To expect a gift for my newborn?

[Freckles978]

If I ever visit a family member or friend to see their newborn child, I would always bring a gift for the baby. Am I the only person who would always do this?

I met a friend specifically to let her meet to my newborn, and she didn't have a gift, and I think it's just rude to not have one. She did previously ask me if I was having a baby shower, to which I had said no. Might this be reason?

How do you know its a lie?

I wouldn't turn up empty handed. I wouldn't/haven't cared that someone hasn't bought a gift. I was genuinely happy to see someone to breakup the groundhog day effects of having a newborn.

But as you said your friend is stingy. So don't get her a gift if you feel she takes takes takes. It's simple.

Christ alive

She has your daughters entire life to buy gifts. There's no expiration date on gifts

Maybe she thinks you have enough newborn tat snd may benefit in six months or a year

I would take a gift but we aren’t all the same.

Love it......! Shouldn't it have been announced in The Times too?

Also, no one has automatic right to see your newborn. They can wait until the baby is older meet them.

How long does this magical "newborn" stage last (when being in it's presence is a great privilege) and when does the offspring become just a "baby"?

BreadInCaptivity
I won't quote your whole post yet again, but: excellent work

Brilliant.........choked on my coffee! Thank you......

I think people vary on this, it is best not to be offended. I would also always give a gift to friends having babies but I know when I had my first some friends did not bother (but these were usually younger friends with no kids of their own who I suspect just did not think about it). I also got a lot less for my second. In fact hardly anyone bothered with that. But I don’t think anybody meant anything bad by it.

I have a close friend who always remembers to send gifts to my eldest for birthdays but rarely remembers my youngest. It is almost like my youngest doesn’t exist to her! I always remember both her kids. I just let it slide.

I've had 5 children and apart from my mum knitting cardigans/jackets to match with bought outfits, I politely and firmly asked people not to buy anything...if they were thinking of doing just that.
I didn't want to get all sorts of stuff baby would never wear or play with and they grow so quickly and after my first, I saved everything for the next one.

Hi there everybody buys for the baby its overwhelming for some new moms how about buying mom a present just for her. Alternatively an iou for a day of housework, or a pamper session or watch the baby whilst she has a sleep this is more appreciated than you know and if visiting dont expect her to wait on you hand and foot get off youre bum and make her a brew or a spot of lunch if thats ok if shes comfartable you doing it. Put in a load of laundry i did the majority of this when my daughter had her children my grandaughters so she could focus on her and dads bonding. Happy baby happy mom .

@Lacucuracha

You are right, and not being grabby at all.

People here pretend that they regularly buy presents for their friends with no expectation of ever getting a gift in return but it’s mostly a lie.

And how are you aware of what actually goes on in people's heads? You are expressing an opinion not a fact.

I literally could not remember who brought what, or if they did, except for the more unusual presents like an enormous brightly coloured turtle or heartfelt like a uni friend giving knitted booties, for my two. Nice if friends did it but unimportant if they didn't. Seriously could not give a monkeys.

I have always taken a gift if meeting a friend's or acquaintance's baby for the first time.

You forgot the red carpet to unroll at her friend's feet. She has just had a baby, after all.

What do you mean, right to see newborn, that's weird. Maybe no one wants to see the newborn, they are precious to us but other people would probably rather not be bothered. People just feel they have to be interested to be polite. Your poor friend. Your acting like it's a new toy and everyone should feel privileged you let them see it. How would you feel if she said "yeh it's a new baby so what". Gifts? Have you considered some people can't afford to eat let alone buy your special addition a gift. Sorry but I think a bit of self importance is going on here.

PFB

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!! I hope you're both doing well. The days can be long but the rewards are many - wait till your baby smiles at you! If I was your friend I'd buy your baby a gift. However please don't be hurt your friend didn't. I didn't realise so many people on Mumsnet don't think a gift for babies is a thing anymore. I am noticing, however, that many on here think they are morally above everyone else. I wonder what they're really like when not sprouting how selfless they are to the world. If this is the way they speak to a forum group than God help their friends who have to tolerate them. That's why I'm leaving Mumsnet, it's not supportive and it's not real. In this life we have a wonderful opportunity to support and care when people who are hurt reach out, make the journey a little easier. All the best, get as much rest as you can, get together with nice people, and try to plan some fun activities!!

@Freckles978 congrats on your baby and try not stressing too much about your friend.
Maybe she is childless and red MN to see if she needs to bring a gift.
I received and gave gifts for childbirth and seriously question integrity and sanity of many posters here.

MN crowd wil regularly make enormous deal of:
Celebration of "big" birthdays, where they go, who is invited and what they receive... You lived on planet Earth for 40 years, congratulations lol.

Christmas - imaginary birthday of religious person that requires extended family stressing over gifts and obligatory million posts how MIL/SIL etc. brought crap. Like MN is ran by toddlers.

Relationship anniversaries of any kind that include gifts from anyone who is not in that relationship. They already gave you shit for wedding.

Plethora of other bizarre gift-giving events like moving in, moving out, job change etc.

But...
Getting a gift for one of most life changing events in your life? Moreover, getting gift for you and baby surviving event that you will not match in term of risk taking unless you are in multiple extreme sports?
God no.
"It wOulD neVer ocCur to mE to eXpecT a gIft"
and obligatory: "SurEly bAby is tHe biGgesT giFt".

My only conclusion is that majority on MN are:
A) Hypocrites for expecting gifts for random own birthdays and acting surprised someone expects gift for crating baby.
B) Seriously deluded about importance of events in their own life.
Or mix of the above.

you don’t give gifts to receive adoration or expecting something in return. It’s not about you.

I always give a gift for a new baby but because I like to and make the decision to.

I couldn’t give a shit if someone didn’t get me anything in return!

Ignore all the horrible responses, I think a present for your baby from your best friend isn't unreasonable

Frankincense, gold and myrrh should have been presented on arrival as is custom for such an historic meeting.

Such a tight offering though, where are the sheep from the shepherds?

Do others find the use of the word 'meet' odd in these circumstances? To me 'meet' means a two way interaction, not where one's billing and cooing while the other, hopefully, sleeps serenely!

I hate gift giving and tbf I’m not that keen on receiving either, I still have so much shite from DC1 l mean , wtf is one meant to do with a silver spoon that reads “It’s a boy”, can I leave it in the sugar bowl???

Zombie thread

@LondonFox how did you even find a post over 6 months old?

I take gifts but would never have expected them. Maybe she is waiting on something being delivered?? Haven't rtft so sorry if you've disclosed this already