Sleeping in the living room so toddler can have the bedroom

[Ezris]

Hi,
I’m a single parent to a just turned 2 year old boy. I was living with my Mum when I fell pregnant and was helped by my council with the deposit to rent a one bedroom house. They placed me on the housing register so I bid every week for a 2 bedroom. In my area to privately rent a 2 bedroom is around £1,400 - £1,600 which I can’t afford right now.

Me and baby have always shared the bedroom. We have a small living room with a sofa, tv and his toys and a kitchen with cupboard space for the hoover, shoes, some Xmas decs. I’m super organised so it’s worked out fine but now he’s getting bigger I’m thinking of sleeping downstairs and giving him his own bedroom to himself. I’d sell the sofa and my bed and get a sofa bed. Move his toys upstairs and get a small dining room table for the living room so we can eat meals together. I’m also conscious of my living Situation because I’ll be starting him in Nursey soon and they mentioned doing “home visits” So I feel a little embarrassed if I’m honest.

Am I creating a lot of fuss for no reason? Would any one else bother at this age to do this?

I sleep on the sofa. I live in a 2 bed, my mum came to live with me and my daughter. Mum has one room and my daughter has the other larger room. There is enough wardrobe space in my daughter's room so I keep my clothes in her bedroom. The sofa is quite comfy so I don't need to worry about pulling out a sofa bed each night. My daughter was nearly 3 when she finally got her own room and it's really satisfying making tge bedroom nice for them. Although she never used it until recently becoming a teenager .

Do what's best for the child you have, not everyone else.
My DS has been in his own room since 6 months and is perfectly content. He's always seemed to prefer his own space to sleep and we've never had any of the musical beds PP have described.
By contrast DSD bedshared until she was 10!

Unless you are disturbing each others sleep leave it as you are. My nearly 9 year old has a double bedroom but spends about half of nights on a camp bed in our room - whenever we don't force him to sleep in his room basically!

I moved into the frontroom when my son was 3yo to have personal space for myself. There is no right or wrong answer. He doesn't need a room but if you want some alone time, do it. Bare in mind there is a good chance however that he will just follow you to the frontroom to sleep with you, as that's what my son did 😅

Please please please do not feel embarrassed about your home situation, you seem like such a caring and considerate mum and that’s the only thing that matters. I’m a health care professional who attends homes for health visits but also to assess if there are any safeguarding concerns/ home suitability and I promise you sharing a room with your toddler would not flag any concerns at all and you’re doing everything right in terms of housing. I’ve seen entire families sleeping in one bedroom, significant over crowding and so on, please do not worry. Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job.

My DC slept in a cot until 4 when they got too long. If you have a double bed, I would explore having a single, which would give you more space when needed. Most double bedrooms can fit two singles with a wardrobe in between.

OP I'd stay as you are for now, he's only 2. And a good night's sleep is better.

I live in a 2 bed, DS has a lovely bedroom, decorated just how he wanted, cabin bed he wanted. Everything he wanted!

He's 9...but...

Sleeps in my double bed with me every bloody night!!! I've given up. He will move out eventually 🤣

I'm also a widow, so just me and DS.

I love bedsharing with my toddler so I would either have both of us sleep in the double or get twin beds and share the room still but have own beds if you prefer

If it’s working for you at the moment, then keep sharing a room. I’d say the majority of families I know end up be sharing with their kids at least part of the time up to and beyond school age, irrespective of how many bedrooms they have. You’ve got a few years yet by which time hopefully you’ll have a lovely two bed.

whatever you will do, is fine. you say are clean and organised. this is all there is. he is your son, live together as it works. some babies do not sleep well alone in room, some do.

I lived with my husband and son in a one bedroom when he started nursery. Same set up only it was two adults and a child in the same room. Teacher came to do house visit and didn’t bat an eye lid. They are quite aware that not everyone lives in luxury. They are there to bond with the child to help transition into nursery and to pick up in child safety concerns nothing else. Please don’t be embarrassed.

also, now we live in a bigger flat (granted with a second child) I look back fondly on the time spent in the tiny flat sleeping in the one broom all together.

Not new scenario on nursery visits Had one with eldest dd and she's nearly 32

^Just get a double bed and co sleep.

No, share with him. He’ll love it. Kids love being close - at least until they’re much older. And don’t ever feel ashamed

If you want your own space I would say leave the bedroom as it is and get a day bed (or single bed with a throw and cushions) for the lounge and maybe a really comfy chair or snuggle chair. Sofa beds are not really that comfy and a pita to undo all the time.

I have to airbnb my child’s room out to make ends meet (and she’s often in with me anyway). But it Is nice to sleep alone when possible …for both of you.

We’ll get there. I know we will. Stay positive.

Agree with those saying a double bed, am shocked more people aren't shocked at £1600 a month for a 2bed!!
Is that central London?

My DDs fitted in their cot beds until 5 years old, so I would stick with what you have for now and keep bidding on 2 bed flats

There is not a hope in hell I would have given up my bed for a toddler.

What a lovely mum you are! Your little one is lucky to have you. Unless you waht to sleep alone (totally valid) i would keep your current set up! X

I wouldn’t do it. I reckon you’d end up going to all that effort, selling the settee and getting a sofa bed, moving the toys etc, and then every night your child would come downstairs and sleep in with you! Also at such a young age he won’t want to play on his own upstairs, he’ll want to be near you. So he’d start bringing toys downstairs, and the lovely bed/playroom upstairs would end up just being used for storage!

I wouldn’t bother just now. My 4yo still gets in with me every night at some point. I’d just share for now. A 2yo really doesn’t need their own room.

Honestly my 12 year old son has only recently started sleeping on his own. Appreciate that’s probably excessive 🤦‍♀️ These things always work out in the end! I wouldn’t worry about it for now!

Dd3 slept in our bedroom until she was 8 - and her sisters moved out. I don't think it was a problem for her as she always played downstairs. We has a normal cot and when it got too small we bought a shorty divan (normal width) with storage. I'd leave it a bit.

Don't worry about a home visit, it's to chat to you and meet you son so you'll stay in kitchen/living room so you don't need to discuss sleeping arrangements with them.

If you would prefer to sleep in living room then that sounds fine but your son doesn't need his own room - mine is nearly 5 and while he does have his own room he would happily share with me if he was allowed! Also fully expect his toys to creep into the living room anyway, even if you put them upstairs!

If your bedroom allows it can you partition it someway to make his bed into a little den? But again, only if you would both prefer - it's not at all necessary!

You will not be the first person living in this set up - we finished an extension when my kids were coming up to 3 and 1 but before that we were all living in a 1 bed house (and there was 2 adults and 2 kids!)

I do this for the same reason in a 2 bed house, but I have teenagers. I think you can put it off for a few years though, a 2 year old very likely won’t play alone in his bedroom so it is not necessary yet.

if there is a nursery visit just invite them into the lounge but in any case there is nothing wrong with sharing a room with a 2 year old or that he doesn’t have his own room yet.