Are attractive women treated worse by other women

[Paaooolo]

My best friend since primary school is a beauty. 5'10, long, thick gorgeous hair, pretty face, nice figure, etc. She's a lovely person too. We were out the other weekend and I noticed other women were really stand off-ish with her (thru no fault of her own, she was V polite and chatty)! I'm average looking, a 6/10 if I'm really dressed up maybe and don't have this problem. Attractive women, is this common?

I think you are probs my right but I do think there’s an age factor at play too. I scrub up not bad and I find the older I’ve got the better women react to me. So I would say if you are both young there might be a bias at play that’s quite evolutionary. Competition for mates and I believe women are naturally competitive in this area.

In my experience, what most men want to hear is that you're nuts for them and you aren't interested in anyone else. You don't need to insult other men, you just need to make it clear you're not interested in them.

Funnily enough, this seems to be all that most women want as well.

No, generally people get the energy they give out back.
I am not a stunner by any means however I have noticed that if I have lost a bit of weight and have made an effort people are a lot nicer to me.

When an average/ plain woman smiles and laughs with a man she's being bubbly

When a attractive/ beautiful woman smiles and laughs with a man she's being manipulative, and coming on to him, is up for sex . If they don't smile or laugh them they are stuck up , aloof etc . They can't win .

Also weight is a massive trigger for women . If a woman is tall and slim and good looking the claws come out

See all of that to me seems grounded in the sexist idea that women as a group are bitchy and always jealous of the pretty/attractive women.

Loads of posts on here have outlined that there's a lot of pretty and attractive women who get on well with men and women.

I suspect if someone goes through life believing "other women are so jealous of ME, I'm so much prettier than them, so much slimmer than them, they're so insecure about their weight that they can't help give ME filthy looks because they're seething with envy when the see ME, when I walk into a shop/cafe the other women must be looking at ME, my DH says that all the other women are looking at ME and giving ME filthy looks because I'm so much more attractive than they are etc " to not have that outlook creep into their behaviour and interactions. It's a self-absorbed mindset that's got an underlying thread of internalised misogyny where the person at the centre really, really wants to believe they're not like the other girls.

I bet you are really popular.

My sister-in-law, who, (believe me!) is nothing special to look at, certainly no Kate Moss or oil painting, is always moaning that other women 'hate' her because she is 'so pretty' and look daggers at her on buses, in shops, etc. My hubster says they are probably wondering how much all the filler cost.

I think men and women are envious of others who have a better body.
I'm sure short and out of shape men are also envious of tall, muscular men with naturally broad shoulders, big hands and all that. I have seen men become insecure when a more attractive genetically blessed man is in the vicinity. But if he's modest and encourages other men he will end up liked. I've seen men give the so called filthy look to other men and get nervous/annoyed when a more attractive man arrives and all the women glance at him at least once because let's be honest we all turn to look when someone attractive arrives, it's instinctive.

IDK about being thin because some women have a nice body shape + being thin = amazing but not all thin women have a nice figure by default. I have never considered Kate Moss attractive so goes to show we all have different ideas of attractiveness. Now Lily James, yeah I'd be giving her side eye hahaha

If a man has a wife/partner that other men consider is out of their league they can get very jealous. I am sure that is why John Bercow was so disliked by Tory MPs!

If I was younger I might wish I looked like Dua Lipa

I think there is an element as well of choosing the narrative that echoes your feelings or what you wish is reality for example if you are hyper sensitive to racism or ageism or xenophobia or 'red hair phobia?' or being judged for your class or accent then this is the light or bias you will interpret interactions by I think it's called confirmation bias? I could be looking at you after an argument with my husband and I looked up because eyes instinctively go to attractive people and then you catch me and think I'm grimacing because of you when it could also be because I'm bored of waiting or my feet hurt but if you have that narrative in your head that because I'm looking at you with a grimace and I happen to be fat and unattractive and older then it must be jealousy... it's not always true! I've actually had an annoying colleague say something like yeah she's really hot when I wasn't even registering her looks just thinking about something annoying me as I glanced casually around the train.

Your lived experience is that you were glared at.
The conclusion this happened because you're very slim isn't an experience, its an assumption you've made.
You could be right. But in honesty, go to the Bullring any day of the week and you'll see hundreds of attractive very slim young women. So the larger less attractive ones are going to have their work cut out visibly hating them all.
Your partner is not a mind reader and has no basis to presume to know women's thoughts. You shouldn't take a man's word for it that other women have ill intent towards you.

Even gorgeous Dua Lipa gets trolled for looking manly.. so someone might be staring at her to work out if she's trans instead of jealous of her looks.

