Page 8 | To refuse to cook?

BumbleBee2023 · 2023-07-07T13:11:48+00:00

Probably a really petty AIBU for a Friday afternoon but hey ho! My MIL comes round most days for dinner, She'll happily eat whatever DH cooks but when I cook for her I get constant complaints. "You haven't used enough salt." "I don't like eating that anymore. It doesn't taste the same these days." Etc. The other day I cooked a big roast dinner and used plenty of salt and pepper as I knew she'd complain.. for her not to even eat it. Just looked at it and told me there wasn't enough salt and threw it in the bin in front of me! I've told DH I'm no longer cooking for her as I find it rude & a waste of food. AIBU? To just not dish her any food up and eat my meal in front of her?

Tigermearns · 08/07/2023 12:16

BumbleBee2023 · 08/07/2023 11:37

Well she came over yesterday.
I didn't plate her any food. Just sat at the table with dc and ate my own.
She had the cheek to complain to DH who told her that she was rude the other day about my cooking and I don't want to cook for her if she's like that.
She grumbled and moaned about it, and then plated herself some that was left over (small toddler portion) and ate it and didn't say a word.

I just can't win.

That is a win.
She clearly thought he'd have ago at you and it didn't work.
He told her, she got some food and ate it.
That is a massive win!

Neekoh · 08/07/2023 12:20

GimmeSleep · 07/07/2023 15:06

I would cook everyone else something, then when MIL said something point her in the direction of the toaster.

I know I'm early on in the thread but THIS.

Or alternatively...

I'd serve her a plate as usual and as soon as she makes the first comment I'd take the plate away - 'Oh I am sorry. As it's not to your liking there's absolutely no need to finish it.'

Then direct her to the bread and toaster.

Every time. What a rude woman.

Now to RTFT.

VeganStar · 08/07/2023 12:20

huntingcunting · 07/07/2023 15:28

So unbelievably rude. What was stopping her just adding some salt and pepper to the food if it wasn't salty enough for her?
Ridiculous woman.
And why should you put everyone else's health at risk by shoving loads of salt into the food - especially as she's eating there most nights.

I would absolutely refuse to cook for her. DH can cook. Or she eats at home.
MIL, going forwards, I won't be providing meals for you any more as you aren't happy with my cooking and I don't want to put my family's health at risk with too much salt and I also object to people throwing perfectly good food in the bin. So you'll need to eat at home in future or you're welcome to make yourself some toast here if you'd prefer.

I wouldn’t even explain anything to her. I’d cook food ,dish up to everyone but her and if she asks where hers was I’d simply say I’m not cooking for you ever again. If you’re hungry cook your own.

LondonUSAGirl · 08/07/2023 12:21

She doesn't hate your food.
She hates YOU.

Neekoh · 08/07/2023 12:22

Ohhh just read the last page.

As pp said, that definitely is a win. Just do that every time you cook - don't serve her any, ever. And if she keeps making comments, start making sure there's nothing left for her to help herself to.

NowItsLikeSnowAtTheBeach · 08/07/2023 12:25

She wouldn't be allowed in my house for a meal again. Nasty behaviour.

Your DH should have immediately shown her the door.

willWillSmithsmith · 08/07/2023 12:29

LaylaLjungberg · 07/07/2023 14:39

Be brave. Stand up for yourself and just ask her what her problem is.

Do this. Just because she’s your mil no need to be deferring to her as someone superior to you. She’s a rude cow and her status as your mil means nothing. Tell her off like the naughty child she is!

Knittedfairies · 08/07/2023 12:29

That sounds like a win to me too. Just make sure there isn't even a toddler-sized portion left over next time.

2catsandhappy · 08/07/2023 12:35

Definite win!
Stick to your guns @BumbleBee2023
Keep doing the exact thing again. Dmil will complain to your dh, he can say, 'Mum, you owe bumble an apology for your remarks and rudeness.

Ohidontbloodyknow · 08/07/2023 12:42

What is it about people of a certain generation smothering everything in salt. My parents do this, even if there’s plenty of salt in the meal.

