Self-catering holiday: an oxymoron

[RumAndReisling]

Whose idea was the self-catering holiday?

I am ‘fortunate’ to have access to a holiday cottage. We go every year.

But… there are no restaurants. So I have to produce three meals a day - more, as I have young children. Snacks.

If I don’t produce the meals, no one else will. Sandwiches for every meal.

Sometimes I go on strike and will refuse.
But then… I’ll go to make a piece of toast and DH will appear ‘oh I’d love a sandwich too’.

The entire holiday then revolves around planning, shopping, food preparation and washing up. Or I’m pissed off because I’m hungry but if I try to feed myself I’ll end up
having to produce food for others. Every morning starts with having to tidy the house and kitchen - normally a weekend-only activity.

The most irritating part of this is that I work full time - so normally I am at most responsible for one meal a day.

I cannot be the only person who feels this way. I want to eat three meals a day in restaurants and pay someone else to wash up.

What did your husband say when you discussed this frustration with him?

Your problem is not self catering holidays. It’s your lazy arse husband who doesn’t do 50% of the snack and meal making.

Your husband has to do at least half the food prep of you dont go. Or simply refuse to make the sandwich for him. It's you who gives in and does it

@AppleKatie

’We can just eat sandwiches’.

TBH even if he did 50% of it, that’s still too much catering when I’m supposed to be on holiday.

I don’t want to prepare and wash up any meals on holiday. One a day feels annoying.

Problem 1 your husband
Problem 2 your location. You are in a holiday cottage and there are NO café, delivery places or restaurants nearby? Don’t you go on outings, trips to popular attractions nearby and can have lunch and snacks there? Or stay and have dinner?

i would refuse to cater for every meal on holidays.

Sounds lile a problem. In your family and nothing to do with self catering holidays.

We love them. Last year my husband got local crabs, we went to a Chinese takeaway, we made regular food, we had a ready meal, we visited a food festival, we walked into town and they had pasties etc etc.

Hubby and I share the chores.....although kids are getting older so will no doubt get more involved.

We had a blast and the weather was good too. (Which doesn't always happen).

If I book self catering it’s somewhere there are cafes/restaurants/takeaways around as I rarely cook so I think your frustration is the location of the self catering (and your lazy DH!).

If you can afford to, maybe go somewhere else? Do you have to use this holiday cottage every year?

I’m the complete opposite, I love a self catering holiday, eating out 3 times a day and being tied to hotel breakfast times is the worst part of a holiday with no catering facilities IMO!

That said, I love cooking, I have no DC to worry about and DP pitches in - week cook and clean up together. We also often go away with friends or family so there’s a bigger group to cook/wash up and you often get to sit at least one meal out!

This.
Order in takeaways. Take pre-ptepared and easy meals with you.
Get everyone else to do their own breakfast, lunch, snacks.
Get dh to do the planning of half the provisions.
Make sure there is a dishwasher at your holiday home.

Sometimes I go on strike and will refuse.
But then… I’ll go to make a piece of toast and DH will appear ‘oh I’d love a sandwich too’.

So going on strike meant you made your husband as soon as he mentioned he'd like one? Why wasn't your response to him "oh, well I'll be out of the way as soon as I've buttered my toast, go ahead"

That’s awful. I think you have to put your foot down and say you as in you the individual want a holiday, not just a transference of your housekeeping responsibilities to another (probably less convenient) location.

I used to love self catering because we had a much bigger environment than just a hotel bedroom or even suite. I preferred to make or go out for breakfast (hâte those hotel buffets), quite often had a snack lunch in the apartment as well. Then out for dinner, or sometimes buy in deli food if knackered from sightseeing

But that was a holiday . You are describing a job.

Other people like the freedom of sc holidays. I'm not sure it's great to be feeling so resentful about feeding your children or wanting to feed yourself but not your children. Book something else next year or get this sorted with your partner better. Sounds miserable.

No idea whose idea it was, but my mum would agree 100% with you!

Hotels are not for everyone, for various reasons, though.

I’ll go to make a piece of toast and DH will appear ‘oh I’d love a sandwich too’.

“ham is in the fridge” is the only response you need to that.

i get what you are saying but it doesn’t need to be like that. Plan well, bring lots of preprepped stuff for snacks and easy/ ready meal dinners. Get your dh to do half. Or do it all but put your dh in charge of all tidying.

Assuming you sort the rubbish DH issue separately, what about Cooks meals for the week?

@Doidontimmm yes the location doesn’t help - no takeaways or restaurants within a sensible distance.

@LiloP yes we could afford to do something else, I think that’s part of the annoyance actually.

as I suspected you have a DH problem.

’we’ll just have sandwiches’ ok great darling, that sounds very easy I’ll leave you to do the shopping and prep for the first meals then, what’s your plan for a proper dinner for the children after that? I assume you know they can’t eat sandwiches 3x a day for a week?

Sounds like a "same shit, different location" situation. Everyone gets a holiday but you!

I agree, why do you even go when there is nowhere to eat out? Where is this place?!

I just wouldn't go, or pay for a week in a caravan in a touristy seaside town and have a mix of eating out/picnics/fish & chips/easy to cook.meals like we do

I love self catering holidays as I hate having to eat out for all meals, I like a combination of a few meal out, some in. I will probably for our sc holiday this summer have meal prepped a few dishes before hand so don't have to cook every night. I tend to do all the cooking because I enjoy it but the cleaning up is my DH job because we share the tasks, as others have said your DH is the issue not self catering holidays.

Also where are you that there is no where to eat?! If you have a car can you not drive somewhere, even if it's just fish and chips by the sea?

Why do you keep staying at places where there’s apparently nowhere within driving distance that you can get a meal, then? Don’t you have days out or anything while you’re there? Or are you all just sitting in the cottage for seven days?

Aren’t there takeaways who will deliver? People I know who live in remote places typically have at least one or two places that will deliver.

Take some meals from Cook with you.

If you drive, can you not drive somewhere, or eat out when you go on days out?

1. Go somewhere else. I can thoroughly recommend hotels, though I know they can be awkward with kids. If it's not a hotel time of life, choose a different place.

1. Send your dh and the kids on their own to this cottage and have a few days relaxing at home yourself.

1. Ask your parents/in-laws to take the kids for a long weekend to the cottage and have a few days at home with your dh.