Page 12 | To refuse to cook?

Grrrrdarling · 09/07/2023 23:13

BumbleBee2023 · 07/07/2023 14:34

Oh no, he did say "bumblebee this tastes great. One of the best meals you've cooked." Right in front of her.

I was a bit to shocked at the time to say anything. Never had anyone actually throw my cooking away, not even my dc do that!

Show quote history

He said what?! Get him told about his childish pay on the back to you & telling MIL that until she can set a better example to the children & behave like a normal, decent human being around food she isn’t welcome round to eat!!
If she chooses to stay away altogether that is on her not you & if husband doesn’t like it he can go to hers to cook for her & eat there!

Mamanyt · 09/07/2023 23:19

It sounds to me as if she wants her DS to cook for her. ObIige her. Not as much cooking for you.

Freespeech1 · 10/07/2023 00:40

People like this need to be put straight, they don't pay your bills but act like they do. I had to recently put a friend of over 20 years straight for similar behaviour. It's my way or the highway, I work very hard and pay my way in life with no assistance, no one is gonna treat me any way.

Mothership4two · 10/07/2023 00:48

I wouldn't only not cook for her, I wouldn't have her in the house

Michellelovesizzy · 10/07/2023 08:21

I wouldn’t Evan have her round any more she is abusive

Inbetweenie993 · 10/07/2023 10:17

I admit to not having read ALL of this thread, lots of comments, and agree with many - she's horrible and rude etc....

Just one thing though. How old is MIL? Is this the onset of dementia etc.?? My mother was bloody vile at times before diagnosis....

Lucyh999 · 10/07/2023 10:40

BumbleBee2023 · 07/07/2023 14:11

Probably a really petty AIBU for a Friday afternoon but hey ho!

My MIL comes round most days for dinner, She'll happily eat whatever DH cooks but when I cook for her I get constant complaints.
"You haven't used enough salt." "I don't like eating that anymore. It doesn't taste the same these days." Etc.
The other day I cooked a big roast dinner and used plenty of salt and pepper as I knew she'd complain.. for her not to even eat it. Just looked at it and told me there wasn't enough salt and threw it in the bin in front of me!

I've told DH I'm no longer cooking for her as I find it rude & a waste of food.
AIBU? To just not dish her any food up and eat my meal in front of her?

She just put it in the bin in front of you without trying it? Who the f does that?? That is unbelievably rude. I would tell her to leave my house if she did that.

KateKateLee · 10/07/2023 10:48

If she is going to throw it in the bin without even trying it, no YANBU. Just think of those families who can't afford enough to eat and she does that. Just wondering if you've ever tried cooking for her but making it seem like DH cooked to see what the reaction to the food is?

MarrymeJM · 10/07/2023 12:05

IF there is a next time she comes, you could ask her to cook for you all, then bin it front of her. Sometimes these people need a taste of their own medicine .

YerArseInParsley · 10/07/2023 15:50

@BumbleBee2023

Can we have an update please? Has she been round lately? Has she gotten better or still the same?

Next time she is rude that is your opportunity to say I don't want you to come round anymore. You need to grow a backbone. There is no culture that's acceptable to be rude, rude is rude.

Madamum18 · 11/07/2023 06:50

Grrrrdarling · 09/07/2023 23:13

He said what?! Get him told about his childish pay on the back to you & telling MIL that until she can set a better example to the children & behave like a normal, decent human being around food she isn’t welcome round to eat!!
If she chooses to stay away altogether that is on her not you & if husband doesn’t like it he can go to hers to cook for her & eat there!

Show quote history

Eh?? The husband was supporting OP!

BestBeforeddmmyy · 11/07/2023 08:30

She has been rude and nasty. I don’t think your husband should let her in the house until she has apologised to you both. If she only apologises to you, it makes out that you are the one who has been insulted and the spotlight is on you. Your husband need to make it clear that he will not accept you being treated like that either.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/07/2023 10:53

Madamum18 · 11/07/2023 06:50

Eh?? The husband was supporting OP!

Show quote history

Yes, he praised @BumbleBee2023's cooking, in his mother's earshot, @Madamum18, but was that really sufficient support? I think that, as @sparepantsandtoothbrush said, it was passive-aggressive and a bit pathetic. Why didn't he tell his mum that her behaviour was rude and unacceptable, and if she couldn't appreciate the effort that the OP was going to, she could go and eat at her own house! That would be supportive!

Madamum18 · 11/07/2023 11:11

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/07/2023 10:53

Yes, he praised @BumbleBee2023's cooking, in his mother's earshot, @Madamum18, but was that really sufficient support? I think that, as @sparepantsandtoothbrush said, it was passive-aggressive and a bit pathetic. Why didn't he tell his mum that her behaviour was rude and unacceptable, and if she couldn't appreciate the effort that the OP was going to, she could go and eat at her own house! That would be supportive!

Show quote history

I do agree that he should have called his mothers behaviour out, absolutely. But at least he was making some sort of attempt to support her.... needs to be more though!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/07/2023 11:19

Absolutely spot on, @Madamum18.

ellyeth · 14/07/2023 09:19

What sort of culture encourages this sort of controlling behaviour and downright rudeness?

Does your mother in law ever cook for you?

Josiet88 · 16/07/2023 00:26

I would tell her your husband cooked until after she had eaten it, then when she doesn't criticise it cos he 'cooked' it. That way you prove her pettiness, and prove that she can eat your meals, then say so either you try my food going forward, we don't tell you who cooked, or you don't eat here... o