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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the majority of women would leave their DH/DP

460 replies

NoLeaveIt · 07/07/2023 23:47

…. If they could have the same standard of living and home without them.

I’m interested to see what proportion of MNetters are actually happy with their lives with their partners rather than just trapped by practicalities of life and finances.

OP posts:
StefanosHill · 09/07/2023 18:33

I wouldn’t

Inkpotlover · 09/07/2023 18:36

Definitely not. He's brilliant and I can't imagine not being with him. The idea of being single again leaves me cold!

Butterlover1 · 09/07/2023 18:38

Nope, DH and I are great together

SeanDanielorBalonz · 09/07/2023 18:39

Good god no, I'm not parenting these troll children alone

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 09/07/2023 18:41

No I would it! He’s my best friend who will do anything for me (and likewise) no way in hell would we be without one another! Took us far too long to find one another in the first place 😂

Hankunamatata · 09/07/2023 18:42

badluckorbadvibes · 07/07/2023 23:51

I could have the same standard of living without him. I quite like him though.

This

Hankunamatata · 09/07/2023 18:43

SeanDanielorBalonz · 09/07/2023 18:39

Good god no, I'm not parenting these troll children alone

This one too 😂

JudgeAnderson · 09/07/2023 18:43

No way. My DH is my best friend and the love of my life.

Purplepeaches123 · 09/07/2023 18:44

Leastsaidsoonestscrewed · 09/07/2023 17:53

Well I wouldn't last long in a 'joined at the hip, we do everything together' one, so, 🤔

Show quote history

That’s exactly what I was saying, you obviously didn’t read the post I was replying to.

graysquirrel · 09/07/2023 18:45

No way. My DH and I are both sort of equal with work/finances, could practically live separately but I very much love him still. We were friends for years before getting together (after my horrid first marriage) and I love my life with him and our DDs.
We are free to have friends/hobbies/time away but actually enjoy each others company. My neighbour always comments about how lovely it is that she hears us laughing together (altho worried what else she hears 😂)

MsCactus · 09/07/2023 18:46

I adore my DH! So no way. My financial life also probs wouldn't suffer if I did as I'm a high earner too

JudgeAnderson · 09/07/2023 18:47

Oh and someone said earlier about going off them in your forties. Nope - nearing 50, hormones going shonky and I still adore him. I mean I have my moments of eye-rolling because no human on earth isn't occassionally annoying but we're twenty years in and it feels almost like no time at all.

Mountainpika · 09/07/2023 18:48

Been together over 50 years. No way would either of us leave the other.

Toooldtoworry · 09/07/2023 18:48

Interesting. I earn more than my DH. I'd be much better off financially alone in the home we own, but he's my bestie so no I'll keep him thanks.

vinoinveritas · 09/07/2023 18:49

yep, trapped with him & 2 teenagers who aren’t far off exams

Mrsgreen100 · 09/07/2023 18:53

Got rid of my partner of 30 years just in time
turns out he was stealing from me for over 20
years , I stayed because he kept telling me he loved me , and we had a child I felt guilty for not being happier with him , he was moody always depressed etc etc
turns out he had a whole other life , and was a cheat and a narcissist,
wish I’d got out years ago, my life is mine now
he wasn’t contributing at all turns out ( he was doing my company accounting) and even stole from our daughter.
viva single

TeddyFluff · 09/07/2023 18:54

No. Sure he drives me crackers at times leaving his stuff everywhere but I love him, we make a good team and we are happy.

yes marriage takes work but it’s worth it.

DVL · 09/07/2023 18:54

Been with my fiancé almost 7 years and we are still best friends…life would not be the same without him.

Anklespraying · 09/07/2023 18:57

The polling shows a third would leave. So one in three.

I'm not really surprised at that.

thefamous5 · 09/07/2023 19:01

No.

I love my husband. That's why I married him.

He makes me laugh, smile, brings me so
much happiness.

DetectiveDouche · 09/07/2023 19:04

Nope I both love and like my DH. We have no kids at home now.. and every other weekend when he’s off, I really look forward to spending quality time with him, whether at home chilling or out and about.. or even just having a wingman for my Sunday cleaning. He makes me laugh and we really enjoy each others company.

Plus, he doesn’t earn mega bucks… neither of us do but I earn slightly more than he does. Everything we spend beyond the basics (eg holidays) are a joint effort. I’m not with him for the money at all.

BounceyB · 09/07/2023 19:05

I did leave. My standard of living has changed but my personal happiness has increased.

follygirl · 09/07/2023 19:05

No way, he is my best friend as well as my husband. I couldn't imagine a life without him.

May9322 · 09/07/2023 19:07

I wonder if you meant ‘would you leave if you’re unhappy/marriage has broken down’? I’m thinking many women may feel trapped as they’re standard of living would reduce significantly? Or potentially leaving seems impossible to them if they don’t have the financial means.

I echo the comments about my husband, he’s my best friend and I’d miss him terribly! But we have a very good marriage. However, if you meant if things weren’t great, I’d absolutely leave regardless of money because I’m at the point in my life where happiness means more than items. I also share a daughter with my husband so her happiness and being role models is a priority to us - we both wouldn’t want her seeing an unhappy marriage for the sake of a bigger house and holidays.

I am however fortunately in a position where my husband is bloody fantastic and I’m eternally grateful for him.

restingbitchface30 · 09/07/2023 19:07

Nope. He drives me nuts but my life would be shitter without him. Plus I would make sure I would have the same standard of living without him if I was truly miserable! I’m not living in 1920!