This
Please, Op, inform yourself of your very precarious financial situation
if you split you will be homeless
you have no rights to any of his assets you have enabled whilst you were part time sham. So, his pensions have built full time , his advancement in his work etc all benefitted from your arrangement. Yet you will see no benefit for,this is you split up and have no legal rights to it
never mind, that if he is run over by a bus, and is not mentally competent (eg in a coma) you will not be able to access any of his money to keep you out of debt, unless you have a LPOA already in place? If he dies, you will also loose your home, unless he has a legal Will leaving it to you.
Aside from that, do not perpetuate this longer than necessary. Women’s pensions are in crisis, because people like you don’t understand that you aren’t just working for today, but for after you retire. Your partner may well also be thinking about this- that unless you start contributing more to a pension of your own , you will both be struggling in retirement as his pension won’t go that far, and you probably don’t have much in way of private pension . I hope you’ve been paying voluntarily NI contribution since your youngest turned 12, if you have incomplete years- go and check your government pension forecast now. To not qualify for at least full state pension could be catastrophic
you either need to marry to get legal and financial protection, or go to work full time now and benefit from a full time wage now , but also in your retirements. I pretty much just worked for my pension alone for many years-what I weren’t was not much more than our childcare bills.
I was main breadwinner in our house for many years. ExH had mental illness, but even when well avoided working by not making applications, applying for stuff he wasn’t qualified for, getting fired for poor performance. It put huge stress on me, forced me to work ever longer hours . I need up resenting his entitlement to think it was ok for him not taking responsibility to contribute to his upkeep fully, never mind his share of kids. It also terrified me that if I lost my job we had nothing to fall back on. Do not underestimate the stress, resentment etc that this creates when one partner decides to not work / not work full time unilaterally where there is no good reason
regarding chores, your partner is capable of doing half. That has to become the deal to return to work full time. It makes for a lot less arguments and stress if horses are divided equally and raises your kids to know that both parents need to contribute equally in a relationship. I’d even go as far to say, it is still worth working full time even if you pay a cleaner or laundry, just for pension and the mental benefits of working and being financially actively
your job that you enjoy is fair enough to not to want to leave. Look at the aspects of that job that you like, and write them out, target applying for any job, even n a new sector or different role, thst has those same aspects . Ask your partner for a years grace to allow you to try to do this search , but after thst you really do have to work full time if he doesn’t want to continue to take pressure of being only full time wage.