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Original poster

Friends husband is insufferably rude to restaurant staff

160 replies

straling · 05/07/2023 23:09

A new friend's husband is starting to bug me a lot..

We've been out to dinner a few time and also for coffee and he's always nasty to staff.

Examples:

Argued that he had been served a single espresso rather than a double. He thought there was not enough coffee and basically expected a small americano if you ask me, as his coffee seemed fine. He was quite rude and confrontational about it.

Walked into a restaurant, didn't even great the waiters and just said ' turn the aircon on '.. no please or thank you or anything.

Sat at the table and instead of saying ' excuse me ' to get the waiters attention, he just screamed across the room ' yeah HELLLOOO '.

These are just small examples. It's his whole demeanour that has put me off.

I think he may have some sort of issue with social cues. Could you be friends with someone like this ? He's quite polite to my husband and I and I can't imagine him being rude to us, so he clearly knows how to be polite, he just can't be polite to waiters, clearly.

I think it's bad form, but the other part of me thinks that maybe he doesn't realise and isn't good at social cues and it's because of that snd I should be more understanding..

OP posts:
Loyalty · 05/07/2023 23:10

Yeh, I wouldn’t want people to be spitting in my food so wouldn’t go out with him. The kitchen won’t know who the arsehole is that’s ordered which meal.

Lostinplaces · 05/07/2023 23:11

He thinks they’re beneath him. Fuck him off.

ChadCMulligan · 05/07/2023 23:12

I'd apologise to the waiters on his behalf in front of him. If that loses me the friendship then it's a price worth paying

FatNoMoreSue · 05/07/2023 23:13

I hate this. I’d refuse to go out with him again and tell him why.

redfacebigdisgrace · 05/07/2023 23:13

How someone treats people that they don’t have to be nice to says everything about them as a person. Not a nice guy and I wouldn’t go out with them again.

Loyalty · 05/07/2023 23:13

ChadCMulligan · 05/07/2023 23:12

I'd apologise to the waiters on his behalf in front of him. If that loses me the friendship then it's a price worth paying

Yes do this.

ThinWomansBrain · 05/07/2023 23:14

I'd make arrangements to see the friend without her partner - and be clear about why.

ChaToilLeam · 05/07/2023 23:14

I would not go out with him again. Hate rudeness to waiters.

redfacebigdisgrace · 05/07/2023 23:15

My older teen boys work in hospitality in the holidays and it makes me feel sick to think of them having to deal with wankers like this

WhyDoesChocolateTasteSoGood · 05/07/2023 23:16

How does the friend behave when her DH does this? Does she attempt to shh him at all or accepts it?
Id not go out with him again, probably not her either if she feels his behaviour is acceptable.

Upandonward · 05/07/2023 23:17

Isn’t there a saying to watch how potential new partners treat staff in restaurants? I wonder how your new friend is treated behind closed doors.

Vile man and I would not be dining with him again even if it upsets the new friend.

BennyBlancofromtheBronx · 05/07/2023 23:18

He does understand social cues, otherwise he'd be rude to everyone. He knows he's treating these people like shit and doesn't care.

Lullibyebye · 05/07/2023 23:20

You don't want to hang out with someone being rude to waiters. You'll end up with spit in your food!

QueenBitch666 · 05/07/2023 23:23

I'd have one more evening out with him, apologise to the staff on his behalf for his vile behaviour ( hopefully embarrassing the fk out of him ) and then bin him. What a twat

determinedtomakethiswork · 05/07/2023 23:25

After the first time I went out with them that would be it. I can't bear it when people treat waiting stuff like that.

LakeTiticaca · 05/07/2023 23:25

Nope!! It would be the last time I would be in his company. I hate people who behave like this

Zarataralara · 05/07/2023 23:26

I dumped a bloke because he was rude when a waiter accidentally knocked his beer over. I got more beer on me than he did and I wasn’t bothered but he just sounded nasty.
I’d have to dump this man as well, he sounds awful.

RampantIvy · 05/07/2023 23:26

I wouldn't go out with them again. I would also have apologised to the staff.

SlipSlidinAway · 05/07/2023 23:28

No - I couldn't be friends with someone like that.

ughhowawful · 05/07/2023 23:37

I dined with someone once who clicked her fingers to get the waiting staff's attention. Only dined with her the once

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 05/07/2023 23:42

He does understand social cues, otherwise he'd be rude to everyone. He knows he's treating these people like shit and doesn't care.

Yes. It's also interesting how many people who 'don't understand social cues' never seem to go the other way and be excessively OTT polite to everybody, isn't it?

I like the idea of apologising for him in front of him. It's not like you'd embarrass him any more than he's already chosen to embarrass himself.

I'd be inclined to go all the way in treating him like the toddler he's acting as and say to the staff "Sorry, I think he's overtired" and then, when he barks a command, say "P, p, p, p?" to him, like you do when teaching little ones to remember their pleases and thank yous.

pinklama · 05/07/2023 23:42

Absolutely no excuse to treat people rudely but some snobs think that workers in hospitality are beneath them. I would not go to a restaurant with them.

suburbophobe · 05/07/2023 23:44

What a creep.

That's me done with him.

How does she react to all this?

Original poster
straling · 06/07/2023 05:05

suburbophobe · 05/07/2023 23:44

What a creep.

That's me done with him.

How does she react to all this?

She doesn't say anything at all. It's terrible.

OP posts:
Frogpond · 06/07/2023 05:08

Maybe change how you spend time with them. If they ask why be honest, because you don’t want your food spat in by the staff.

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