Skinny shaming

[Bobski123]

I was doing some moving and handling training for part of my job. The trainer required a volunteer, I offered and she said "Oh no not you, you're far too skinny."
She then chose a larger lady.
I get it's supposed to be some sort of compliment because being thin is 'desirable'.
However if she'd said "Not you, you're far too fat." She'd possibly be out of a job by now.
However it's ok to say the opposite.
I should've responded really.
It's like that meme going around with a picture of Sophia Loren and the caption "I'd rather eat pizza and drink wine than be a size 0."
A few of my colleagues posted it and I just think, yawn. They aren't mutually exclusive, ok, size 0 is very small but the point is you can enjoy pizza, wine whatever and still remain slim. I'm just over it.

Another option for the long legged is sumo or semi sumo DLs. You adopt a wider stance and grip the bar from inside your knees rather than on the outside

It's only ever been people who've been on permanent diets that have skinny shamed me. Massive insecurity on their part, fat people never seem truly happy and tend to project.
Skinny shaming is not nice and certainly wouldn't be tolerated the other way around.

A lifetime of comments like this op you have my sympathy. In a previous role I had to stop eating my lunch, usually Greek salad or similar, in the communal kitchen because of all the jealous sneery comments about being "health obsessed" and skinny. Often told I "needed" to put weight on.

I've had periods in my life where my anxiety has been so debilitating I've not been able to eat and lost lots of weight and it's no privilege I can tell you. Having to force food thinking you'll vomit every mouthful is not something I'd wish on anyone. Occasionally I've slipped into the underweight BMI zone but currently I'm smack bang in the middle of the healthy BMI zone, and people are often surprised when they ask this given how "skinny" they think I am (I'm not, I'm a pretty average size 10 these days).

I think your spot on here, my previous comment was the experience of being slim but this is also the experience we get too. Really sorry you feel this way, honestly hope if there is something going on medically with you it gets sorted soon 💐x

I don't actually have a clue how much I weigh, which really irks some people in the gym as deadlifts standards are typically measured by ratio of weight to strength. I've no plans to compete so it doesn't matter to me. I feel like it's unhealthy to obsess over numbers so I just go by my strength increases and the mirror. I've not weighed myself in years tbh.

Lol.

He wasn't "natty" though, was he?

Aw, love.
What about soup at times like that , would that be easier to eat? You can bulk it up with mash, beans/pulses etc.

Same with smoothies, you can put oats,yoghurt, avocado, even white beans into them. If you use cocoa/cacai, it'll cover the taste of pretty much anything.

Omg I really feel for you. I get horrible anxious periods too but instead of stopping eating that’s when I go crazy with my intake. I’ve often eaten 4k calories in a single day. I literally can’t stop 😞

I don't think anyone should comment on people's appearance but it is not really the same thing as it is easy to put on weight as opposed to being naturally thin, on my 6% of the population is naturally thin- i.e you can eat whatever you want and do nothing and still be very thin. All the people I know who are 'skinny' are not naturally so they restrict their intake or exercise much more than the average person. Obviously, that 6% includes men, my son is 16 and can eat what he likes and never put on any weight but it may be his age. I was 'skinny' in early 20s as I don't really eat much. It was commented on mostly by men including my Dad's Business partner who was skinny himself. It was certainly better than being told I was overweight.

Thank you. I do tend to go for easier softer food, so yoghurts return loads of honey and complan shakes! Soup is always a good one too and I'm quite good at making soup..

"it's time people stopped pretending that 'skinny shaming' is the same as 'fat shaming.'"

Why is it better?

I am a thin person and recently lost weight because I had sepsis and was in hospital for a week. A few days after I left, I managed to stagger up to Lidl for the first time. I bought fruit, veg, nuts, ice cream, chocolate, quite a lot of calorifically dense food I suppose. As I was paying the man at the next self-checkout said 'what's the point love, you're only going to sick it up anyway'.

I cannot having had sepsis and losing a stone (BMI before was about 19) and therefore being noticeably underweight, ie temporarily ill. Some fat people might be in the same situation. Most aren't.

Imo skinny shaming is as bad as fat shaming. I was severely underweight after one of the hardest losses of my life and a relative of a friend ( female and older than me ) told me completely out of the blue at a gathering 'you won't ever get pregnant that thin'. I was 26, clearly very unwell at the time, not trying for a baby nor had made any comments about wanting to get pregnant, didn't know her on that level and was so thin I wasn't having periods. For all she knew I could've suffered a miscarriage or been trying and failing, she had no idea what the reason was for me being so ill but did know I'd been off work a month as my fiancée told her I was signed off when she asked how work was. I have never forgotten the comment and it still makes my eyes prick a bit with tears remembering how awful I felt when she said it. I knew I looked like shit, didn't need anyone else to observe it at the time. Nobody in the room seemed to acknowledge the hurt in the way someone would've if I was morbidly obese and she'd said it. And she wasn't the only one. It was only women that were awful to me though, funnily enough the men around me got me through that time and my male colleagues were amazing so I do think theres a hidden nastiness when people skinny shame.