That being said, neither they nor in laws would behave like this or they would get boot up bottom in direction of door.

Milcar · 08/07/2023 12:47

Yes, dish for everyone else, and tell her she's welcome to help herself, if she chooses. Or can cook for herself when she goes home, if she doesn't like your cooking. But not to dish herself food she will throw away, as you don't like waste given the cost of living situation.

Original poster

BumbleBee2023 · 08/07/2023 12:48

LondonUSAGirl · 08/07/2023 12:21

She doesn't hate your food.
She hates YOU.

I'm pretty sure she hates me without a doubt.

OP posts:

Original poster

BumbleBee2023 · 08/07/2023 12:50

I don't know what the obsession with salt is, she's in her 50s and makes out she's going to die in the next 5-10 years.
Feel like saying to her next time she brings it up, Well no shit Sherlock if you cover everything in salt.
Sorry woke up angry today.

OP posts:

Fraaahnces · 08/07/2023 12:58

Can you get her a salt lick like they give wild deer to survive the winter?

SplendidUtterly · 08/07/2023 13:02

Fraaahnces · 08/07/2023 12:58

Can you get her a salt lick like they give wild deer to survive the winter?

😂

Soubriquet · 08/07/2023 13:03

You won that round OP. Well done. And thank god your dh actually stood up for you too. About time.

Keep doing it you way until she apologies properly, or doesn’t bother to turn up anymore.

Natty13 · 08/07/2023 13:05

BumbleBee2023 · 08/07/2023 11:37

Well she came over yesterday.
I didn't plate her any food. Just sat at the table with dc and ate my own.
She had the cheek to complain to DH who told her that she was rude the other day about my cooking and I don't want to cook for her if she's like that.
She grumbled and moaned about it, and then plated herself some that was left over (small toddler portion) and ate it and didn't say a word.

I just can't win.

I think that is a win to be honest.

Tanith · 08/07/2023 13:09

BumbleBee2023 · 07/07/2023 14:37

Cultural thing. Think I may become an atheist and disown my culture to put a stop to the visits!

Show quote history

Heavens!

Well, my culture says you accept gratefully the food that someone has taken the trouble to cook for you and do your best to eat it.

I'd be surprised to hear of any culture that doesn't have the same basic good manners.

Original poster

BumbleBee2023 · 08/07/2023 13:19

Fraaahnces · 08/07/2023 12:58

Can you get her a salt lick like they give wild deer to survive the winter?

😭😂 that would be a perfect Christmas present!

OP posts:

DisquietintheRanks · 08/07/2023 13:30

BumbleBee2023 · 08/07/2023 11:37

Well she came over yesterday.
I didn't plate her any food. Just sat at the table with dc and ate my own.
She had the cheek to complain to DH who told her that she was rude the other day about my cooking and I don't want to cook for her if she's like that.
She grumbled and moaned about it, and then plated herself some that was left over (small toddler portion) and ate it and didn't say a word.

I just can't win.

I think you just did.

Thegoodbadandugly · 08/07/2023 13:30

That is rude all she has to do is add a little more salt.

Pansypotter123 · 08/07/2023 13:32

I too think you just won! Keep this up - just don't serve her anything you make!

But, I'm intrigued about her cultural background and why she comes every day?

zingally · 08/07/2023 13:37

Time to fight fire with fire. Next time she's over, do a plate for everyone apart from her.
Say nothing, but if she queries it, "the last meal I cooked for you, you put the whole lot in the bin... So...?"

SK20772M · 08/07/2023 13:41

So glad to see you husband put her in her place. Excellent and rightly so!

willWillSmithsmith · 08/07/2023 13:44

BumbleBee2023 · 08/07/2023 12:50

I don't know what the obsession with salt is, she's in her 50s and makes out she's going to die in the next 5-10 years.
Feel like saying to her next time she brings it up, Well no shit Sherlock if you cover everything in salt.
Sorry woke up angry today.

50s? Crikey she’s still young (in my books) to be behaving like that. She hasn’t even got the excuse of being elderly!