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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would this stop you from dating someone/ give the ick?

281 replies

Rossannah · 08/07/2023 22:04

Sorry for the title, I didn't know how else to word it. I'm 38, single and have late primary aged children.

I know this guy, have known him for a while and last night at an event got chatting. Prior to this, I knew very little about him, just to say hi.
After we got chatting, I realised I was very attracted to him, he's not my usual type physically but is really nice looking, funny and completely different to my previous preconceptions about him.
We flirted all night and he asked if we could go out just the two of us (a date?!) We have texted all day, very flirty and I was really looking forward to it.
I facebooked him.
His profile is kind of semi private, there is info there.

He is 33.
There is a profile picture of children, 6 of them, they look aged between 2 and 14, it was uploaded in March. Don't know if it's old or not.
He has an new photo uploaded 2 weeks ago. Of a new baby. Brand new.
From the comments and further digging, this is his grandchild, born 3 weeks ago.
We have not talked specifics about children other than, yes we have them.
I don't know why but it has knocked me right off him. I don't know now if the youngest (2year old) in the profile photo is his child or grandchild. I don't know how many children are his, how many mums etc. It just looks so chaotic now and not something I want to get involved with. But I really like him. I'm pretending to be asleep so I don't have to answer him but we were supposed to be going for Sunday lunch tomorrow
Would this put you off a person?

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 08/07/2023 22:06

I would meet him and ask

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 08/07/2023 22:09

Is 33 a typo? Because it would be really odd if he had a grandchild at this age.

AnnoyedByAlfieBear · 08/07/2023 22:10

Are you sure he's 33 and not lying about his age?

Eenymeanymineymo · 08/07/2023 22:10

Grandchild? At age 33? And 6 children? By 33? None of that sounds enticing.

SilkTrees · 08/07/2023 22:11

I think you need to make sure of your information. You seem to be basing a lot on a single photograph and pure speculation about whether these six children are his, and how many mothers are involved.

Alami · 08/07/2023 22:12

He had his first child at 19, and now his 14 year old has a child? Yikes.

Comedycook · 08/07/2023 22:13

I'd go on the date, find out his situation and then make a decision.

Comedycook · 08/07/2023 22:14

Maybe the baby is a niece or nephew?

Arrgghhdecisions · 08/07/2023 22:15

Just go and find out some more. A date isn't a marriage commitment. It's perfectly OK to date and decide It's a no. Slightly less OK to judge purely based on Facebook stalking.
Plus, you get a sunday lunch.

cocksstrideintheevening · 08/07/2023 22:15

Is your maths right? If it is yes I would be put off.

VioletPickles · 08/07/2023 22:16

Just ask him? Could be nieces or nephews etc?

Peppermint81 · 08/07/2023 22:16

Children could be his nephews and nieces?!
Your making a lot of assumptions.
Meet him and hear his story - give it a chance

SleeplessinScarbourough · 08/07/2023 22:18

People put all sorts of made up details on their Facebook so don’t base the decision on that. As for him as a person, you know how you felt about him before this information. If it is true it doesn’t make him a biohazard. You would need to know the facts to decide. Go on the date.

Bemyclementine · 08/07/2023 22:19

Go on the date, and talk. Ask about his kids.

Original poster
Rossannah · 08/07/2023 22:19

He is definitely 33, there are photos from his 30th birthday.
The baby is definitely his grandchild.
The parent of the baby is 15/16, although I am unsure if that is his first or second born, he was obviously the same age when he had his first.

OP posts:
Curseofthenation · 08/07/2023 22:19

I would go and find out on the date. If it's true then I would run for the hills.

Ponderingwindow · 08/07/2023 22:20

If you have the details correct, I wouldn’t foresee any kind of future. Our values and life goals would just be too different.

3BSHKATS · 08/07/2023 22:20

Any children under the age of 10 puts me right off, but you need more information from the horses mouth.

Curseofthenation · 08/07/2023 22:20

Yikes. Cross posted. Ditch him...that shit sounds messy.

MWNA · 08/07/2023 22:20

Rossannah · 08/07/2023 22:19

He is definitely 33, there are photos from his 30th birthday.
The baby is definitely his grandchild.
The parent of the baby is 15/16, although I am unsure if that is his first or second born, he was obviously the same age when he had his first.

Christ no thanks! How hugely ick.

3BSHKATS · 08/07/2023 22:20

Rossannah · 08/07/2023 22:19

He is definitely 33, there are photos from his 30th birthday.
The baby is definitely his grandchild.
The parent of the baby is 15/16, although I am unsure if that is his first or second born, he was obviously the same age when he had his first.

Er no then. I wouldnt get into that. What a mess

Rabbitsandgerbils · 08/07/2023 22:21

You are cautious with good reason as you are naturally trying to protect yourself and your children from chaos and instability, but you don’t know his actual situation without asking him directly.

You like him so far, so why not let him tell you his situation himself over Sunday lunch and you can make your own mind up once you have all the facts…?

Backstreets · 08/07/2023 22:21

He looked at the population decline and said not on my watch

Not impossible, I knew a man like this. Used to be married to an acquaintance. Think he’s on wife three now? Four? He’s still not turned forty. And yes, a granddad.

Think you should go on the date though, you might have misunderstood, and if not might be fun having him outline the family tree

Thepossibility · 08/07/2023 22:22

If you looked at my FB you might think I have 6 children due to niece and nephews. They look similar to my own as well come to think of it.
Were there any captions on the photos?

Hotpinkangel19 · 08/07/2023 22:22

Ponderingwindow · 08/07/2023 22:20

If you have the details correct, I wouldn’t foresee any kind of future. Our values and life goals would just be too different.

Values? Pregnancy happens.