To expect a gift for my newborn?

[Freckles978]

If I ever visit a family member or friend to see their newborn child, I would always bring a gift for the baby. Am I the only person who would always do this?

I met a friend specifically to let her meet to my newborn, and she didn't have a gift, and I think it's just rude to not have one. She did previously ask me if I was having a baby shower, to which I had said no. Might this be reason?

You act like you are doing your friend a favour in letting them meet your baby. Seriously wake up to yourself and give your head a wobble. No one cares that you had a baby, your friend doesn't care and is probably being polite by seeing your baby in all honesty she probably doesn't give a damn. Your baby isn't the Queen of Sheba or a royal prince. It's just a baby. No big deal. And while presents are nice, you sound selfish, rude and grabby expecting one.

Christ, entitled much?!

Yes I would take a gift and it’s courtesy to bring one but it wouldn’t upset me enough to post on mumsnet.

@Spottedsox Just so you know, the saying is mind you not 'mind due'.

She should be on her knees with a fist full of vouchers and a pocket full of homemade lasagne for you!

Genius 🤣🤣🤣

While we all know it is wrong to expect a gift, in my experience it is customary to take a gift for a newborn. Anyone pretending they had never heard of such a thing has been living under a rock.

I also don't think there should be any expectation for friends to see tiny babies, it needs to be when the mother feels ready.

I think your friend hasn't been much of a friend really. It doesn't get much bigger than giving birth. Congratulations, by the way.

Congratulations

No one has an automatic right to a newborn baby gift. They can wait until the baby is older.

Seriously, she may have wanted to see you first, get some ideas, see what you already have. She may not have had time.

or maybe she isn't planning to give one. It's rude to expect.

OP, I don't think it's entitled or weird to expect a little gift as it has become customary and a culturally accepted norm that when you visit a someone who has had a baby... the first time you take a little card (there are many of these in card shops, and a little gift for the child and/or parent(s).

I suspect some of the people posting are childfree mumsnetters who can be a bit militant/defensive etc. about anyone wanting or expecting different treatment for having a baby.

Congrats on your little baby! You did an amazing thing! Enjoy this special time and don't worry about this friend - you can just not buy her anything when she has a baby and see how she feels ;o)

Wow how entitled. 😂Are you ok

I don't believe this is real because nobody can be this entitled surely? On the off chance it is babies are not pay per view.

You seem transactional.

Previous 2 comments spot on 😂

You sound like a dick op

describing yourself as ‘letting’ your friend meet your baby is utterly bizarre. You are her friend, why wouldn’t you want her to.

It’s not compulsory to bring anything when you first meet a baby. If she’s a close friend she’ll probably get you something at some point - but it might not be till Christening / Christmas / birthday.

You are being unreasonable and also weird.

Sticking little in front of everything doesn’t make it any less entitled PP

It’s not standard to bring something the first time you meet a baby. If you’re a close friend it’s standard to give something at some point in the first year.

And no, I don’t think the majority of people posting here are childfree. Why would they be? They are just people with a grip on normal behaviour.

Unless there’s some deep seated cultural backstory related to bringing gifts to newborns to them bring luck etc, do some work on yourself as to why you need gifts in order for you to feel loved and supported. Your baby absolutely does not know or care right now so this is all about you and what you feel entitled to.

The OP is getting a hard time here, but I think it’s quite normal to take a gift for a newborn isn’t it? At least it was when my children were born. I was genuinely astonished by how many people I barely knew gave me little presents for the baby. Personally I’d always take a small present to a friend who’d just had a baby, but maybe times have changed. (My friends are more likely to become grandparents these days in any case!)

And you don’t have an automatic right for a gift. Grow up and get a grip.

I always take small gift to the friend, who just had a baby, but I don’t think it’s rude to not give one. I had no baby shower, as I find this custom weird , but I did quite large christening for my son. Will you organise it or something similar? Some people may prefer to give presents on the occasion rather then just visit.

At some point, yep, but not especially on the first meeting

I remember everyone who came to see dc when they were newborn, I cannot remember any of the gifts we received though and who was from what. I was more happy family and friends wanted to hold, help feed/change etc. I was a young mother and people wanting to see my pfb meant so much more than gifts/cards. Yabu

I don't think I'd really think about it, to be honest. I'd be happy to see my friend. Don't you have enough clutter already?

I can't believe someone would genuinely post this, especially if they're not new to Mumsnet!

To answer the question it's a nice gesture but in no way rude to not bring a gift. In your second post about no one has a right to meet a newborn, it's also not a privilege either, it's probably nice for your friend but do you really think they would be that arsed if you did the Mumsnet thing of making people wait weeks to see the new baby Jesus?

This has to be a joke thread......surely....😬🤔