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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social Services lady follows me out of shop for raising voice at toddler

177 replies

raisedvoic · 05/07/2023 07:05

My DS is 3 and a half.

We went to a shop yesterday and he was having the usual tantrums and throwing himself on the floor.

I usually do the ' validate feelings ' be there for them. Which is what I started off doing. Then I got a bit frustrated and said something like ' that's enough, we are going outside to cool off. You can't behave that way in here.' My voice was slightly raised and I suppose I seemed frustrated.

So I took him outside to cool off and a lady followed me out and told me off for raising my voice at my son. She said she was from SS and could now follow me. I said, go for it. Follow me wherever you like, I have absolutely nothing to hide. I also told her to mind her own business and explained that I don't usually raises my voice at him, but it just happened and he's fine and I'm fine etc.

I was quite shocked. Anyway she went away and that was that. So half a raised voice to a child now warrants this kind of shaming ? When they're giving babies back to drug addict parents who then end up killing them ?

I get it if I had been abusive or even been violent ( I never would ). But what I did, was really not that bad at all. I've seen worse in public.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 05/07/2023 07:07

To warrant that reaction, I'd assume your tone was harsher than you think, but she sounds like a dick. She can't just follow you because of who her employer is.

cryinglaughing · 05/07/2023 07:07

Did she have proof she was from SS?

There are strange people out there who may have pretended to be SS 🤷🏻

mynameiscalypso · 05/07/2023 07:07

I'd assume she was lying to be honest.

Lacucuracha · 05/07/2023 07:08

She does sound extreme but I would have asked her for some ID, maybe she was lying.

Hollyhead · 05/07/2023 07:08

I wonder if she even was or whether she was just someone unhinged and lying. The social workers I know wouldn’t have given it a 2nd thought given the desperately high bar for intervention that there actually is.

FlounderingFruitcake · 05/07/2023 07:08

I’d bet money on her being a random weirdo and having fuck all to do with social services.

pippistrelle · 05/07/2023 07:08

Just because someone said that to you doesn't make it true.

Shutuptrevor · 05/07/2023 07:08

I don’t reckon she was from SS.
Social workers are way too busy and knackered to bother harassing parents of tantrumming toddlers on their days off!

Original poster
raisedvoic · 05/07/2023 07:08

She didn't show me anything and I didn't ask actually.

OP posts:
Astromelia · 05/07/2023 07:08

Bizarre behaviour, I doubt she was anything to do with social services at all. Social workers know better than to confront potentially aggressive strangers in public, and as you say it doesn’t sound bad anyway. Maybe your tone of voice wasn’t nice or something but that’s a mistake every parent makes at some time.

A social worker who was actually scared for a child’s safety in a public place would call the police, not confront a random person.

It’s good to set boundaries. I probably would have scooped him up and taken him out faster than you did.

ohfook · 05/07/2023 07:09

I doubt she was from social services tbh. Just sounds like a random weirdo.

Dragonsandcats · 05/07/2023 07:10

I’d assume she was lying.

Elleherd · 05/07/2023 07:11

Very much doubt she was actually from SS, just someone who either didn't like what they were seeing, fairly or otherwise, or someone obsessive with MH issues.

Dogsitterwoes · 05/07/2023 07:11

She was obviously a random loony busybody and lying about being from ss. Why didn't you just tell her to piss off?

qwedtask · 05/07/2023 07:11

She didn't work for SS

JaneSeeMore · 05/07/2023 07:13

Why are you assuming she was telling the truth about being from social services, OP? You sound very naive.

ThursdayFreedom · 05/07/2023 07:13

Another vote for 'not SS, just either a concerned person or 'oddball'.

don't give it another thought.

Sendmymillioninaninvoice · 05/07/2023 07:13

Adult dd had a lunatic following her around for a while saying they were from the police and would arrest her law abiding self if she went out. She had a controlling ex which was probably the cause of that insanity and he disappeared before she could get a restraining order.

YANBU OP someone was trying to scare you. That is not the SS’s usual MO. Meanwhile there are kids getting hit and pulled about and nobody does a thing.

I’ve seen someone be evil to their child, didn’t call SS but as I walked past I did say loudly “We can all see you, be nicer to that child.”

wildfirewonder · 05/07/2023 07:13

The likelihood is she was lying.

Notmineagain · 05/07/2023 07:14

So obviously you did the most common sense thing and ask her for proof of her actually being from SS, instead of working yourself up over what clearly was a loony person having you on.

Delia123 · 05/07/2023 07:15

A social worker would call the police and not tackle you directly so I think its safe to assume this woman is not a social worker. It's also a criminal offence to impersonate a social worker.

bumblebee2235 · 05/07/2023 07:15

That is not social services at all 😂 they would not approach or act like that in the slightest... and they would not be bothered with a raised voice over the actual problems they deal with! What a weirdo, I hate judgemental people who like to shove their beak in without any clue on the reality of peoples lives. Also an actual worker would need more evidence, or a 5 min interaction.

Bleepbloopbluurp · 05/07/2023 07:16

I'd bet she's nothing to do with SS and just a local nutter.

bumblebee2235 · 05/07/2023 07:16

bumblebee2235 · 05/07/2023 07:15

That is not social services at all 😂 they would not approach or act like that in the slightest... and they would not be bothered with a raised voice over the actual problems they deal with! What a weirdo, I hate judgemental people who like to shove their beak in without any clue on the reality of peoples lives. Also an actual worker would need more evidence, or a 5 min interaction.

I meant more than a 5 min interaction haha

Original poster
raisedvoic · 05/07/2023 07:16

Ah ok thanks. Glad I know now!

OP posts:
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