Are attractive women treated worse by other women

[Paaooolo]

My best friend since primary school is a beauty. 5'10, long, thick gorgeous hair, pretty face, nice figure, etc. She's a lovely person too. We were out the other weekend and I noticed other women were really stand off-ish with her (thru no fault of her own, she was V polite and chatty)! I'm average looking, a 6/10 if I'm really dressed up maybe and don't have this problem. Attractive women, is this common?

There are multi million pound industries based around peoples insecurity about their looks, are you saying that no woman ever felt envious of someone better looking than them.

If I were saying that, I would have said that.

But the question was, is it such a significant and common phenomenon? And given that there isn't consensus among the beauties, and plain Janes like me have also experienced women disliking them for unknown reasons...Well, is it?

I do recall the last time we discussed this, beauties admitted queue jumping at the bar and other antisocial things, but insisted the frosty response was nothing but jealousy.

"Not like other girls" is still a deeply entrenched mindset for many, including a lot of women who really are old enough to know better.

I actually think the younger generation is wiser to this misogynistic crap.

My experience is the exact opposite. I was a very plain child and young adult, bad skin, bad hair, thick NHS glasses and with such low self esteem I hid myself away in baggy, unattractive boys handmedowns. at best I was overlooked and ignored, at worst I was bullied.

I blossomed when I was older, contact lenses, my skin cleared up, I had good hair and nice clothes and I showed off my lovely figure. Since my early 20s I've definitely been on the upper scale of good looking. As soon as that happened I found people (male and female, romantic, platonic and professional relationships) sought my company, wanted to spend time with me and liked me. And the more that happened the more my confidence grew and the more people liked me.

I'm very lucky . I'm retired now, still good looking but more importantly I have wonderful supportive friends around me who accept me for good and bad. As an adolescent I could never have imagined my life would end up like this.

Good looks open doors.

Love Hailey steinfeld's song "I want to be like other girls". It's a good knock back to any body who thinks they're superior when they claim they're not like other girls.

What they mean is, they don't adhere to nasty misogynistic stereotypes, but they'll hide behind them.

Ironically, the "not like other girls" shite is something a lot of women do.

But I do think the younger generation is smarter about it.

I'd say it is more the other way. Conventionally ugly and overweight women are treated much worse by other women

Well there’s nothing really anyway of measuring it is there, because attractive women will be shut down if they complain and told it’s something else.

I think so. With age I get a better reception from other women than when I was younger. I was a model when I was young so considered good looking.

According to this thread, they don't all agree on the experience anyway.

If I were saying that, I would have said that.

No you’ve just dismissed everyone’s lived experience instead.

But the question was, is it such a significant and common phenomenon? And given that there isn't consensus among the beauties, and plain Janes like me have also experienced women disliking them for unknown reasons...Well, is it?

Well significant is subjective and it appears relatable to many posters ? I guess as a plain Jane, maybe you’re not best placed to comment on the experiences of attractive women, in the same way I’m not the best person to comment on the life of a Scottish sheep farmer.

I do recall the last time we discussed this, beauties admitted queue jumping at the bar and other antisocial things, but insisted the frosty response was nothing but jealousy.

I don’t hang around the threads looking to put the beauties back in their box, so can’t really comment on the outcome of previous threads, but would hazard a guess it was one poster that queue jumped and not some general consensus amongst them.

Didn’t we already have a thread pitting women with different kinds of looks against each other today

According to this thread, they don't all agree on the experience anyway.

I dare say people that are not conventionally attractive or over weight will have different experiences too. Would you be challenging those posters on their interpretation of an event as well.

"Not like other girls" is still a deeply entrenched mindset for many, including a lot of women who really are old enough to know better
Agreed, it's one of those outlooks that once you see it and process what underpins it, it's very hard to unsee it and view it as anything other than misogyny.

I feel the same when I see people using "she's probably jealous" as a conclusion for any situation. Do people get jealous? Of course. But it's interesting that women being jealous of other women is the default assumption of some people (rather than having different tastes, different preferences, not liking something, having an issue with behaviour or personality traits).

It's all resting on this very silly competitive mindset that some women have bought into.

The only people who benefit from women peddling this crap are the men, who either get a handful of women competing for them or the ego boost of thinking half the population is desperate to please them.

A beautiful girl in our class at school was treated badly by all of us girls..looking back. She was an Angelina jolie lookalike in a class of average spotty teen girls in the 90s. Remember we all hated her because if you liked a boy you couldn’t introduce him to her as he would immediately ignore you and hang on her every word. Not her fault but she really got on our nerves!!

If they themselves were not in agreement over all having the same experiences, why would I tell them that they are?

How is it "challenging" anyone to observe that they aren't all saying the same thing? Surely the "challenging" thing would be to ignore what they're saying and insist they are in fact all of one mind even when they say they're not?

No you’ve just dismissed everyone’s lived experience instead.

No, I'm listening and acknowledging what they're saying. And they're not all saying the same thing.

Well significant is subjective and it appears relatable to many posters ? I guess as a plain Jane, maybe you’re not best placed to comment on the experiences of attractive women

I'm not. They are. And they're not all saying the same thing. In fact, I share a lot of their experiences. You appear to be dismissing me.

