Social Services lady follows me out of shop for raising voice at toddler

[raisedvoic]

My DS is 3 and a half.

We went to a shop yesterday and he was having the usual tantrums and throwing himself on the floor.

I usually do the ' validate feelings ' be there for them. Which is what I started off doing. Then I got a bit frustrated and said something like ' that's enough, we are going outside to cool off. You can't behave that way in here.' My voice was slightly raised and I suppose I seemed frustrated.

So I took him outside to cool off and a lady followed me out and told me off for raising my voice at my son. She said she was from SS and could now follow me. I said, go for it. Follow me wherever you like, I have absolutely nothing to hide. I also told her to mind her own business and explained that I don't usually raises my voice at him, but it just happened and he's fine and I'm fine etc.

I was quite shocked. Anyway she went away and that was that. So half a raised voice to a child now warrants this kind of shaming ? When they're giving babies back to drug addict parents who then end up killing them ?

I get it if I had been abusive or even been violent ( I never would ). But what I did, was really not that bad at all. I've seen worse in public.

It is unlikely that this person was a social worker. That being said this incident should alert you to be a more mindful in public because there are people are overtop and definitely would call the police on you.

I would have been tempted to call the police. She may have nefarious intentions and a more vulnerable person may have believed she is a social worker and allowed her into their home

I'd assume she was troublemaking and knows nothing about children. And knows nothing about SS. I'm sure social workers have more pressing things to concern them.

I agree that is some head case pretending to be from the social services.

Nah she was having you on. SS would not intervene in the case of a misbehaving toddler and a slightly raised voice.

My guess would also be random weirdo.
My sil got told off by the ceo of the rspca because she was giving her dog a pat when he was on lead. Apparently it causes infiltration.

There is no way she is from social services!

SS see so many horrific situations that they're probably desensitised to FAR worse than a parent getting slightly irritated at their child (which happens to the best of us - society might expect us to be perfect, patient nurtures 100% of the time but we are all human). And if she was from social services, she'd still have to go through the correct procedure so it's far more likely she's lying.

That's an entirely different scenario to.the one the Op.describes 🙄

Why not get in touch with your local SS, give a description plus time/place you encountered this person and ask if it's one of their team. I suspect it was more likely to be a busybody who had nothing to do with SS.

If someone invokes their job ask for and photograph their ID. Good to teach your child safety.

Id guess she was a bullshitting fantasist

So then don’t assume.

She wasn’t from social services. She was a busybody who thought it would shock you if she claimed to be from them.

I find that the words “please show me your badge” solve a lot of issues. Even if she does work for SS she is talking nonsense.

She must have been lying. They see the worst, they would not bat an eye lid at a parent reprimanding their child. I'd call liar or possibly works there in some non social worker roll.

If you have the time, I would report this to SS . Ask the shop for cctv, as you're in it you can legally ask for it. Report with a picture to either SS and or non emergency police, surely it is an offence to purport to be a social worker and to claim you have the right to follow someone, or if she is she is abusing her position, this would surely go again their conduct.

Give over. It's perfectly reasonable to tell your toddler to quit carry on in a firm tone out in public. You don't have to worry about someone calling the police because it is perfectly reasonable, run of the mill behaviour.

I would have started raising my voice at her to let her know that displaying stalker behavior towards me and my child (‘she said she could follow me now’ ) is threatening behavior and she has 5 seconds to remove herself from near our presence or I’d be calling the police on her and let them deal with this lady from ‘social services’.

' that's enough, we are going outside to cool off. You can't behave that way in here.' My voice was slightly raised and I suppose I seemed frustrated.

I doubt she was from SS. I bet you any money someone from SS overhearing that would think, "thank fuck for one parent that disciplines and sets boundaries. That's one less case for me".

Surely its not even bad to expect reasonable behaviour from a toddler anyway?! No wonder schools have so many issues with behaviour if its no longer socially acceptable to be firm with a toddler?!

Can everyone stop with the derogatory language about mental health please? It’s not OK.

I'm no expert but I am pretty sure ANYone from 'Social Services' wouldn't do this. Next time anything like this happens @raisedvoic tell the person you're calling the police.

Report either to SS and or non emergency police, surely it is an offence to purport to be a social worker and to claim you have the right to follow someone, or if she is she is abusing her position, this would surely go again

I agree with this. She needs to be reported.

There is a lot of shouty parents who speak horribly to their children out and about. They just never think anything wrong of their behaviour, you'd find everyone in their social network and their own parents also shouts and swears at their child like it's nothing.
The woman is unlikely an actual social worker but it sounds like you're downplaying what happened with your kid, too.

I had a woman claim to be from the RSPCA a couple of years ago telling me my dog was too thin (he's a whippet and not an especially thin one) and that I should fatten him up with chocolate buttons. Some people are just nuts.