you have to do THIS particular job, but have an exit plan.

UC would pay around £680 a month for a non-working single parent with one child.

OP wouldn't be entitled to any help with her mortgage save for a loan which would be secured against the property.

The title of the post is 'I may as well give up and claim benefits' although yes she does mention getting a 'crappy job' in her post as well.

If OP got a low paying job for a few hours a week she would still get top up benefits.

Yes she did - check the thread title!

Not from Sept - they are rightly cracking down on people working minimum hours by choice and getting topped up.

I do sympathise, having under 5s is financially crippling in this country- it’s more than your mortgage for god’s sake- and the root of a lot of people struggling. Previous posters are right though, although it feels like forever until you get more childcare help, in the long term it’s not. Working means pension, sick pay, paid holiday time. I was in a very stressful job with a young child and I realise it’s relentless. But it does end. I have to agree with others, you DON’T want to get involved with the benefit system if you can possibly avoid it.@unicornhair is right, some great suggestions there.

Just because it's a different struggle to that which most of us can identify with, doesn't mean it's not still a struggle.

Batch cook? She won't have the energy or time after a full on long day at work and caring for a 16 month old by herself when she's not at work!

As others have said, hang in there. You're at the most difficult time with a nursery aged child. It will get better when they're entitled to some funded hours, and it will get even better when they go to school. You are in effect just hanging on until then.

It's hard working full time with small DC, but it's temporary. In the long term you are so much better off in a job with decent pay and prospects, when your DC is older you will have more disposable income, more time and be able to have a pretty decent lifestyle for you and your DC.

You should also have a reasonable pension giving you a better retirement.

Short term is there anything that would make your life easier? PPs have mentioned reducing or compressing hours, finding a more flexible job.

Poster said a TAKE HOME pay of £44k a year. Not a salary