To expect a gift for my newborn?

[Freckles978]

If I ever visit a family member or friend to see their newborn child, I would always bring a gift for the baby. Am I the only person who would always do this?

I met a friend specifically to let her meet to my newborn, and she didn't have a gift, and I think it's just rude to not have one. She did previously ask me if I was having a baby shower, to which I had said no. Might this be reason?

I think you're very rude to expect gifts. Sure a gift is nice to celebrate a new baby, most people want to give a gift but to expect a gift is downright rude and kind of misses the point about friendship. A visit from your friend should be enough for you. Enjoy your baby and congratulations.

I haven't read the entire thread but agree with you that it is the "norm" to take a gift for the baby. I always do this and when I had my own children, many people sent / brought gifts.

It is weird and rude maybe she is right with money

Yes I would buy baby gift for friend/family, but would not necessarily expect it back. Maybe not everyone buys baby gifts. But I can see why you would be a bit upset at not having it reciprocated when yiu have been so generous to others.

Maybe they don’t have much money to get a gift not everyone’s got the money these days, I would never expect gifts from anyone for any my children even when new borns, I think it’s rude to expect a gift be happy she came to see use. First time my friend came to see my new baby she didn’t bring a gift and I didn’t even care I was just happy to see my friend and for the company.

That comes across as very entitled. As nice as it would have been if she had bought a gift, and personally I would, you shouldn't EXPECT it.

Your baby is the best thing ever to you, to others he/she is just another baby.

I personally would buy a gift but I wouldn’t be upset if someone didn’t

Jesus christ you are a PARENT, time to grow the fuck up, rapidly.

What I don’t understand is the baby shower etiquette- didn’t have them in my day! So you buy a baby shower gift and then a gift when the baby is born! Plus the appointment system for visiting! Again when I had mine people just turned up, (most did bring gifts though 😂)

So I suppose because you didn’t have a shower, a present might be given but i think you should ever expect a gift. As others have said perhaps she doesn’t have the money.

Where I live if and when you go on a visit to see the new baby you do take a gift. That may be something posh or something homemade, something expensive or a voucher for 2 hours of babysitting, but you do bring something. 😊

Maybe she is feeling the pinch with the cost of living - not everyone has "spare" money. When I had a child many years ago, I was grateful for the few presents that I received but did not expect them. Maybe a bit off topic but a few years later when a well off neighbour's husband died, one of the other neighbours told me and suggested I bought her some flowers. I told her that in all the years I had lived there I had never received a card or present when I had a baby so I was not going to give anything.

errrrrrrrrrr.... a gift is just that - a gift. Not something someone owes you, or something you expect. You sound really entitled.

I don't always bring gifts when I'm meeting a newborn. I'll usually bring whatever hot drink the mum prefers and some pastries and we have a chat. I also didn't receive or expect gifts from everyone who met my 3 DC as newborns

I think this is my first time saying this on MN, but you sound grabby and entitled. You are one of those people who give with expectations of getting back, as you do it so you expect others to return the favour. A rather vulgar character trait imo.

I would ask the mum if she or baby needed anything before visiting them. I would also offer to watch their little one so that they can get a shower/housework/sleep or something else that will help her. And normally I would prepare an extra serving or two of something I was cooking so that she can freeze it for an easy dinner one evening. But I wouldn't actually take a gift without asking first. My friend is having a baby soon and she asked me if I could knit her baby a blanket or cardigan and offered to pay me for it so I said that I would knit it for her and she could have it as her baby welcoming gift as I didn't feel comfortable charging her for something that I enjoyed doing.

This is surely a joke?

I always do it too but I’m good with presents. Not everyone does, I wouldn’t take it personally.

You 'let' her meet your newborn? Crikey. You sound like the kind of person who gets offended if people don't want to hold your baby. Although I'm guessing they wouldn't be allowed to without producing a gift first.

freckles978 says on page 8 of course she doesn’t expect a gift for anything, perhaps overlooking title of her post “AIBU to expect a gift” 🤣

I always give a gift for a newborn. Everyone in my circle does even if it’s a few vests from primark.

If I'm going to see a new baby then yes, I would take a gift. I have voted YABU though for expecting one.

I wish you congratulations on your new born. Lovely for you. But please remember, the reality is that people are not that interested. I can't help wonder where you get such a sense of entitlement. You are lucky that demesne took time out of their day to visit. Very lucky. Many new mums can get very isolated and you need to be careful that they don't pick up a negative vibe which could drive them away.

As someone whose friends dropped off the radar when my daughter was born, I didn’t expect presents. I just wanted friendship. Someone to talk to, have a coffee, to stand by me. My baby has what she needs from me and her dad. Presents are lovely and I too would buy something but I never expect. I’ve also had hard Financial times where it’s been difficult to spend much or anything on others so I never ever expect.