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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

OP posts:
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8
Verv · 12/07/2023 21:39

Helleofabore · 12/07/2023 18:42

Yeah. I get it. But I doubt, I could be wrong, that those women are doing it for the erotic fantasy as you point out. If they are, then that is wrong. If they are feeding their child as nature intended, I can imagine it would be very distracting and it might even be distressing and unwanted. Who really wants to be sexually aroused feeding their own infant, knowing it was their infant arousing them with that infant's need for food?

People using 'but what about women', really don't think this through at all. Or they are oblivious to issues with this behaviour. Can you imagine using your baby effectively as a sex toy? Those advocating for this don't seem to have an issue with it.

That's not what I pointed out. I think we have some crossed wires.

I'm referencing women feeling a deep sense of shame if they feel arousal as a byproduct of breastfeeding due to the release of oxytocin and stimulation to an erogenous zone. It can happen inadvertently

I don't know of any woman breastfeeding for erotic fantasy apart from the male ones.

Helleofabore · 12/07/2023 21:57

Verv · 12/07/2023 21:39

That's not what I pointed out. I think we have some crossed wires.

I'm referencing women feeling a deep sense of shame if they feel arousal as a byproduct of breastfeeding due to the release of oxytocin and stimulation to an erogenous zone. It can happen inadvertently

I don't know of any woman breastfeeding for erotic fantasy apart from the male ones.

No. I agreed with you. Sorry I was unclear. I am very tired.

I then went on to discuss rarity of a women actually making a decision to use their infant as effectively a ‘sex toy’. That is what I believe is the equivalent scenario here. I was saying that instance is much more unlikely in women and that those using the ‘Whataboutery’ seem to not be based in reality.

Verv · 12/07/2023 22:02

Ahh! Yes, got you now sorry.

Yes, I think that's the equivalent scenario and I agree with you.

2oreosandmilk · 12/07/2023 22:03

I don’t know. I imagine if my husband could’ve breastfed I’d have undoubtedly taken him up on the offer. If the person is lactating and producing actual breast milk and the baby is being fed is it an issue?

I can’t see any proof of fetishes when I looked? Although if this is the case, many women enjoy breast stimulation but still breastfeed and feel no sexual desires while doing so?

open to corrections if I’m wrong ofc but just saying as I see in this instance.

DogbertMcDogglesworth · 12/07/2023 22:30

lauraloulou1 · 12/07/2023 18:47

Admins, I'd really love to get some mum and life tips without this disgusting transphobia being shoved down my throat every goddam day. Why has this not been removed? Get a life OP!

And I, like many other biological women, would love it if men stopped muscling in on all things women!

BathroomOnTheRight · 13/07/2023 04:05

lauraloulou1 · 12/07/2023 18:47

Admins, I'd really love to get some mum and life tips without this disgusting transphobia being shoved down my throat every goddam day. Why has this not been removed? Get a life OP!

@lauraloulou1 What is disgusting, is your ignorance of what is going on. What the hell is wrong with you??

pickledandpuzzled · 13/07/2023 07:19

lauraloulou1 · 12/07/2023 18:47

Admins, I'd really love to get some mum and life tips without this disgusting transphobia being shoved down my throat every goddam day. Why has this not been removed? Get a life OP!

Yep, no one wants to read about a man using a baby as a nipple clamp while they are looking for parenting advice. You are so right. Disgusting. Quick, get your head back in the sand so you can carry on being kind.

Helleofabore · 13/07/2023 07:19

Verv · 12/07/2023 22:02

Ahh! Yes, got you now sorry.

Yes, I think that's the equivalent scenario and I agree with you.

Maybe I needed to add a ‘too’ after ‘I’ in the sentence ‘I too doubt’.

i apologise.

Swrigh1234 · 13/07/2023 07:26

These perverts are indulging their fetishes and abusing children. But you can’t call it out be sure apparently it’s transphobia.

Helleofabore · 13/07/2023 07:47

2oreosandmilk · 12/07/2023 22:03

I don’t know. I imagine if my husband could’ve breastfed I’d have undoubtedly taken him up on the offer. If the person is lactating and producing actual breast milk and the baby is being fed is it an issue?

I can’t see any proof of fetishes when I looked? Although if this is the case, many women enjoy breast stimulation but still breastfeed and feel no sexual desires while doing so?

open to corrections if I’m wrong ofc but just saying as I see in this instance.

This is a male who posts images of themselves wearing nipple clamps on social media? Did you read the thread?

What woman would post an image of them breastfeeding on a bus to their cancer treatment appointment on social media? It was all for show and that ‘session’ was all about that male’s need to be seen doing that act. That male person used that infant as a prop for whatever reason, but still a prop!

I posted links where males are discussing why they induced lactation and not once did it centre on an infant. It was only ever about them and their needs.

Do you then also understand about autogynephilia? Where some male people are sexually aroused whenever they imagine themselves, or visually see themselves being a ‘woman’ or other people see them and treat them as a ‘woman’? Can you imagine a scenario where an infant validates this person as a woman is exactly what drives that fetish? The very act of an infant validating them as a ‘woman’ would be very appealing in those instances.

And please read the links about the fact that not one person has tested the full spectrum composition of the substance being fed. Testosterone? What do you think testosterone could do to a female infant? What about the lactation drug? Never been tested for interactions with any other of the drugs this male will be using, for starters it could mean that there is a reaction meaning large % of that drug is passed to the infant. Women are told to stop so many foods and medications- and yet here no one has even tested this substance and interactions at all.

And this substance does not have the interaction between infant and mother. Where the mothers body has receptors (that males don’t) that fine tunes her milk to her infant’s needs. And also her body know and has the timeline of how her milk is composed to suit that infants needs every single step of the way. This does not happen in male bodies.

Yes, I guess if you look at that scenario only superficially you might not understand what is actually happening. Would we have wanted all fathers to share breastfeeding our children, sure, to share the load. There is a reason male bodies do lactate without an illness or this intervention. Their breasts and brain still lack some of the programming female bodies.

What is the benefit to these infants in advocating for this?

Fuckthatguy · 13/07/2023 16:38

@Helleofabore

👏 👏👏

Thank you for articulating this so perfectly.

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/07/2023 18:35

lauraloulou1 · 12/07/2023 18:47

Admins, I'd really love to get some mum and life tips without this disgusting transphobia being shoved down my throat every goddam day. Why has this not been removed? Get a life OP!

What is transphobic about pointing out the FACT that men do NOT produce breast milk? They can't - they have no milk producing lobules. What they produce in a sebaceous secretion - not unlike sweat.

And that is what these poor babies are filling their little tummies with. It doesn't nourish them, and it doesn't comfort them - it could very possibly harm them - they would certainly be left malnourished without supplementary food.

If you don't like reading this sort of post - fine. Go somewhere else for your "mum and life tips". There are plenty of other threads to choose from.

What made you think you would find "mum and life tips" on a thread about men "breastfeeding" anyway?

Just because you don't want to read the subject of a thread it doesn't mean other people don't. I don't want to read celeb threads, but I don't demand that the "admins" take them down. I just don't bother with them.

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/07/2023 18:36

ArabeIIaScott · 12/07/2023 19:39

Don't you mean 'gestational parent' tips?

😂

Touche!

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