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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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8
PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:35

ShirleyPhallus · 10/07/2023 09:30

Consenting adult?

What about the baby, do they consent to being fed hormonal nipple discharge?

Do you feel the same way about everyone who uses induced lactation?

People with IGT
People with traumatic births
People with pph
People with prem or sick babies
Adoptive parents
Same sex parents

IAmSalmaFuckingHayek · 10/07/2023 09:35

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:21

Stop the presses!!!!!!!!

Consenting adult who breastfeeds also likes nipple play(!).

This is either a man using an unconsenting baby as an accessory to his fetish.

Or a man who has used a cocktail of drugs to produce a fluid that is not breastmilk and that, due to the drugs, carries a risk to the again unconsenting baby’s health, as an accessory to his fetish.

Either way it’s not being done for the good of the baby, it is entirely about this man.

IAmSalmaFuckingHayek · 10/07/2023 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 10/07/2023 09:36

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:31

Induced lactation - nope

Breastfeeding - nope

Engaging In consenting adult sexual activity - nope.

Putting it on social media - absolutely I see an issue.

Conveniently glossing over the fact that this is a man inducing lactation. Not a mother having difficulty with her natural milk production. A fucking MAN! That alone screams "fetish" before we even get to the nipple clamps.

Involving a baby in your sexual fetish? There's a word for that!

TheSeaDoesntKnowMyName · 10/07/2023 09:37

MistyGreenAndBlue · 10/07/2023 09:23

It's very clearly a link to Twitter not some random website.

I think this has been on the Feminism board, I've seen it before somewhere anyway. And yes, it's very clearly a fetish and child abuse.

Clearly a twitter link....

www.google.com

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 10/07/2023 09:37

GSDmom · 10/07/2023 09:27

Okay I get the breastfeeding individual is in a league if it's own. But there isn't any need to be like that, the majority of trans individuals just want to live their lives without judgment.

Fine, if it doesn't affect others adversely. Many activists are keen to say there's no clash of rights, but that doesn't stand up to scrutiny. Women in prison, women in sport, crime statistics and census data no longer accurate, girls losing single sex loos in school, women losing single sex breastfeeding support groups, disabled women unable to stipulate female carers only and have that respected, rape crisis centres run by males, etc etc.

Mustardseed86 · 10/07/2023 09:41

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:31

Induced lactation - nope

Breastfeeding - nope

Engaging In consenting adult sexual activity - nope.

Putting it on social media - absolutely I see an issue.

I think the fact that this person a) cannot produce milk naturally and I would seriously doubt is producing normal nutritional breast milk on whatever cocktail of drugs and hormones they're on and b) is indeed posting both breastfeeding and nipple play on social media is a tiny clue that there's something very much not right with this picture.

I really wonder what possesses anyone who tries to argue it's normal or ok. Talk about a boiling frog.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 10/07/2023 09:42

Possibly controversial but if a woman can't breastfeed and it can't be resolved by good support I would say best thing is to go over to formula. Taking drugs to induce lactation isn't in the baby's interests. For a male to do this is unconscionable.

IAmSalmaFuckingHayek · 10/07/2023 09:42

Exactly @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g
If this whole movement doesn’t infringe on women’s rights, why are TRAs so fucking angry when women try to have some space for themselves? Like a FB group for female only issues? (So many have TW moderators now), like lesbian only spaces? (Most welcome TW - not women, not lesbians).

Remember when JKR opened a female only rape shelter in Edinburgh, and received vicious death threats for leaving out TW, when every single other rape shelter in Scotland is now mixed sex.

Why on earth would any of this happen if they just want to live their lives peacefully? The power this movement has is incredible, and that any woman can’t see that this is yet another MRA movement is terrifying.

AlisonDonut · 10/07/2023 09:44

buckingfitch · 10/07/2023 09:18

It's a video calling out a trans man who "breastfeeds" his baby and also posts photos of himself with nipple clamps on so clearly a fetish for him

Trans woman.

So a male.

Males with nipple fetishes who put their nipples into the mouths of babies absolutely should be having their access to babies removed.

However this one is lauded, paid £55k a year funded through union membership, gets on TV LARPing as a 'struggling mother' and is celebrated by the self appointed great and good.

Mustardseed86 · 10/07/2023 09:45

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 10/07/2023 09:42

Possibly controversial but if a woman can't breastfeed and it can't be resolved by good support I would say best thing is to go over to formula. Taking drugs to induce lactation isn't in the baby's interests. For a male to do this is unconscionable.

I agree with this. Breastfeeding is supposed to be for the baby's benefit.

AlisonDonut · 10/07/2023 09:47

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:35

Do you feel the same way about everyone who uses induced lactation?

People with IGT
People with traumatic births
People with pph
People with prem or sick babies
Adoptive parents
Same sex parents

Males cannot produce milk that is suitable for babies, not least because the drugs used to 'grow' fake breasts [and whatever else he is on] is not good for a baby to ingest.

I do have to wonder why people cannot see that this is not a good thing.

Why are you celebrating a man with a nipple fetish putting his nipple into a baby's mouth? This is abuse, pure and simple.

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:47

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 10/07/2023 09:42

Possibly controversial but if a woman can't breastfeed and it can't be resolved by good support I would say best thing is to go over to formula. Taking drugs to induce lactation isn't in the baby's interests. For a male to do this is unconscionable.