Can't beat Greek (or Yeo Valley extra thick) yoghurt with honey.

St. Balfour jam is weirdly nice in it too.

I suppose all of them could go in overnight oats.

That is absolutely horrific I hope you're okay now and feeling a bit better ❤

As I was paying the man at the next self-checkout said 'what's the point love, you're only going to sick it up anyway'.

Just when you think you've heard about out the stupidest, nastiest wanker in here; someone goes one "better".

Back on the calorific but not hard to eat front - bananas and peanut butter (and possibly chocolate spread) .... They can go in smoothies, on toast, in pancakes, in porridge, you can make bananas sushi by wrapping them in a tortilla wrap etc.

Skinny shaming is not ok.
It's rude, it's ignorant and it's hurtful. But this thread is a case in point that many people think it's ok because their goal is to be 'skinny'.
I have a BMI of about 15. I weight just over 6st. I have always been 'underweight' and I have always been called names. As a child and as an adult. I don't exercise, I seem to eat a fair amount but I find it very, very hard to put on weight. I'm constantly on a reverse diet - I count calories to try and make sure I eat enough. I aim to eat more than to just 'maintain' so I can add weight but it's really difficult. What I eat at work is scrutinised (by overweight people) - 'that's your third bar of chocolate today/ how can you eat all of those chips/is that another bag of crisps?'. It's constant and it's hurtful. I wear baggy clothes because if I wear something that fits I get comment after comment after comment on my size all .... day .... long.
I wouldn't dream of saying to someone 'is that your 4th bar of chocolate Susan?' to someone who's overweight because I'm not rude.

I suffered a series of personal tragedies as a teen, I was naturally slim but the pain and sorrow made it very hard for me to eat and I became very very thin. I remember a friend frogmarching me to our school canteen and watching over me as I ate a plate of macaroni cheese because she was so worried I was starving myself to death. People made constant comments, including teachers, about how ill I looked and it just made a shit time even worse. I felt very weak and tired and would’ve loved nothing more than to click my fingers and gain a couple of stone but it just wasn’t happening. I really wish people would realise skinny shaming isn’t a backhanded compliment, it can be really hurtful. The Duchess of Cambridge thread the other day was vile and full of nasty little comments which clearly posters felt entitled to make as ‘it’s not as bad this way round’.

Looks beginning to fade at mid 30s!? That's a sad outlook, have you been made to feel insecure by a certain type of shitty man?

I know this is not the point of the thread but most weights workouts do make me bulky. I’m an hourglass shape naturally but when I do weights I lose my waist and my thighs bet bigger. I’ve discovered that Pilates and Barre won’t do that to me so stick with that.

I’ve been told so many times that it won’t happen but every time it does.

Exactly. No memes are saying it because it's more or less being pushed as real diet advice. Fasting diets, ultra low calorie diets, etc.

And the Sophia Loren one is to hit back at diet culture, surely. Most people can't stay a size 0 and eat pizza and wine, that's just fact, and the post is the social media push back to all the pressure to do that. If you can, well done.

Look OP, the comment calling you skinny was rude. It's not ok to body shame anyone, or a specific body type, with you 100%. But otherwise I think you are trying to find offense where there is none.

“There'll never be a meme saying 'I'd rather live on lettuce and water than be a size 20."
That’s where you are wrong. Kate Moss was crucified in the press some years ago when she wore a T-shirt with the slogan “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”
YANBU though - the trainer was rude. You can be both skinny and strong, or fat and strong, but she was implying you were a weakling because of your size.

I find it pretty shocking that anyone would comment on someone's body in a public setting, let alone a work setting. I thought that was pretty clearly unacceptable by now.

So, I have ARFID, and the upshot is that I was a chubby kid/teen and then became underweight as an adult (both can be a result of a limited range of safe foods). When I was younger, there was definitely more comment on my body. Nowadays it seems to be pretty unacceptable either way, as it should be. The only person who ocassionally might comment is my mother, who will say things like 'you like thin and tired' - a bit blunt, but it comes from a place of concern for my mental health, so I try not to take it badly. If someone at a work event commented on my body I'd be gobsmacked, and they'd probably be facing a disciplinary.

Maybe the reason you get called a cunt isn’t because you are fat…

Haven’t RTFT but I completely agree OP!
I’ve always been slim and by god have I had some nasty comments
made at me practically my whole life. I’m not even underweight - I’m 5’7” and about 9 and a half stone and yet have to hear things like

“You are way too skinny”
”you need a few hot meals”
“you gonna throw that up after you’ve eaten it?”

And yet I’ve never heard a bad word said to the face of an overweight person (although I’m not disputing that it happens)

Just stop commenting on people’s appearances, unless it’s a simple “you look nice” ?!!