Tough. Children come first. It's the duty of both parents to provide for them, above any other commitments they may wish to make, their own needs or desires, etc. Both should be paying 50% of the costs of raising the child. Then you cut your cloth accordingly for everything else with what is left. You make sacrifices and be a responsible adult and don't make new commitments until you can comfortably meet your current ones.
Expecting the other parent to pick up the tab for you or - if they can't - your child to suffer, is unacceptable and no decent parent or decent human being would do this even if it did mean their standard of living was impacted significantly. What do you think happens to resident parents who are left doing almost all caring (impacting their earning potential and wellbeing and social life far more) AND in almost all cases paying more than 50% of the costs as well? Do you think they get to prioritise their own living standards and what they'd rather spend their earnings on?
It's also a huge presumption to assume the poor man contributed more to the assets at separation and is left with a lower or "unfair" share. Many women now are the higher earners, plus do most of the childcare/ housework. I was always the higher earner, by far. Also main carer. And it was suggested I should give ex-H - who has no contact with his children - spousal maintenance when I divorced him!! When a couple separate the woman becomes the resident parent, often continues to do or pay for most of the childcare, arrange work around that damaging ger career progression opportunities, continues to pay most of the other living costs for the child. And the men moan they are told to give a measly 15% salary for their own children?! Who in a couple with kids has 85% of their salary free to spend on what they want to outside the obligations to house, feed, clothe and otherwise provide for the family? Why should the non-resident parent be allowed to do that - who can work whenever they like etc - and expect the one doing most of the work of raising the children to also pick up most of their share of the costs? It's barmy and not what other countries do. It's morally reprehensible and shows just how misogynistic UK society is because obviously nobody cares because most resident/ lone parents are women (nearly 90%). And even other women feel soooooo sorry for these poor, poor men asked to make a tiny contribution (and it is tiny in proportion to the actual cost in all but a very small percentage of cases) to the cost of them raising their children. 🙄🙄
These men who are expected to contribute a frankly insulting proportion of their income to raising the children they created that comes nowhere near close to 50% of the actual cost and then moan about it are frankly pathetic and as I said earlier: the world won't miss these specimens if they find living up to even that very tiny proportion of the responsibility of being a passably decent parent too much to cope with. All of the evidence shows that women spend a much higher proportion of their income on their children and do much more of the childcare/ raising of them and these men are bleating about how unfair it is?And the impact on their mental health of having someone else do 90% of the job of raising their kids and pay for most of it as well? It is the very definition of pathetic. A stronger word is required really but don't want to get my post deleted.
So no, I'm not weeping in sympathy. 🤦🏻♀️😵💫😆