To not like my DH physique anymore

[ShallowAsF]

It hasn't changed since we met so the issue is all mine. He has unusual body shape proportions, which I won't describe here in case it's outing, but I think they are very noticeable.
My issue is I have become obsessed..... I wonder what was I thinking when we got together, why I suppressed my true feelings about his body shape (telling myself at the time it was shallow, and to focus on other more important elements- like personality)... I compare his body shape constantly to others (unfavourably). I wonder if other people notice what I do and judge him and if I'm honest, me. I can see that my children have possibly inherited the same body shape from him, and I'm constantly scanning their peers for evidence that my children have this unusual body shape too, that they are different from peers. I worry that they will be judged somehow, that they will find teen years difficult if others notice and point it out.

This is not normal is it. I'm definitely being unreasonable. No one has ever commented on DH body shape to me. My DH does not have a problem with how he looks whatsoever . It's not a health issue - purely bone structure and proportions. The issue is all me. I've turned judgy and shallow and am probably projecting my feelings onto others.

I don't know what I'm expecting from Mumsnet. Maybe just somewhere to vent as I'm not going to talk about this in real life. It's exhausting, shallow and I'm a bitch.

I'm just intrigued how describing this physical feature will be outing 🤔?

I think it didn’t bother YOU but now if it has an impact on your children, then THAT is bothering you.

I totally understand that.
Stop being so hard on yourself. Hopefully your children will meet people (like you) that don’t judge books by their covers. All the best.

Is that from The Twits?! 💖

All I can think of is the chap from 90 day fiancee with no neck. Unless that's him, a body shape can't be outing.

Exactly. Can you imagine similar sympathetic replies to a bloke who'd started a thread about not liking his DW's physique anymore? I somehow doubt it, he'd be hounded out of sight.

I have known some oddly-shaped men in my time.

One of my friend's husbands has a huge head and short arms. It's weird but I can't stop looking at him.

One of my male friends has a very large bum even though he's mostly very slim.

Some men seem to have 'child-bearing hips' nowadays.

I am torn about this-I mean if his shape hasn't changed, perhaps as others have said other things about him have that have made the OP no longer be able to dismiss 'faults' about her DH that used to not concern her when everything was okay. If not, then I agree, it isn't so nice to suddenly develop a problem with someone that you've known about all along.

Was the sex good initially?

the best sex I ever had (there’s two outstanding tbh) was with someone I really didn’t find physically attractive to look at. However, a touch and kiss and I was gone - amazing! It didn’t last long though tbh as I was torn between being repulsed but also incredibly turned on. It was weird

@HunkaMunkasslipper Yes, if this is real and not someone trolling, she’s fallen out of love with him and got the ick.

Squinting? Bow legs? Bum chin?

Hope it isn't big nose? I have the biggest nose any woman's ever had and don't think I'm particularly ugly or disfigured.

To be honest OP I had the same feeling about my exH when I realised I didn't fancy him any more. He had really tiny shoulders and a big lower half like a T-Rex and I wondered how I'd never noticed it before.
I can't talk I have a big bum but I think its indicative of the state of your relationship. Are you becoming disillusioned with it?

What the heck is a bum chin? 😂😂

Is it the same as the "incel chin" someone mentioned earlier in the thread? WTF is an incel chin??

Yup. Like a lot of endlessly recycled and irrational clichés, it saves the lazy and smug from too much work actually thinking.

He would on a female dominated forum like this.

He wouldn't on a male dominated forum that is the equivalent of this.

I've seen way worse on there, I assure you.

He had really tiny shoulders and a big lower half like a T-Rex

Lol.

But OP specifically hasn't detailed his physique and invited people to be rude or judgemental about it. The thread is about her feelings and she is worried about them and know it's subjective. If a man posted in the same way I think that would be fairly reasonable and at least some MNers would be understanding. Same as on this thread, some are, some aren't.

If you get together with someone and suppress your feelings of not being physically attracted to them, or something about them, then that has the potential to bother you somewhere down the line - whether you're a man or a woman. It might not, but it might. Nothing wrong with discussing it anonymously and asking for views.

Bum chin - when your chin has two buttock and a crack.

He had really tiny shoulders and a big lower half like a T-Rex

I'm not sure this would necessarily be a problem for me, but I would like him to do T-rex impressions sometimes and make the most of it.

Believe me I have dated some hot sausages too, but when they’ve acted like a pig it’s surprising how quickly you can go off ‘conventionally attractive”.

Hot sausages acting like pigs. Only to be expected.

What's wrong with a centaur?!

I'll take him...

Believe me I have dated some hot sausages too

Hot sausages 😂

I thought those were traditionally considered very handsome.

I wouldn’t say attractive.

Yes, they used to be called cleft chin rather than bum chin and were certainly not considered a flaw.

You're not shallow or a bitch at all. Attraction to your partner is a big thing and if something is getting in the way it's really hard on the relationship!

A friend I worked with went through something similar with his wife, when they married she was a lower weight so the way she carried weight wasn't really that apparent, however over the years she gained and gained until she was morbidly obese, it wasn't that she was overweight that bothered him but that it turned out she carried all her weight kinda on her torso and middle? It's hard to explain but she looked like a barrel on two stick legs. He honestly couldn't get past it and they ended up splitting up. She never knew that was why. No kids thankfully. Sometimes you don't find things out about your partner until it's been a while. I'd love to say that's being shallow etc. but unfortunately you can't help what you're attracted to.