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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sleeping in the living room so toddler can have the bedroom

157 replies

Ezris · 11/07/2023 09:04

Hi,
I’m a single parent to a just turned 2 year old boy. I was living with my Mum when I fell pregnant and was helped by my council with the deposit to rent a one bedroom house. They placed me on the housing register so I bid every week for a 2 bedroom. In my area to privately rent a 2 bedroom is around £1,400 - £1,600 which I can’t afford right now.

Me and baby have always shared the bedroom. We have a small living room with a sofa, tv and his toys and a kitchen with cupboard space for the hoover, shoes, some Xmas decs. I’m super organised so it’s worked out fine but now he’s getting bigger I’m thinking of sleeping downstairs and giving him his own bedroom to himself. I’d sell the sofa and my bed and get a sofa bed. Move his toys upstairs and get a small dining room table for the living room so we can eat meals together. I’m also conscious of my living Situation because I’ll be starting him in Nursey soon and they mentioned doing “home visits” So I feel a little embarrassed if I’m honest.

Am I creating a lot of fuss for no reason? Would any one else bother at this age to do this?

OP posts:
Noodles1234 · 13/07/2023 17:54

Either way is fine, he sounds an age it would be ok to share still, then again separating now could make it easier long term.

Growing up I knew a few families the parents slept in the lounge using a sofa bed, as children and grandparents had the bedrooms so no issues there (I actually thought it was so humble and sweet).

Mrsgreen100 · 13/07/2023 17:55

If you’re both getting good sleep, I would leave it my daughter slept in my room until she was 3.5 not a problem at all tbh
another friend had a South American partner
and they and their 2 kids shared for years one room , youngest slept with them the other
in a single bed
and then both kids in own beds still same room.
I think that sexy stuff happened in the sitting room if anyone is thinking that !!!
it’s cool to share when they are little a whole other story when teens !!!
chill

Toomuchtrouble4me · 13/07/2023 18:17

That’s pretty normal in London. Most London councils would give a single parent or a couple with only 1 child a 1 bedroom and the lounge doubles up as bedroom 2. That’s normal.

HauntedPencil · 13/07/2023 18:35

Agree I wouldn't be in any rush though it might come to it if your there a v long time.

Choccyoclocky · 13/07/2023 18:36

DS is 5 and still ends up in my bed every night. He would still sleep in my bed if he had his way, but for now he sneaks in when i'm asleep and inwake up in the middle pushing DH out of bed haha. DD coslept with us until she was 4.

I wouldn't bother changing things until he's older and actually needs his own space. Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

mia778 · 13/07/2023 18:36

I’m still having to share a bedroom with a 9 year old, it is what it is

Babymamamama · 13/07/2023 18:38

Just do whatever suits you and don’t worry what anyone else thinks. I put my DC into their own room at six months and we both slept better from then on. So in your shoes I’d find the best sofa bed I could afford. And make the move downstairs. The longer you postpone the separation to separate rooms the harder it might become from the child’s point of view. I’ve always thought if I had a one bedroom I’d give the child the room. No question.

restingbitchface30 · 13/07/2023 19:08

Just stay in the same room. He will love it! The way things are I’m going to have my twins in my room with me until they’re at least 4. We just don’t have the room until we buy which will be a few years off yet.

NannaKaren · 13/07/2023 19:10

Keep your sleeping arrangements for the time being as has been mentioned.
and please don’t worry about the Home visit - it will be fine xxx

Sjxo92 · 13/07/2023 19:19

Do what works best for you both. I sleep downstairs as my girls sharing a room wasn't working anymore as they needed their own personal space so gave my room up. Rent is ridiculous at the moment !!!. It's the only reason I'm still here lol x

CrazyLadie · 13/07/2023 19:23

I didn't have a speaker bedroom for my boy till he was 3 as only had the one room, don't stress he probably lives having you close by

UndertheCedartree · 13/07/2023 19:27

I sleep on the sofa in my living room but my DC are much older. I shared with my DD til she was 10.

Ladidahdidah · 13/07/2023 19:40

JenniferBarkley · 11/07/2023 10:59

I would do whatever is best for your sanity.

So, if you're waking each other and your sleep is disturbed, you could try sleeping downstairs to see if that helps.

But if you're both happy with things as they are then I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a 2yo sharing with their parents, and indeed I know of several who do despite having their own room.

He has somewhere safe, clean and comfortable to sleep so I can't imagine nursery would judge at all.

^^ This!!

