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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sleeping in the living room so toddler can have the bedroom

157 replies

Ezris · 11/07/2023 09:04

Hi,
I’m a single parent to a just turned 2 year old boy. I was living with my Mum when I fell pregnant and was helped by my council with the deposit to rent a one bedroom house. They placed me on the housing register so I bid every week for a 2 bedroom. In my area to privately rent a 2 bedroom is around £1,400 - £1,600 which I can’t afford right now.

Me and baby have always shared the bedroom. We have a small living room with a sofa, tv and his toys and a kitchen with cupboard space for the hoover, shoes, some Xmas decs. I’m super organised so it’s worked out fine but now he’s getting bigger I’m thinking of sleeping downstairs and giving him his own bedroom to himself. I’d sell the sofa and my bed and get a sofa bed. Move his toys upstairs and get a small dining room table for the living room so we can eat meals together. I’m also conscious of my living Situation because I’ll be starting him in Nursey soon and they mentioned doing “home visits” So I feel a little embarrassed if I’m honest.

Am I creating a lot of fuss for no reason? Would any one else bother at this age to do this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ezris · 11/07/2023 09:08

Forgot to mention, currently he sleeps in his cotbed next to my bed.

OP posts:
Peacoffee · 11/07/2023 09:10

I would just stay in the same room as him. He will fit a cot bed for a while and a 2 year old isn’t so big that they need their own room.

Seems unnecessarily miserable to sleep in the living room when it’s perfectly workable in the same room right now.

Why would the nursery do home visits?

5foot5 · 11/07/2023 09:11

How big is the bedroom?

Is there room in there for him to have his own bed?

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 11/07/2023 09:12

I wouldn't be sleeping on the sofa so a 2yo could have their own room.

Caspianberg · 11/07/2023 09:12

I wouldn’t.
A 2 year old has no need to sleep alone, and it will be more hassle for you setting sofa bed up and down.

My 3 year old have his own room. He hates sleeping in there alone and would prefer 100% to sleep in our room every night.

I would keep double bed in bedroom so you have space to share with him if he prefers and can just take side of his cot bed to continue using as cot bed at least until he’s 5 years

My 3 year old wouldn’t really play in his room alone yet, and when other children over. So it’s easier keeping toys in living room for under 5s imo.

Review the sofa bed idea in a few years time when he’s older or you might have moved elsewhere by then

Caspianberg · 11/07/2023 09:14

Plus , a home visit if they even do them, it designed to chat with you about any issues you want to discuss before he starts ie medical, speech, family life..

They will obviously see living room etc, but they don’t inspect entire home, and would only have issue if you live in dire squalor, not actual living arrangements

Codlingmoths · 11/07/2023 09:17

I agree leave it a couple of years. I bet if you did this now your 2yo would come down to you anyway. That many 3 & 4 year olds still come into their parents bed regularly, it seems silly to do this just for the sake of it.

heartofglass23 · 11/07/2023 09:26

When I was in this situation I made the flat into a 2 bed.

I found I didn't really have visitors as a single mum so if anyone did come round we could just stay in the kitchen.

It worked better me & toddler having our own rooms.

Health visitor never made comment.

I don't like this new trend of nursery visits. I'd refuse them.

Viewfrommyhouse · 11/07/2023 09:31

My son has always had his own room, always had a double bed minimum - total waste of time and furniture because at now 7yo, he's still in with me wherever I sleep! Leave it as is for now, and enjoy having a living space.

gogomoto · 11/07/2023 09:35

My dd coslept until 6 years old despite having a perfectly nice bed - they really don't need their own room or even bed at 2

HeyBwoss · 11/07/2023 09:37

I don't remember how old I was, older then 2 I think as I remember sharing a room with her before that, but my mum did this when I was growing up. She was a single mum and had a 1 bed flat, we stayed there until I was about 17. It was fine when I was little, but I was embarrassed as a teenager and didn't really have friends round. But she made it work 🙂

Annaisatwat · 11/07/2023 09:37

Have you got room for better toy storage in living room so you could add a small 2 seater table as well?

A wall of really tall ikea box type units? I’ve got a friend who stacked two on top of each other, fixed to the wall and now she’s got floor to ceiling hidden toy storage.

Annaisatwat · 11/07/2023 09:38

It’s more of a pain in the arse having all the toys in a children’s bedroom when they are little anyway, they want to be playing where you are.

LumpyPumpkin · 11/07/2023 09:40

Don't do it. Sofa beds are not designed to be used every day. You'll end up uncomfortable and miserable. I would keep things as they are for now and keep bidding for a bigger place.

ForeverYellow · 11/07/2023 09:46

my son slept in a toddler bed in our room until he was six . He had his own room with a “big boy “ bed but wanted to stay and we did not have the heart to dismantle the toddler bed . They are only young for such a short time, you have a couple of years left before he will want his own space and he is too young to want to play in his room alone.
Any home visits are just to chat and get to know your child . They will definitely not be going on a house tour .

CaptainMyCaptain · 11/07/2023 09:46

I did this when I had a 1 bedroom flat. It worked for me.

moneymatr · 11/07/2023 09:54

I'd leave it a bit longer. Two year olds don't play upstairs usually I'd wait until 4/5. You could get a smaller bed to make room. I'd try to fit a small table in if you can also good for crafts

Pkhsvd · 11/07/2023 09:57

I wouldn’t worry about it at this stage, sharing a bedroom for longer is totally fine. It’s not uncommon and nursery won’t think anything of it. They probably won’t even ask

Nevermind31 · 11/07/2023 09:58

2 year old will not play in his room nor sleep on his own.
keep your bedroom. Keep the toys downstairs- you will all be happier.
a home visit from nursery is so that your child gets to meet their key person in a familiar setting. They will not inspect your home

cyncope · 11/07/2023 10:05

I think you've got a couple of years still before you need to worry about separate bedrooms.

headcheffer · 11/07/2023 10:09

I think it's absolutely fine to keep sleeping in the same room if you're happy as you are OP. DD1 slept in with us for over 2 years and still sometimes comes into our bed now at 3. Don't sweat a home visit from nursery - your house your business.

SirVixofVixHall · 11/07/2023 10:11

ForeverYellow · 11/07/2023 09:46

my son slept in a toddler bed in our room until he was six . He had his own room with a “big boy “ bed but wanted to stay and we did not have the heart to dismantle the toddler bed . They are only young for such a short time, you have a couple of years left before he will want his own space and he is too young to want to play in his room alone.
Any home visits are just to chat and get to know your child . They will definitely not be going on a house tour .

Agree with this.
My dds did have their own room but didn’t use it for years as they slept in with me every night. Two is very small, I think most toddlers are happier in with someone, I would leave it as it is for a couple of years.

CindersAgain · 11/07/2023 10:13

I think it’s really normal to have toys in the living room for quite a long time. Could you get a Kallax type unit from ikea to get them stored neatly?

I think you need to have faith in your own judgement, rather than doing the things you think are correct.

sandrene · 11/07/2023 10:14

I think it sounds like a good plan! I don't think it's super urgent yet but from maybe 3 years old he will probably love his own room. There are some really good sofa beds you can get these days. Traditional sofa beds or these fold up day beds. Just get a good quality one for you. You sound like such a lovely and thoughtful mum ❤️

NerrSnerr · 11/07/2023 10:15

Don't worry about the home visit, it's more for a chat about his likes/ dislikes and any issues with settling etc.

Personally I think I'd do what you suggested as I'd prefer my own space to sleep but I would go with what you would prefer, staying sharing or moving to the living room are both fine.