Self-catering holiday: an oxymoron

[RumAndReisling]

Whose idea was the self-catering holiday?

I am ‘fortunate’ to have access to a holiday cottage. We go every year.

But… there are no restaurants. So I have to produce three meals a day - more, as I have young children. Snacks.

If I don’t produce the meals, no one else will. Sandwiches for every meal.

Sometimes I go on strike and will refuse.
But then… I’ll go to make a piece of toast and DH will appear ‘oh I’d love a sandwich too’.

The entire holiday then revolves around planning, shopping, food preparation and washing up. Or I’m pissed off because I’m hungry but if I try to feed myself I’ll end up
having to produce food for others. Every morning starts with having to tidy the house and kitchen - normally a weekend-only activity.

The most irritating part of this is that I work full time - so normally I am at most responsible for one meal a day.

I cannot be the only person who feels this way. I want to eat three meals a day in restaurants and pay someone else to wash up.

@Happydays321 I'm guessing there is a dishwasher

if there wasn't, i think OP would have added it to her list if reasons why she doesn't like staying in this house

In that case I think your only option is to not go there- I don’t know what more anyone can say?

OP, another suggestion would be to freeze "dump bags" for a slow cooker. You'll find recipes online. You mix ingredients in a bag, freeze them, defrost, bung it all in slow cooker. No food prep. No effort

I find sc holidays more relaxing than hotels and like the combination of sorting our own food and going out for meals. The other day I stayed in a Premier Inn with DD(16) and we went out to get breakfast. We must have looked in about 6 (perfectly acceptable) cafes before she found one she thought she liked something on the menu. I couldn't be dealing with that for every meal!
However - DH loves cooking and probably does majority of it on holiday, and plans meals and goes shopping.

• I choose holiday places based on how near to pubs, restaurants etc they are
• I do far less cleaning, no ironing and less tidying on holiday.

I also like camping and I don't do any cooking at all - DH does all camp cooking and were both fine with that arrangement.

Quite!

You don't have to go on this holiday, and it doesn't sound like much of a holiday for you OP, given your DH appears to be unable or unwilling to do his share.

Tell him he can do all the housework and chores, or you aren't going. I bet you would have a lovely time at home alone for a week.

The last time we stayed in a holiday cottage we drove to a big M and S food shop connected to a petrol station with all the other tourists and just bought tasty ready made stuff we could bung in the oven every day.

Ate out a few days, too.

If it's very isolated you must drive to places for days out etc. These places must have cafes restaurants or takeaways.

I love self catering but we eat out a lot and I like having multiple bedrooms and a living space (we have 3DC) and washing facilities. And the kids enjoy going to the supermarket in foreign countries (you could freshly sqeeze your own orange juice in the Carrefour in Malaga!) And I like being able to cook something simple we all like once a day rather than eating out all the time.

@RumAndReisling your trouble is a) a holiday cottage where there are limited eating out options and b) a useless DH.

I think I'd get a delivery of Cook meals, and have some takeaways while I was there. Breakfast isn't so hard to do, and you (OR HUSBAND!) could make sandwiches for lunch.

My response to "I fancy a sandwich" would be "you know where everything is, knock yourself out".

We go to our parents summer cottage abroad every year. No electricity and cold water only. We bbq most day. We do trips and eat out on those days. No stress.

You can stay in an Airbnb and eat out you know.

Making a bed takes seconds!

We stay in Airbnb's all the time. Love having all the space and a proper sofa to sit on in the evening. Can't be doing with just a hotel room and having to sit in an uncomfortable chair or on the bed.

Also don't want to be told what time we can eat breakfast.

We can cook if we want to or eat out. What's not to like?

"I'd love a sandwich too"
Feel free to make one 🤷‍♀️
You are not a slave. You don't have to cater to your husbands whims and wishes while he sits on his arse.

I don’t ‘cater to my husbands whims and wishes while he sits on his arse’.

Some people aren’t very interested in food. He wouldn’t think to organise meals throughout the day - he’d happily just eat sandwiches. This is annoying, yes. He can go hours and hours without eating. This is irritating yes.

Even if DH was doing 80% of the work, I would still take issue with self-catering because I do not want to spend my leisure time planning, buying, making or cleaning up meals. Particularly when I’m actually having to do it more than I would when at work.

So why don't you alternate holidays?

If you want a nice AI with lovely food I can highly recommend Seaside Los Jameos at Lanzarote.

You surely have some choice in this.

Do you not go anywhere other than this holiday home for the whole holiday? You just stay in for the whole time?

Surely you visit places and they have cafes / shops?

I'd throw money at the problem. Disposable plates / cups / cutlery. Easy cook meals (pot of pesto pasta, shop bought pizzas and salad, picnic bits, ready meals as cheap or as decent as you like, buy the sides like rice and salad leaves in packets etc...) Cereal and toast for breakfast. Rolls, crisps, fruit for lunch. Make a few days worth of rolls at a time.

It's doesn't have to be elaborate and if you can suck up the costs you can pay for a bit more convenience.

Ok, so yeah, this “holiday “ sounds shit.

So why do you keep going? DH can go if he enjoys it.

I agree, when the kids were smaller we’d often go on holidays to a caravan and I’d find I just could not do it! Ny now exDH had to go to the shops to buy the food and prepare it all. I could just about prepare a bit of salad but I was all out of energy, I can’t explain it, my brain said no this is not a holiday.
It’s not so bad if you’re somewhere where you don’t have to cater for every meal though.
When the kids were babies, I preferred not to go anywhere as it was worse than being at home as I didn’t have ‘my’ stuff.
If you’re able to, make sure you have a holiday not at the family cottage.

You seem very angry OP, and I'm not sure what you want from this thread.
do you want us just to say yes it sounds rubbish, when the reality is you have many other options to either make it less rubbish or do something different by paying for a holiday which is generally what most people do.

So what are you going to do about it OP?

What happened when you were making the toast and he said he'd love a sandwich then?

We always go self catering. It's just what suits some people. Some people like eating at the same place every night. We want to try different restaurants. Self catering doesn't mean you have to cook every night though obviously you can cook some meals if you want to. It just means you have a choice of where and when you eat.

People mean a couple of hours for the whole week, not each day. Surely you're not in the cottage the whole time? When we go self-catering, we go out during the day and we'll have lunch in a restaurant/cafe then. Evening meal can therefore be less preparation and we only ever stay in places with dishwashers so no washing up.

If your SC holiday isn't a holiday, you're doing it wrong, but you know that.

So why did you not speak up the first time and say 'Im not going to the cottage in the middle of nowhere again'.

If you ate out, had a dishwasher, had easy food, your DH did half of what needs doing and stopped doing unnecessary housework like cleaning bathrooms, because if it's clean at the start of the week and it's going to be cleaned by the cleaners after you leave, nothing else needs doing, then it would be a completely different experience.

That's what people are so frustrated with your posts, you're acting like you have no choice about going on this holiday or the sharing of the work required when you do. So stop choosing to go on a holiday you hate and stop choosing to do all the work while you're there.

I love our self catering holidays.

I sort out the dinners (usually take a couple of meals I've already made and frozen so just need to cook pasta or rice, pizza, burgers and we go out a couple of times)

Dh and dc sort out breakfast and lunches.

Everyone cleans.

In your position, I'd refuse to go.

What is the appeal of the location?