To think that the majority of women would leave their DH/DP

[NoLeaveIt]

…. If they could have the same standard of living and home without them.

I’m interested to see what proportion of MNetters are actually happy with their lives with their partners rather than just trapped by practicalities of life and finances.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum
"It's very easy to find a relationship that is great 10% of the time if you get lonely again in the future!"

You make a good point. I hadn't thought about it like that before. As with all of these things, though, it's never just black and white.

Our house would be a lot tidier without my husband in it but it would also be a sadder place!
We're very happy and content in each other's company and we can see ourselves growing old together. We've been married for 9 years and together for 13 years. We love and understand each other more than we did when we first got married. Relationships shouldn't be stressful.

I agree. There are ways to tell if a man is a possible keeper. How h3 treats his mother is one of them. If he’s nice and respectful to her he probably will be to you. And check out his mates carefully. I went out with a guy whose mates were a bunch of immature wankers who didn’t really like women very much.

Thirding this.

I’m making notes…😁

Fourthing it!

Ive seen so many posts on here about early dating with massive red flags and people tell the OP theyre warning signs but they dont want to believe it. When you are emotionally attached to someone its easy to explain away the red flags but just because you dont want to see them, doesnt mean the signs arent there.

eg:

1. Being rude to those below them in jobs or servers etc
2. Exhibiting uncontrolled jealousy or possessiveness
3. laziness, not wanting to work- asking to borrow money and never paying it back
4. being irresponsible with money
5. calling ALL their exes "psychos"
6. not speaking to loads of people in their family and having beef with multiple friends too- they seem to have issues with everyone
7. calling women names like "sluts" or that they "deserve" to be attacked due to the way they dress
8. Treating their mothers/sisters like crap as a PP has said
9. Having kids with their ex but not contributing to their maintenance payments or not spending any time with them
10. Not being able to control their anger- punching walls, having outbursts, easily inflamed by even tiny events
11. love bombing, pressuring to move in together after only a month of dating
12. cheating on you early on
13. Using prostitutes
14. Addictions
15. badmouthing your family, not wanting you to spend time with friends

I could go on and on lol but there are certainly a lot of signs if you look for them

YABU to think THE MAJORITY of women would walk.

But there's definitely a proprortion who'd walk, and I am one of them. Happily walked away to get my own place and I do nor regret it.

aww @KimberleyClark thank you.

yes how he treats and talks about his mother when she's not there.

If he has his own space then is it clean and tidy? Can / does he cook? If he lives at home who does that stuff. In the bf phase does he cook you a dinner and HELP CLEAR IT UP?

I think the 37% that have voted YANBU is properly pretty representative based on divorce rates which obviously not instigated wholly by women. There will be a lot of women who stay due to financial reasons and not wanting to break the family rather then because they are still madly in love with their partner. A lot of men stay too I would imagine for the family reason.

A lot change after children as well - a lot of domestic abuse, particularly financial abuse, starts in pregnancy doesn’t it? Once they have you trapped.