Friends husband is insufferably rude to restaurant staff

[straling]

A new friend's husband is starting to bug me a lot..

We've been out to dinner a few time and also for coffee and he's always nasty to staff.

Examples:

Argued that he had been served a single espresso rather than a double. He thought there was not enough coffee and basically expected a small americano if you ask me, as his coffee seemed fine. He was quite rude and confrontational about it.

Walked into a restaurant, didn't even great the waiters and just said ' turn the aircon on '.. no please or thank you or anything.

Sat at the table and instead of saying ' excuse me ' to get the waiters attention, he just screamed across the room ' yeah HELLLOOO '.

These are just small examples. It's his whole demeanour that has put me off.

I think he may have some sort of issue with social cues. Could you be friends with someone like this ? He's quite polite to my husband and I and I can't imagine him being rude to us, so he clearly knows how to be polite, he just can't be polite to waiters, clearly.

I think it's bad form, but the other part of me thinks that maybe he doesn't realise and isn't good at social cues and it's because of that snd I should be more understanding..

Don't talk nasty to the waiter and then talk nice to me , cos I know you'd treat me that way if you could - Muhammad Ali.

I hate to think how he treats his wife.

I think it's bad form, but the other part of me thinks that maybe he doesn't realise and isn't good at social cues and it's because of that snd I should be more understanding

@straling Oh he knows exactly what he's doing. It's all about power and control

As someone who worked in hospitality all through A Levels, University under and post grad years I can tell you that

1. it’s not uncommon to get men like him - superior, believe that their better than ‘staff’ in general
2. they absolutely DO get their food and drinks ‘messed’ with, they do get the shittiest room/service/ food/ choices that we can get away with …

it’s the respectful guests who get the favours/upgrades/ better portions/ cleaner food…

I have a posh friend who’s always been awful to wait staff, receptionists, taxi drivers etc and sometimes gets in big trouble with his attitude- I always told him ‘they’ll run your steak on the counter before serving it’ etc and he never believed me but it DOES happen …

People who are rude to service staff are just revealing how they'd always behave if they thought they could get away with it.

I'd be minimising contact with this couple.

One of DHs friends is like this in restaurants. I won’t go out for meals with them.
last year we had a 2 week holiday together and only ate 2 meals together - we both call him out on it, it’s embarrassing. His DP is embarrassed by it and his DD is following his example.

It’s classless, decided someone is beneath respect because of their job.
I wouldn’t go out with them.

I'll state upfront that I am polite to waiting staff/shop assistants etc as why wouldn't you be? They're just doing their job. I'm only 'firm' if someone is rude or dismissive to me.

Anyway, is this spitting in peoples' food a real thing or an urban myth?

‘Anyway, is this spitting in peoples' food a real thing or an urban myth?’

worked in kitchens, hotels, restaurants, bars for years … not a myth. Spitting is the extreme end but plenty of food has had a less than hygienic journey from server area to table.
Think about it - you’re working for years ( around kids, or study, or starting that band etc) with some people behaving like arseholes ( repeatedly in some cases) and have to put up with this nonsense and have no other power or recourse…

This, I would warn him that I would walk away if he’s rude. Then I would carry out the threat if he is rude.