Sleeping in the living room so toddler can have the bedroom

[Ezris]

Hi,
I’m a single parent to a just turned 2 year old boy. I was living with my Mum when I fell pregnant and was helped by my council with the deposit to rent a one bedroom house. They placed me on the housing register so I bid every week for a 2 bedroom. In my area to privately rent a 2 bedroom is around £1,400 - £1,600 which I can’t afford right now.

Me and baby have always shared the bedroom. We have a small living room with a sofa, tv and his toys and a kitchen with cupboard space for the hoover, shoes, some Xmas decs. I’m super organised so it’s worked out fine but now he’s getting bigger I’m thinking of sleeping downstairs and giving him his own bedroom to himself. I’d sell the sofa and my bed and get a sofa bed. Move his toys upstairs and get a small dining room table for the living room so we can eat meals together. I’m also conscious of my living Situation because I’ll be starting him in Nursey soon and they mentioned doing “home visits” So I feel a little embarrassed if I’m honest.

Am I creating a lot of fuss for no reason? Would any one else bother at this age to do this?

Should also say, my mum slept in the lounge when I was young! My siblings and I all had our own rooms and mum was in the lounge til I was about 11. My sister sleeps in same room as her DS and he's 10. Each to their own. Do what you like! Noone cares and noone judges. If they do, they aren't worth worrying about! Do what works for you and your child 💐

Well done for being so organised. Imo there is no need for your child to have his own bedroom at 2yrs. Humans are the only mammals that sleep apart from their young ones. If you want your own private space at night that's different.
If you can afford it, IKEA has child beds that have extensions to add as they grow.
Good luck with getting your 2 bed accommodation.

Never had any issues with my first in their own room, I preferred it myself. But now we have a nearly 2 year old who’s still in with us because we have no spare room for and it wouldn’t be fair to put her in with their 6 year old sibling as they have school and the 2 year old still wakes, especially when ill.

I totally understand you wanting space for the both of you, it may or not work out the way you’re hoping with night times etc.

We do live in a Bungalow though so they’ve always had easy access to their bedroom and both my kids disappear and play in there throughout the day so it’s possible your son will play in his room. It is nice to be able to put the majority of toys out of sight so you can rotate them rather than have them everywhere all of the time.

In all honesty, my hair and make up stuff are now in the kitchen where I get ready in the mornings and my bedroom doesn’t feel like my own anymore and I really miss it. Having your own space is important, only you know if you can make this work.

A home visit will only be to help settle your child so he can meet staff before he starts. They won't be looking around your house at bedroom set up etc. I wouldn't move yourself yet, he's only 2 so you have some time before he needs his own space.

Hi, just read your post. I too was in a very small one bed (also with damp, and rat infested) flat with my son. He was there from new born, and he's now ten. We only got rehoused one year ago. When he got to a certain age I too gave up the living room and got a sofa bed and gave him the bedroom, kids have way more stuff with toys and games and to be honest we got used to it fine. It was like a game of Tetris every meal time, moving things around constantly, but I used to remind myself that it was a better situation than being in a one room hostel, or a shared house, I liked having my own space and own front door, even if I did use my living room as a bedroom.
I thought I was never getting rehoused, and was often very down about it, the flat I was in was private rented, but was on the home choice housing list. I finally got a offer last year for a two bed flat and having our own rooms is wonderful, it feels like a mansion in comparison, and I feel so grateful for it and think that it's our prize for putting up with the rubbish situation we were in for so long.
When my son started nursery, they did a home visit to meet us, although I too felt embarrassed (as I always did when people would come over) they weren't judgemental at all, and know what the housing situation is like in Bristol! Also, think of it like this, people just see that you are being a good mum for giving up your space for your child, and putting them first, and for trying to make it work the best that you can. This only shows how amazing you are, and you should be proud of making things as good as possible for you and your child, and when your day comes, and your home is better suited, you will appreciate it so much more, and your child will too and will understand the value of things that most kids won't even think about.
You are doing a great job, and you are not the only ones going through this. It could be way worse too. Its definitely not ideal, but it is what it is at the moment and the government needs to change things asap! Good luck with everything, and stay positive. Xx

Just to add, your bond with your child will be probably be way stronger too, being so close in a small space. I can't imagine the closeness being the same if I had a massive house, we could talk to each other from anywhere in our old flat and never missed out on anything! The only thing that is a problem, and was on hold for years for me, is if you want a relationship with someone, it isn't ideal to not have any privacy. But it will get better. And find a good baby sitter 😉 you do need to have your time to do you too! Stay positive...Best wishes.

Hello,

I made an account just to reply to this!

I am in the exact same living situation as yourself, however my daughter just turned 3. We share a bedroom, she is in her “cot bed” and I have my bed next to her; with a slight gap in between. I too thought many times about getting a sofa bed and sleeping in the living room but then the space visitors come over would also be where I sleep and I didn’t like that idea.
Although the living situation isn’t ideal we are definitely lucky to have a roof over our heads. Sharing a room a little longer isn’t doing any damage and as people have said, they don’t play in their rooms until older nor will toys remain in the room.

Nursery / teacher visits are to chat with you and get to know your child, as long as there isn’t an obvious danger they are more than understanding of living situations.

If you are happy to share a room, then continue sharing the room x

Hi I wouldn’t worry too much I dont think they would judge you on the size of your flat as long as your child is still having all his needs met which im sure he is. And with moving down to the living room, hopefully you won’t need to its not uncommon for younger children to share bedrooms with their single parents. I shared a room with my Mum until I was around 7/8 when we got a bigger house, I had a single bed across from her double bed and we never had any issues. Hope all goes out okay for you