Social Services lady follows me out of shop for raising voice at toddler

[raisedvoic]

My DS is 3 and a half.

We went to a shop yesterday and he was having the usual tantrums and throwing himself on the floor.

I usually do the ' validate feelings ' be there for them. Which is what I started off doing. Then I got a bit frustrated and said something like ' that's enough, we are going outside to cool off. You can't behave that way in here.' My voice was slightly raised and I suppose I seemed frustrated.

So I took him outside to cool off and a lady followed me out and told me off for raising my voice at my son. She said she was from SS and could now follow me. I said, go for it. Follow me wherever you like, I have absolutely nothing to hide. I also told her to mind her own business and explained that I don't usually raises my voice at him, but it just happened and he's fine and I'm fine etc.

I was quite shocked. Anyway she went away and that was that. So half a raised voice to a child now warrants this kind of shaming ? When they're giving babies back to drug addict parents who then end up killing them ?

I get it if I had been abusive or even been violent ( I never would ). But what I did, was really not that bad at all. I've seen worse in public.

No way was she a social worker

Isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing? I’m sure we’ve all found ourselves in situations where we wish we done something differently.

But most people surely wouldn’t assume a random stranger who followed them out of a shop was the authority figure they claimed to be!

She wasn't from social services. No way.

SS would know that you can't just follow someone. That's harassment.

SS work with drug addicts and people that batter and abuse their kids. They don't waste their energy on a random mum telling off a toddler.

I agree

She said she was from SS and could now follow me

That statement alone shows she wasn't. from Social Services. They don't have that power. I'd have been tempted to tell her to go for it and walk away, and then lead her straight to the police station to report her for stalking.

Not how social services work. Sounds like a concerned member of the public

Yeah like others, she was full of shit.

Ignore.

Same, sounds like a busybody rather than anyone from SS. No actual social worker would say “now I have the right to follow you!” Sounds deranged.

Sounds like she was bluffing. Just like people who say they'll take you to court over something trivial to frighten you, but never do.

Yeah, she was probably lying. A social worker would know they have no authority in that scenario.

Fantasist, not SS

This

what a strange woman I’d have been asking for ID and employers details whom I would have later complained too

You know OP, a few years ago (just after Sarah Everard) there was a guy on the train who insisted he was under cover police, and tried to get another (male) passenger to get off the train and go with him. He proved he was police by making a hissing noise into his coat lapel, and saying “10-4”. This woman sounds about as convincing a social worker as he was a policeman.

I think she’s lying. She was just being interfering

A social worker would never, ever do this - she was lying to you.

We’ve heartbreakingly had God knows how many cases of children being tortured and murdered by their parent and step parents, it’s a pity she wasn’t around for those poor little ones rather than hounding a mother for disciplining her child and wanting to teach them right from wrong. This is real life and sometimes the “Come on now Poppit” said in a sweet little
fairy tale unicorn voice just doesn’t cut it.

My friend is a social worker, she wouldn’t have approached you in this way, she told me they have certain rules to follow to keep themselves safe. Do not confront if witnessing possible abusive behaviour, call the police is one of them.

Sounds like a slightly unhinged busybody. Social workers don’t behave like that!

I'm DSL at a secondary. We earlier this year we received a call from an off duty social worker ( works in neighbouring county, lives in our county) who came across one of our Y7s and Mum screaming at each other in a residential street.

So this does happen with off duty SW. I think I probably would do similar, assuming I felt safe.

This SW spoke to the family at the time, with a view to asking if they were OK and could dhe help? Not to be judgmental. Things calmed and they went back inside. From their home address and the boys first name (which she got from hearing the shouting) she was able to guess the school and shared details with us.

The boy and his mum now have some family support and are grateful that things came out in the open.

I'd also assume she was lying, threatening to follow you doesn't sound very professional

A social worker would not say they ,could ‘now follow you’ as they have no more powers to do that than anyone else would. They would phone the police if they were that concerned. It sounds like someone making it up.

I'd be very wary if people saying they are SS, police etc

I had someone at a festival tell me they were police, I honestly can't remember what the catalyst was now think some rando got into a dispute with me over something

Were they fuck the police but they seemed very insistent.

Real police who are off duty/ Plain clothes carry a warrant card

Quite apart from anything else, there is no "social services" any more, and hasn't been for a long time. Most are Children's Services or something similar.

She wasn't SS.
You raised your voice, you weren't hitting him. They wouldn't be interested in that. But if they did have concerns over something they wouldn't approach you and tell you they'd follow you, such nonsense.