Social Services lady follows me out of shop for raising voice at toddler

[raisedvoic]

My DS is 3 and a half.

We went to a shop yesterday and he was having the usual tantrums and throwing himself on the floor.

I usually do the ' validate feelings ' be there for them. Which is what I started off doing. Then I got a bit frustrated and said something like ' that's enough, we are going outside to cool off. You can't behave that way in here.' My voice was slightly raised and I suppose I seemed frustrated.

So I took him outside to cool off and a lady followed me out and told me off for raising my voice at my son. She said she was from SS and could now follow me. I said, go for it. Follow me wherever you like, I have absolutely nothing to hide. I also told her to mind her own business and explained that I don't usually raises my voice at him, but it just happened and he's fine and I'm fine etc.

I was quite shocked. Anyway she went away and that was that. So half a raised voice to a child now warrants this kind of shaming ? When they're giving babies back to drug addict parents who then end up killing them ?

I get it if I had been abusive or even been violent ( I never would ). But what I did, was really not that bad at all. I've seen worse in public.

I'm going with the "random weirdo" theory.

I know people who work in SS and in all honesty I doubt she was. You would have had to have sounded pretty scary as they have to ignore all sorts of things they don’t like but also know don’t warrant abuse.
Sounds like an intense day. Do sit back and reflect though as you must be pretty upset that you were so angry at your child!

Definitely lying.

Social workers barely have time to help people who are begging them for help. Never mind going vigilante style on their lunch break.

I would’ve said “Are you, where’s your ID?” Then when it became obvious she was lying I would’ve told her to fuck off!

OP we all get frustrated! We all raise our voices from time to time! It happens. Small children can be really hard work and frustrating.

I shouted at a student for being dangerous a couple of years ago and she cried and phoned her supervisor at university ( Healthcare setting and she could have died, she was holding onto a bed during CPR. I’d asked her twice to move but she ignored me!). She said in her written complaint that no one had ever told her off. She was 20! There is no problem in telling kids off.

I work forum local authority and all of adult care workers badges (you could be a carer in a home or a social worker) say adult care, I know a few people who aren't social workers who go around saying they are from Social services

😂😂. I used to manage an opticians and we had called an elderly lady three times in a week re her prescription. She obviously thought it was a scam call and dramatically told the 19 year old receptionist she was the police, she was recording the call and she would get arrested. The receptionist was actually shaken up although we both knew she was 76 as it was in her record 😁

Doubt she was SS, they don’t intervene when kids are being tortured by the step parent.

I don't believe she was from SS she was just a busybody. The level of abuse has be be extreme to get any SS intervention now, raising your voice wouldn't get any attention at all.

It’s obvious she was lying. And social workers do a great job of protecting thousands of children - it’s not the sole decision of the social worker to return children, ultimately it’s up to a judge and often decisions are made that the social worker doesn’t agree with - educate yourself. I suspect your reaction to your child’s tantrum was more severe than how you’ve written it here to warrant a random member of the public to be concerned.

Sounds like a busy body.

If she really was from social services she most likely would have followed you discreetly and got your address that way.

Announcing to you outside the store seems a really stupid thing to do.

I'd have told her to piss of.

Next time you're out and about, if you happen to see her, tell her you're from MI5 and say that because of who you work for, you're allowed to follow her everywhere!

Play her at her own game😁

I don’t think a social worker would do that.

This. My BIL has form for saying he’s a police officer (which is actually illegal to do)

She was lying, some very odd people around, years ago a woman had a go at me for buying a sachet of rice in Aldi instead of a massive bag of the stuff 🙄.

This

I’d bet on she once had a job at the council offices switchboard putting people through to SS. No way genuine social worker.

Same.

Just let it go and put it down to weirdo behaviour.

She was 100% lying.

No social worker will follow an unknown parent out of a shop for raising their voice when child is misbehaving.

People who genuinely work for SS or the police generally keep their work life v private and certainly don't advertise their profession. Just a loon, OP, don't give it another thought.

She lied. She isn't from SS. She was a crank.

I really don't think she was from social services they have bigger fish to fry than following a mam around because you raised your voice a bit .

@Polik she got the child’s name from the shouting, but how did she get the address?

I agree that she sounds like a random nutjob.

When they're giving babies back to drug addict parents who then end up killing them ?

Do social workers make the decision to return babies?
I thought it was the courts…?