I don’t hang around the threads looking to put the beauties back in their box, so can’t really comment on the outcome of previous threads, but would hazard a guess it was one poster that queue jumped and not some general consensus amongst them.

You clearly are hanging around for some reason. This poster queue jumped and insisted that the bad reaction she got was simply jealousy for being beautiful...much like you're insisting the same because I'm a plain woman who told you the story, and couldn't possibly have a legitimate reason for participating in the discussion. According to you, my only reason for being on the thread is jealousy. Why should anyone bother to discuss anything with you when you've already decided that putting you back in your box is their only reason for engaging at all? But we are the shallow, looks-obsesssd ones?

I can't tell if you're real or not, tbh. Either way, I can assure you that if this is your idea of discussion in real life, the bad reaction you clearly expect from people won't be because of how you look.

DrSbaitso
It's a mindset thing, isn't it.

There's a lot of women who are beautiful/pretty/attractive and don't seem to have the level of issues some of the beauties claim on this thread. I bet they're not spending their days convincing themselves that the plain janes and rest of womankind are jealous of them either.

People who go through life believing they're so much better/so much prettier/so much more attractive/so much more talented than others tend to rub people up the wrong way. The problem is that their mindset means the default explanation is that obviously everyone is jealous. 🤣

Well, this poster has already decided that there can be no reason for an ordinary looking woman to be on these threads at all except simmering jealousy, so what else do we expect? You're jealous and bitter literally just from talking to her...on the Internet, no less!

Well, this poster has already decided that there can be no reason for an ordinary looking woman to be on these threads at all except simmering jealousy, so what else do we expect? You're jealous and bitter literally just from talking to her...on the Internet, no less!

Can you point out where I have said that you are jealous and not just mere jealousy, but simmering jealousy, oh and bitter. I guess if the cap fits, or do you just like making shit up for effect.

Bit like how you've dragged a comment out from a thread in 2019 about queue jumping, when you first started tackling this problem of attractive women having a different lived experience to yours.

Can you point out where I have said that you are jealous and not just mere jealousy...

Here: "I don’t hang around the threads looking to put the beauties back in their box."

Clear implication: you only come on to these threads to put beautiful women down because you're jealous.

Yes, I know you didn't use those exact words so you're probably going to pretend you don't understand implication or rhetoric. However, everyone else does and it's obvious to anyone who isn't stupid or disingenuous that that's exactly what you were saying.

So as before...since you think merely being on a thread is proof that I'm jealous of you (and I only have your Internet word that you're a hottie anyway), there's no point in engaging. You've already decided that envy is my motivation for, well, anything I say here at all.

I can't stop you from believing that. But I think it tells us a lot about the fact that by your own admission you are much disliked...and how likely it is that it really is just because everyone's jealous of you.

Some attractive women have said they have experienced hospitality. That is their 'lived experience'. Other people who don't self report to be beautiful have also experienced hostility. Some beautiful women can't relate at all. Regardless, it's the hostility that's the lived experience and people aren't really questioning that. What many people are struggling with is the extrapolation of a motive of jealousy. It's a significant leap given the 'lived experiences' of both those who define as beautiful and those who don't, and plays into some rather unpleasant and offensive views of women.
There are posters here convinced that being less attractive (in their opinion) and/or older is equated with nastiness and spite rooted in sexual jealousy. Like all women care about is being first in line to grab a man. It's hugely insulting to reduce women to competitors in some sexual market place.
Add to this a narrative that other beautiful women are by contrast, lovely, plus a few rose tinted tales of how men are so much nicer..and it really doesn't sit well.
Point this out though and predictably we get people trotting up to say is just another sign of jealousy.

You are going to get many different opinions on this as we all have different experiences.

I personally found it to be the opposite.
A childhood friend is v beautiful and people are attracted to her like bees to flowers. She is always surrounded by many people and did not require too much effort in making friends, or keeping friends.

She's def not a 'people pleaser'. I learned v quickly I can't rely on her too much, not even to answer texts/ calls (back in the day when everybody was answering texts/calls).
She's also not very interesting as a person beyond your usual small talk. She laughs and giggles at lots of other people's comments though and people seem to like that (I love it when I make people laugh!).

She's 42 and has already had some cosmetic interventions, is obsessed with her diet (has done them all) and is a regular gym goer. She did not need anything done as she's really above average pretty but it was clearly important to her.

I am probably above averagely attractive, certainly got quite a bit of male attention in my twenties, and have been fairly confident about my looks (at least since I left school). But I'm also quite quiet and an introvert, and find it difficult to make friends sometimes. I've always put it down to not being socially confident, but perhaps the combination of traits doesn't help. I probably come off as a bit shallow/vain/dull because I usually look good but sometimes struggle to find funny/interesting things to say? I swear I'm lovely on the inside, it just doesn't always come out until I feel comfortable with people, and that can take me a while.

I personally find many if not most women who think they are 'attractive' a pain in the arse. Especially if that seems to be their main aim in life. Some of them seem to think they only have to flutter their eyelashes to get whatever they want, or get out of whatever scrape their shallowness has go them in. Very often the classification of 'attractive' or 'pretty' seems to be given to women of average appearance (regular features, slim build, etc) who clearly spend a lot of time on 'grooming'. They often seem to be quite thick, which many men don't seem to mind.

oh dear