I’m in a similar situation to you (but less organised) so my now 4 year old has had his own room since he was about 2 and I’ve slept on the sofa. Don’t recommend that - my back is wrecked! It was best for us because he would NOT sleep through and it was the only way I could get an uninterrupted night. Am now looking to upgrade to a daybed, along the lines below, rather than a sofa bed. I want a proper bed base/mattress but not to have to get it out/put it away every day. This way I hope to just throw cushions etc on if I want it to look more soda less bed. That’s my dream anyway 🤣

https://www.next.co.uk/style/st550953/170446#170446

but if what you’re doing is working for you then I wouldn’t worry in the least

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SultanOfSwing · 13/07/2023 19:42

I have not read the previous messages, but once they reach a certain age (certainly by 2-3 years old) in my experience, children sleep better in their own room, if that is a possibility for you.

Some sofa beds are designed for everyday use, so get the best you can afford.

NowItsLikeSnowAtTheBeach · 13/07/2023 19:55

You can decline home visits and say you prefer to meet at the school.

Is there no way to split the bedroom in a clever way until you can find a 2 bedroom? A double bed under a twin bed bunk perhaps where you put in temporary wall partitions to make them two separate rooms?

Housefullofcatsandkids · 13/07/2023 20:03

My twins co slept with me in my bed until they were 4 and a half because they didn't have a bedroom...I'd just stay as you are for now if you're both happy. If nursery have mentioned a home visit that's normally just a one off to meet your child in a place they are comfortable. They're not interested in looking around your home.

martakeithy · 13/07/2023 20:54

I agree that it is easier to keep your current sleeping arrangements. I share with my toddler. She will find me wherever I am at night and get in bed with me. Imagine the fun of sleeping on a sofa bed with a toddler! 😳
I have an older son who played with his friends in the sitting room forever because his games console was there. Jus5 used the bedroom for sleepovers.
Your toddler probably won't have other children to play alone with until school. At the moment they will probably be accompanied by another parent and generally they will play close by at this age.
At the moment I don't leave my three and a half year old to play by herself for long, too small and silly. I'm scared of what she will break and the mess she will make and of course for safety reasons. She is mostly in the same room as me and wouldn't really get a greqt deal benefit from her own room for playing.

Doggate1 · 13/07/2023 20:56

Why is everyone so Hooked on having own room and each child having own space?
you sleep in a bed and if you only have one time then you have to share - so what!
life throws you lemons.. make lemonade . Enjoy the time with your child because one day they won’t want or need you.
so many cultures and people share - get over it

Mummadeze · 13/07/2023 21:04

My partner and I slept in the sitting room of a one bed flat until our DD was 11 and she had a nice big bedroom. The sitting room was big so we had a dining table in there. It worked absolutely fine. We only turned the bed back into a sofa when guests came round. I wasn’t embarrassed, renting is expensive and needs must.

Harls1969 · 13/07/2023 21:36

I wouldn't bother. Also, I'd want to be sleeping on the same floor as a small child, just in case. Good luck with your bid for a bigger place

ScotsGirl48 · 13/07/2023 21:42

That’s what I’ve done for all my granddaughter’s toys, in the playroom I got 2 Ikea cubes units that had 8cube spaces each stacked them on top of each other & along with the boxes that Ikea sell with them I filled them up with all her toys I also have one of the units that uses the plastic bins(Ikea again) under the stairs filled with toys i fact every storage solution in my house is from Ikea, my house is a blinking advert for the shop, but for the prices of their furniture I’m happy & I like the look of it 😂😂😂

pollymere · 13/07/2023 21:58

Cotbed is fine for another year or so. Home visits are about the child meeting people, not a judgment on your house. I think you sharing a room is fine until you get a two-bed tbh.

helloworld2023 · 13/07/2023 22:39

Hi, I have 5 kids and luckily space is not an issue. My eldest slept in the same room as us until she was 5 and next one moved in with her. My youngest 3 all invariably pile in together despite having their own room. A 2year old definitely doesn’t need and probably doesn’t want it’s own room. Keep life simple don’t fret on judgement if you are doing your best and you and your child are happy …if you’re both happy you are winning at life!

Hawkinsresident · 13/07/2023 22:43

You know there are countries where families all sleep in one room. Nothing to be embarrassed….

NameChange245 · 13/07/2023 22:45

My DH and I used to sleep in the lounge so DCs could each have their own bedroom (think they were about 3 and 1 at the time, from memory!). Worked out fine. Did it for about a year or two then moved to a larger property. It's up to you! It was easier for us this way as when they went to bed they had quiet and we wouldn't disturb them, and they wouldn't disturb each other. I didn't mind sleeping in the lounge :)