So I don’t wish to make this a separate topic but it’s generally considered to be, in order of best options:

Breastmilk exclusively from the mothers breast
Mother’s expressed milk
Breastmilk from another source
Mixed/combined feeding
Exclusive formula feeding

YetAnotherSpartacus · 10/07/2023 09:47

Possibly controversial but if a woman can't breastfeed and it can't be resolved by good support I would say best thing is to go over to formula. Taking drugs to induce lactation isn't in the baby's interests. For a male to do this is unconscionable.

Exactly

SidekickSylvia · 10/07/2023 09:47

buckingfitch · 10/07/2023 09:31

@GSDmom do trans people ever call this shit out? I've never seen any

I think a couple of 'old school' trans people have objected, the type of person that has body dysphoria and surgery. The new type of trans identifying men (AGP) don't seem to mind that a baby is being used for a sexual fetish at all. Anything goes for the new guys.

Riley Gaines is brilliant, as is Sharron Davies. They started out being furious about the injustice to women's sport, but then glanced down the rabbit hole and now appear to be furious about all of it (difficult not to be once you're aware).

Pancakefam · 10/07/2023 09:50

I'm very, very suspicious of anyone that would defend this.

Mustardseed86 · 10/07/2023 09:51

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:47

So I don’t wish to make this a separate topic but it’s generally considered to be, in order of best options:

Breastmilk exclusively from the mothers breast
Mother’s expressed milk
Breastmilk from another source
Mixed/combined feeding
Exclusive formula feeding

I don't see male on large quantities of artificial hormones and medication on this list.

TheKeatingFive · 10/07/2023 09:52

I'm very, very suspicious of anyone that would defend this.

Yes, me too

BurningBright · 10/07/2023 09:52

Pancakefam · 10/07/2023 09:50

I'm very, very suspicious of anyone that would defend this.

Agree.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 10/07/2023 09:55

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:47

So I don’t wish to make this a separate topic but it’s generally considered to be, in order of best options:

Breastmilk exclusively from the mothers breast
Mother’s expressed milk
Breastmilk from another source
Mixed/combined feeding
Exclusive formula feeding

Breastmilk from another source? Wet nursing? For most new mothers this is impractical. The lack of support for breastfeeding in the UK is a scandal, but we do have clean water and formula. I was able to feed both my children but I was formula fed myself and I've turned out OK. I would have done that myself if necessary and it wouldn't have been the end of the world.

IAmSalmaFuckingHayek · 10/07/2023 09:56

Women who have just given birth and for whatever reason can’t lactate are generally not given drugs to induce milk production as there’s a risk to the baby’s heart (I read this on another thread on another site where several women had been refused medical help to lactate).

So again, this man is either “dry suckling” (🤮 not sure how else to describe it!), or he’s using drugs that may harm the baby’s health.

No one should be ok with this.

viques · 10/07/2023 09:57

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:35

Do you feel the same way about everyone who uses induced lactation?

People with IGT
People with traumatic births
People with pph
People with prem or sick babies
Adoptive parents
Same sex parents

Actually, I do. I don’t think any baby should be fed a discharge ( it is not milk) which contains dubious and potentially dangerous chemicals , that has little or no nutritious value and that no one knows the long term effect of , just because a parent of whatever sex wants to pretend they are lactating.

If a sick or prem baby needs breast milk for health reasons then there are many generous women who donate their milk for exactly this purpose.

Formula and bottle fed babies and their parents can develop exactly the same loving bond as ebf babies. It should be the baby’s needs that are put first, certainly not someone indulging a sexual fetish at a child’s expense.

pontipinemum · 10/07/2023 09:57

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 10/07/2023 09:55

Breastmilk from another source? Wet nursing? For most new mothers this is impractical. The lack of support for breastfeeding in the UK is a scandal, but we do have clean water and formula. I was able to feed both my children but I was formula fed myself and I've turned out OK. I would have done that myself if necessary and it wouldn't have been the end of the world.

Donated milk, I wanted to do it but I looked into it too late, baby must be under 20 weeks. It goes to the little ones in NICU mostly.

Men should not be breastfeeding. I don't get why any doctor would prescribe them drugs to induce it.

GrumpyPanda · 10/07/2023 09:59

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:47

So I don’t wish to make this a separate topic but it’s generally considered to be, in order of best options:

Breastmilk exclusively from the mothers breast
Mother’s expressed milk
Breastmilk from another source
Mixed/combined feeding
Exclusive formula feeding

Pretty sure "breast milk from another source" means either a mutual arrangement between nursing mothers, or a breast milk bank.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_milk_bank

I'd also be quite surprised if same-sex co-mothers or even adoptive mothers were regularly prescribed meds to induce lactation. Your contributions feel a lot like gaslighting.

Human milk bank - Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_milk_bank

ShirleyPhallus · 10/07/2023 09:59

PinkyU · 10/07/2023 09:35

Do you feel the same way about everyone who uses induced lactation?

People with IGT
People with traumatic births
People with pph
People with prem or sick babies
Adoptive parents
Same sex parents

Do I feel differently about situations that are different to the one being discussed? Erm, yes.