Skinny shaming

[Bobski123]

I was doing some moving and handling training for part of my job. The trainer required a volunteer, I offered and she said "Oh no not you, you're far too skinny."
She then chose a larger lady.
I get it's supposed to be some sort of compliment because being thin is 'desirable'.
However if she'd said "Not you, you're far too fat." She'd possibly be out of a job by now.
However it's ok to say the opposite.
I should've responded really.
It's like that meme going around with a picture of Sophia Loren and the caption "I'd rather eat pizza and drink wine than be a size 0."
A few of my colleagues posted it and I just think, yawn. They aren't mutually exclusive, ok, size 0 is very small but the point is you can enjoy pizza, wine whatever and still remain slim. I'm just over it.

I was very slim in my late teens/early 20's, but I was very unaware of my figure and looks. I was an anxious mess at the time so any comments about my body really hit me hard and disappointingly it was often other women who were the nastiest.

I'm in my mid 30s, very overweight and my looks are beginning to fade. The difference being that age and experience have bought confidence I didn't have before. I have had comments about my size, but I honestly couldn't give a shit.

Skinny shaming is absolutely as bad as fat shaming, but it seems to be more socially acceptable to skinny shame someone. It's never OK to make comments about someone's body, you never know how it may hurt someone.

YANBU. And it’s rife on here. Just look at the threads about Duchess of Cambridge. It’s the only acceptable form of body shaming on here it seems.

@SemperIdem why would you like me to be in order to make you feel superior?

*Do you feel secretly superior to women who are "fat"?

I'm wonder where you'd get something like that from. I can only imagine projection.*

Nah, it doesn't take a genius to read between the lines of what you're saying. You had literally no reason to tell us all about some guy's wife's dress size lol

I’d have to go some way to match your superiority complex, so why not share with the thread, given you brought it up?

Skinny shaming is absolutely as bad as fat shaming, but it seems to be more socially acceptable to skinny shame someone. It's never OK to make comments about someone's body, you never know how it may hurt someone.

This.

Skinny shaming usually focuses on the perceived lack of tits and ass (and thereby of sexual maturity, femininity and sexual attractiveness); that type of shaming has a big impact on young women in particular... Before you get old enough not to care (if you do).

I'd love to be skinny shamed! 😃

Boy you are slow.

It was contextually relevant/crucial to their husbands skinny shaming me aggressively in public.

And you're only reading that between the lines because you think that way.

I bet the larger woman is more upset than you are

Lol

Why? She may be upset but has no right or reason to be more upset than @Bobski123

If you haven't experienced both then you have no idea.

You're really odd.

Surely the point here is that it is moving and handling training and they needed to show how to lift an average/larger adult?

Having a skinny person step forwards defeats the purpose!

Ditto

Indeed. Excess bodyfat doesn't make you strong and significant strength can be attained without getting massively muscular (look at Chinese weightlifters etc).

I'm slim, not particularly broad, and I have an elite level deadlift of 140kg. Most untrained men can't lift that!

Wouldn't it make more sense to say something like that? Rather than insult someone?

This reminds me actually of working in an office when I was about 21.

There was me, two other young women about the same age, and then the rest of the staff were middle-aged men.

They commented on our appearances all the time. It was never negative – always complimentary. And I fucking hated it. Why was the implication that I should give a fuck about these people’s opinion on my face and body? The general vibe was that we were supposed to be flattered. The implication was that we should care what they thought. They genuinely thought they were giving us a big boost.

I left the place to start Uni feeling incredibly self-conscious and insecure about my appearance.

The fact that these men felt entitled to comment at all was an insult, as was the implication that their opinion mattered, it doesn’t make any difference that it was supposedly ‘nice’.

I suppose by the same logic on parts of this thread, complaining about that would be complaining that my diamond shoes are too tight.

That’s actually incredible! Honestly wow!

My partner (untrained) can lift that, he can overhead press me (granted I’m a lot less than that), but he will no doubt be very significantly larger than you in size.

You must be lifting something like 2 and a bit times your own bodyweight with that? 👏🏻

You think? I think being called a bag of bones / skin and bones / like a skeleton etc is far worse than being called a fat cunt. Having been called a skinny bitch numerous times that was water off a ducks back compared to some of the other comments.

An 80s 12 😂😂😂
It's not a competition of which is worse, nobody should be commenting on anyone's figure full stop.
Skinny shaming is not being complimented. I've heard very slim women being referred to as 'trans' or men because they're very flat chested, very straight up and down and so on. People are making very big assumptions.

I think skinny shaming is generally about not looking feminine or having curves - and it can be really upsetting.

Slim hourglass figures don't usually get skinny shamed, as that is the beauty standard, it's the thin straighter figures that do "no meat on you - no bum/boobs etc".

It's a hard one. I do think being shamed for being fat is probably worse, but it's certainly not nice to be told you're skinny/not curvy/ not a real woman. And particularly not nice for young women who may be very conscious of this...

We need to just stop commenting on women's bodies full stop.

Came here to say this 👆
Totally agree

There was a makeover series (significant makeover with cosmetic surgery, dentistry offered etc) and they did.a makeover for a talk, naturally slim/skinny lady with a small bust. She played netball I think and her team mates, one on particular, the team bully constantly "joked" and ribbed about her small bust. Every possible derogatory comment. The bully was tall and curvy.

The programme makers offered her breast implants as part of the makeover. She then walked out on car walk after the makeover in front of her family, friends and team mates. The programme makers specifically interviewed the bully and asked her "what do you think if her now, eh". She sheepishly says something positive.

I watched it with my jaw on the floor. Their solution - all round - to vicious bullying about this woman's bust and natural figure was to cut her open, stick Brest implants in and then parade her around in a bikini and sarong, then make the bully admit she looked better now..

WTAF.

This thinking is all so wrong.

It’s like judging abusive behaviour based on whether the guy feels insecure or not.

Both of these scenarios involve someone using someone else to project their own feelings onto, and to make them feel better about themselves.

Why should I as a larger or smaller person (I’ve been both) have to GAF about a person’s inner world and motivations when they make inappropriate comments about my body or how I look?