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AIBU?

To have never met/ said hello to my in laws?

294 replies

AndTheSurveySays · 09/07/2023 23:25

Basically in 15 years of being with DH
I have never met nor appeared on video chat with my family in law (I did actually appear once on video chat and literally said 'hello' to his mother then disappeared. They've also witnessed me trying to pass by without being noticed, walking on my knees).
It hasn't been a problem, when they've asked to see me DH has always made some excuse but lately his siblings keep pestering him to put me on chat or at least share a photo. I've refused so far.

DH is now saying it's time I should just speak to them to stop his siblings from messaging about it so often. I really don't want to. I hate appearing on film and would have no idea what to say. I feel the fact it's gone on so long just makes it seem even weirder to suddenly decide to talk to them.

AIBU?

OP posts:
WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 10/07/2023 03:31

AndTheSurveySays · 10/07/2023 01:42

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter I really appreciate your reply, I feel you understand my perspective. I do think you're right that it may get easier the more I interact.



Your DH has been saying your just shy, busy/not home
for the past 15 years?
Thatโ€™s so weird

Yes. Until you see it written down it doesn't seem so odd.

@AndTheSurveySays thank you and I really hope this is real. It wouldn't be the first time that I've poured my heart out and fallen for a hoax.

Whether it is or not, and people think you are batshit or not, it does actually happen.

My post was from the heart trying to help.

I'll probably end up looking the fool again!

TulipCat · 10/07/2023 03:32

Sometimes I come on to MN and wonder how on earth some people function on a daily basis. It's like a parallel universe.

fancreek · 10/07/2023 03:39

I'm going to be weirdly sad when this one goes!

isthisapieceofyourbrain · 10/07/2023 03:51

Oh please do say hello. Just wave to them all. No need to do individual hellos. Ask them when they're coming visit and say it would be lovely to meet them properly. Keep it short and simple.

Perhaps hold your child if that makes you feel more comfortable. You can then say you need to shoot off to take child to toilet/bed/dinner

They will think you don't like them otherwise. For the sake of your husband and children make the effort.

So funny they saw you crawling on your hands and knees... priceless Grin

BathroomOnTheRight · 10/07/2023 03:58

So his parents never even attended your wedding? The whole thing sounds so bizarre. How do you get married, and not even meet your husband's parents, even once, in person, for over 15 years? How do you even get married and not have his parents there. They must have felt so hurt.

jacckandsalllly · 10/07/2023 04:02

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 10/07/2023 04:09

I'm guessing I'm a gullible twat by the general consensus ๐Ÿ™„. Most likely.

TMess · 10/07/2023 04:11

This cannot possibly be real. My ILs live in the absolute dead center of nowhere on the other side of the world to me, and I didnโ€™t meet them until DH and I were married with children, but they certainly wouldโ€™ve been more than mildly politely inquisitive had he been acting like I was a figment of his imagination for the past FIFTEEN YEARS.

ahunf · 10/07/2023 04:18

Has he not seen them in 15 years? Why has he not visited? Have his family not come over? If his siblings are curious about you you would think they would fly over.

moleeye · 10/07/2023 04:24

Lol, surely this is an absolute wind up ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ™Š

Hibiscrubbed · 10/07/2023 05:22

AndTheSurveySays · 10/07/2023 02:05

maybe start out by shouting EXTERMINATE at the screen. baby steps

Can you articulate what you find so amusing about people meeting via a fan club? People use tinder etc so what's wrong with meeting through a mutal intrest?

OP, what do you do for work?

Rafting2022 · 10/07/2023 05:22

โ€œOnline via a Dr Who fan club, he was Davros and I was a Dalekโ€

Please say you got married in character!

ChittyBangabang · 10/07/2023 05:33

MouseSculptureMadeOfOldHairbrushFluff · 10/07/2023 01:54

maybe start out by shouting EXTERMINATE at the screen. baby steps.

Smile
Alstoybarn · 10/07/2023 05:34

MysteryBelle · 10/07/2023 03:24

What, the walking on her knees and getting caught? Me too ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Well it was the knees but the getting caught solidified it ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚fucking hell ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Alstoybarn · 10/07/2023 05:36

TMess · 10/07/2023 04:11

This cannot possibly be real. My ILs live in the absolute dead center of nowhere on the other side of the world to me, and I didnโ€™t meet them until DH and I were married with children, but they certainly wouldโ€™ve been more than mildly politely inquisitive had he been acting like I was a figment of his imagination for the past FIFTEEN YEARS.

Did you ever walk on your knees tho?

Alstoybarn · 10/07/2023 05:37

Fucks sake I regret coming back to this now, I've just squeeled and woke my baby ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/07/2023 05:37

Everything you say is making it all about you. You donโ€™t like being on video call. You donโ€™t do well in hot countries.

What about them? They actually do sound lovely to still want to meet and / or talk to you after all this time.

And what about your dd? You owe it to her to get to know them. A child can never be loved too much. Plus she should know about her culture and roots.

My dh is also from a different country. We go there annually these days. It used to be more until I became too ill.

Seeleyboo · 10/07/2023 05:42

Well this is batshit

ThatFraggle · 10/07/2023 05:45

Have you ever talked on the phone?

You say you don't like video. But a normal phone call isn't video.

To all those saying autism, could you explain a bit more?

TheLadyofShalott1 · 10/07/2023 05:47

tarnishedsilvercolour · 10/07/2023 00:08

I'm just here for the deleted message. ๐Ÿ˜‚

We are now on page 6 and I am amazed that this thread is still here ๐Ÿคฏ

momonpurpose · 10/07/2023 05:58

HeddaGarbled · 09/07/2023 23:28

Yes, you are the most unreasonable of unreasonable people on unreasonable day in unreasonable land.

Yes this is pretty bat s$#it

PermanentTemporary · 10/07/2023 06:15

Well, on the off chance...

In 15 years (nice round number) there will have been a lot of sad and happy events in dh's family. And you haven't thought once about offering sympathy, support, writing to them, finding out how they're doing, celebrating with them?

You're totally focused on yourself. Try thinking of others occasionally. I'm out.

Elderflower14 · 10/07/2023 06:20

Waiting for the deleted message!! ๐Ÿคฃ

berryhol · 10/07/2023 06:22

Are you like this with other new people? Do you think you may have autism?

Bodybop · 10/07/2023 06:23

Dear OP

This is a sign that you should consider an assessment for autism, if you have not done so thus far. The extreme anxiety/ aversion suggests a deeper cause, as does the niche way you met your husband. Maybe even your husband has similar traits and your family in law will be very understanding. Seek an assessment, be guided by specialist therapy suggested by the assessing team. No need to talk to the in-laws right now, figure out what is going on with you first

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