Social Services lady follows me out of shop for raising voice at toddler

[raisedvoic]

My DS is 3 and a half.

We went to a shop yesterday and he was having the usual tantrums and throwing himself on the floor.

I usually do the ' validate feelings ' be there for them. Which is what I started off doing. Then I got a bit frustrated and said something like ' that's enough, we are going outside to cool off. You can't behave that way in here.' My voice was slightly raised and I suppose I seemed frustrated.

So I took him outside to cool off and a lady followed me out and told me off for raising my voice at my son. She said she was from SS and could now follow me. I said, go for it. Follow me wherever you like, I have absolutely nothing to hide. I also told her to mind her own business and explained that I don't usually raises my voice at him, but it just happened and he's fine and I'm fine etc.

I was quite shocked. Anyway she went away and that was that. So half a raised voice to a child now warrants this kind of shaming ? When they're giving babies back to drug addict parents who then end up killing them ?

I get it if I had been abusive or even been violent ( I never would ). But what I did, was really not that bad at all. I've seen worse in public.

Someone once told me that I was 'emotionally neglecting' my two year old because they were having a tantrum in a cafe because I had refused to buy them their own cake. I had bought a cake but it was for my DC's to share.
Some people just like to interfere. It's not fair to assume that the OP was in the wrong.

This! I could almost guarantee she is not from SS. Anyone who works for SS wouldn't behave like this. Very unprofessional and if you made a complaint could get them in trouble at work

Are you saying that the op probably was shouting and swearing at her child?

Why?

I don't actually think they'd say there were Social Services either, as they mostly work for Childrens Services (or other organisations) but Social Services isn't really a thing anymore.

My DP is a Childrens Social Worker and he wouldn't blink an eye at something like that, certainly wouldn't approach someone and definitely not talk to them, threaten them or follow them!

There’s so much of this now. Because I was bullied at school I was told I had an off putting manner when walking into shops and that’s why a woman gave me a dirty look.

It’s literally batshit and bears no relation to what happened but there’s this cohort of posters now who are determined they know what happened more than the person there at the time. They’re crazy but full of confidence.

Of course she was, CS have no powers like that but I'm sure there'll be a ton of posts now whipping up the Stasi frenzy, sigh.

SS wouldn't do that She was lying

I would have told her to mind her own business....

She was lying. Not SS, just an interfering busybody. Following people is harassment.

Personally I don’t believe she was from SS. This isn’t how they work . I think she was a busybody who said that to scare you . If she was really from SS and was concerned she wouldn’t have just walked off

I would guess that this individual was not from SS at all, but some busy body, pretending that they were. If she had been, she would have had to show ID, and I’m pretty certain she would not be able to behave in the way that she did if she really did work for SS.

She was a random nutter, definitely not SS. I'd have demanded she show me her ID.

Definitely not a sw

Social workers don't confront random people because they are being firm with a tantrumming toddler don't worry

To be brutally honest, someone from Social Services would be saying that - she was just a chancer

She sounds like a nutter. Your child was behaving in a totally age appropriate way and you were handling it really well.

Wonder what she'd have done if she'd seen me walking home with my then 2 year old daughter screaming her head off under my arm, shopping bags in hand after she had one of her epic paddies in a supermarket. Her terrible twos are legendary in our family. But her teens were a breeze and she's a delightful young adult now!
This person was almost definitely not from social care. Just a busybody

She wasn't from the social services she was just a nosey woman

She told you she was from social services to make herself look important and intimate you. A social worker wouldn’t wade in like that off her own bat, she’d have more than enough cases to juggle without borrowing trouble. Fantasist, ignore her.

Probably some random nutty busybody

Different children need different things. If I had raised my voice to my daughter at that age she would have cried and it wouldn’t have helped. My son was bold as brass and needed a firm raised voice. As long as you’re not screaming at them a raised voice is a perfectly valid parenting tool.

She was talking shit. I'd like to see someone try and tell me I can't tell my own misbehaving child off!

My thoughts exactly. There are people that would strangely power trip from this.
I can bet she wasn't SS.

I doubt that she was really from SS. Someone from SS would NOT act like this with random members of the public: they would call the police if a child seemed to be in danger, and otherwise not get involved with someone not on their 'list'.

Considering the major problems that SS seem to lack the will/ resources to address, they're not going to make an issue over someone speaking a bit sharply in a shop.