I agree with those who have said attractive people are, more often than not, treated much better by everyone. Called the halo effect I think. I see it with my more beautiful friends all the time. They’re lovely as well as being gorgeous.

I think people are maybe most well-disposed to women they perceive as being 'like them'. Not necessarily in terms of how pretty they are, but in terms of how they present themselves. The sort of women who tend to be nicest to me are the sort of women who tend to wear about the same amount of make-up as I do and dress most similarly, I think.

I’m currently bigger but 44 and yes I think slim women can look great but I’m not ‘jealous’ of them or hate them because I’m not slim what a weird way to think. For a lot of women it’s more than ‘willpower’ I’ve been on steroids for crohns and have no thyroid so I’m just stuck at the moment.

I was very slim in my teens/20’s and attractive but never had anyone giving me looks or being unkind but then you’d have to care about what random people think about you and who has time for that so perhaps I didn’t notice. I hope I treat everyone I meet fairly and with kindness regardless of looks!

@ManateeFair I think you are exactly right. The two mums I speak to regularly at school gates are casual dressers with no make up like me, which isn't the norm there. My BFF dresses up waaay more than me if we go out, but also a very casual dresser with no make up when not at work/out.

People subconsciously look for their tribe.

With regards to women being jealous of very slim women, I don’t agree that is the case. Slim does not automatically equal an attractive figure. Shape is more important than thinness.

With regards to women being jealous of very slim women, I don’t agree that is the case. Slim does not automatically equal an attractive figure. Shape is more important than thinness.
Agree with this, although even that has some interesting ideas underpinning it.

It's interesting that the underlying logic in so many 'jealousy' style posts is actually resting on sexist logic under the surface:

• I'm going to claim this other woman dislikes me/gives me evil looks/doesn't like me
• The woman is probably jealous of me or doesn't like me because I'm attractive
• Other women must be envious of me / feel insecure around me because I have/am X, Y, Z.
• men find X, Y, Z attractive and male gaze social norms say X, Y, Z are desirable in a woman

It rests on the assumption that all the other women (who are probably minding their own business and paying very little attention to strangers) go through life viewing every attractive woman as a threat.

The only people who win by some women adopting this competition mindset and men.

Interesting post @OrkneyBird . I agree it’s a subject that carries a lot of confirmation bias. We really don’t know why people behave towards us the way that they do, so we project our own narratives. And from an early age we’re exposed to a narrative that less beautiful women envy beautiful ones and wish them harm (think about Cinderella, Snow White and Rapunzel, and they’re just the ones off the top of my head), so it becomes an obvious interpretation for some behaviour.

Looks wise, I’m solidly average. Plenty of flaws, but I’m tall and slim and have big, very blue eyes. I also - as previously mentioned - have a bit of a resting bitch face and can be bit shy and socially awkward. So more attractive women could interpret my distant behaviour as envious, whereas someone less attractive than me might think I’m stuck up and arrogant. In reality, I’m usually just lost in my own thoughts, and certainly not interested in competing for male attention.

I think good looking people are generally treated better, and get away with more. Someone I have contact with in my job (not at my company) has been described to me as useless but she is kept on for her looks as she has a public facing role!

I have what some people think is a "posh" name.

People have actually said to me they thought I would be a bitch/snob because of my name which I find baffling.

Wow, that is quite fascinating.

I suspect it's that they aren't listening to anything you're saying.

I do remember watching a C4 documentary about how we react differently to men and women; not the topic here I know but bear with me. The same information was imparted by a woman as a man to a group of men. None of them could remember what she had told them but all of them commented unprompted on her attractive appearance.

I’m a bit of a scruffy tomboy. That’s my comfort zone.
For work I occasionally stick on a dress, make up, do my hair ‘properly’ for client meetings.
Can’t tell you the difference in reaction I get from people when out and about! I’m a dress it’s all doors held open for me, smiles, after yous etc
when dressed in combats, trainers with a backpack headed into London the other day I literally had a door shut in my face by one guy who apparently didn’t see me at all, and was followed round a dept store by the security chap in a well known central London shop! I obvs didn’t look like I could afford to buy much…

I'm not saying it's right, but that's a grooming/personal aesthetic thing...something you can choose and control. It's not the same as being conventionally attractive or not.

Of course not.
What a silly question.
People have bias towards beautiful women, people think beauty alone makes a person more intelligent, kinder person and people gravitate towards them.

Everyone who thinks attractive women get the short end of the stick should take a minute to think how ’ugly’ women are treated. You really think people treat them well?