Page 3 | Are attractive women treated worse by other women

Paaooolo · 2023-07-03T22:17:33+00:00

My best friend since primary school is a beauty. 5'10, long, thick gorgeous hair, pretty face, nice figure, etc. She's a lovely person too. We were out the other weekend and I noticed other women were really stand off-ish with her (thru no fault of her own, she was V polite and chatty)! I'm average looking, a 6/10 if I'm really dressed up maybe and don't have this problem. Attractive women, is this common?

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 04/07/2023 08:41

Obviously I walked into to tk maxx in an unfriendly way.

I will jazz hand my way into shops from now on 🤗

Like I said, lived experiences count for nothing on mn on these threads.

CadMan · 04/07/2023 08:41

Prettylittleroses · 04/07/2023 08:37

bet if there was a way to get impartial feedback (which of course there isn’t), other women would say you give off unfriendly vibes

by walking into a shop? You give off unfriendly vibes so women give you filthy looks. Cmon now.

Or it’s just as likely that someone had just farted, or it was really cold in the shop, or PP or her companion were shouting as they came in, or she was wearing a bizarre outfit, or the security guard had just stopped a shoplifter and everyone was on edge because of it…

Don’t you think that’s more likely than people spontaneously hating an attractive woman? How often do you glare at a stranger because she’s attractive?

LaBefana · 04/07/2023 08:42

I am fantastic looking, and people have always been very nice to me. Also dogs and cats trust me.

whodawhodaeho · 04/07/2023 08:43

The reality is, most people are concerned only with themselves, and if someone's giving you a 'look' in a shop it's probably nothing to do with you at all! They'll be thinking about work, or about the call they have to make that they don't want to, or they're tired or whatever.

I tell the kids this all the time. A bloke really went off at them the other day at the beach about nothing, he walked into them not looking where he was going and yelled. I explained that it wasn't them - HE was having a bad day/time/reaction for whatever reason.

LolaSmiles · 04/07/2023 08:43

I sadly think op you have your answer by some of the comments on this thread, which demonstrates the issue that exists, so many horrible comments about well if you’re bitchy, have an air of arrogance, flirt with blokes, show your body off then women don’t like you
To be fair posters haven't said all attractive or pretty women are those things.

They're observing that in their experience how people take to someone isn't to do with their prettiness or attractiveness, but it is to do with their behaviour.

As many people have said, there's a lot of very nice women who are pretty/attractive and they get on fine with women.

I suspect a lot of the people convinced "women don't like me because I'm beautiful" are probably going to display some of the behaviour and characteristics outlined on this thread because that sort of outlook is very similar to the "I'm not like the other girls" and the "I don't do friendships with women. Men are so much easier to get ok with. Women are so hard work and don't seem to get me" outlooks.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 04/07/2023 08:45

CadMan · 04/07/2023 08:41

Or it’s just as likely that someone had just farted, or it was really cold in the shop, or PP or her companion were shouting as they came in, or she was wearing a bizarre outfit, or the security guard had just stopped a shoplifter and everyone was on edge because of it…

Don’t you think that’s more likely than people spontaneously hating an attractive woman? How often do you glare at a stranger because she’s attractive?

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For clarifaction, it was summer, I was wearing boden, we’re both quiet because we’re introverts at heart.

And dh didn’t look like Brad Pitt so I don’t think it was jealousy, neither did he look like John Lyndon in the punk years.

LaBefana · 04/07/2023 08:46

I was wearing boden

Rolls eyes

CadMan · 04/07/2023 08:46

LolaSmiles · 04/07/2023 08:43

I sadly think op you have your answer by some of the comments on this thread, which demonstrates the issue that exists, so many horrible comments about well if you’re bitchy, have an air of arrogance, flirt with blokes, show your body off then women don’t like you
To be fair posters haven't said all attractive or pretty women are those things.

They're observing that in their experience how people take to someone isn't to do with their prettiness or attractiveness, but it is to do with their behaviour.

As many people have said, there's a lot of very nice women who are pretty/attractive and they get on fine with women.

I suspect a lot of the people convinced "women don't like me because I'm beautiful" are probably going to display some of the behaviour and characteristics outlined on this thread because that sort of outlook is very similar to the "I'm not like the other girls" and the "I don't do friendships with women. Men are so much easier to get ok with. Women are so hard work and don't seem to get me" outlooks.

Nailed it.

There’s also oodles of studies showing that attractive people are treated better, and it’s human nature to be friendly to people who are friendly to you. There’s not some maligned goddess superbreed hated by all of womankind walking amongst us.

Prettylittleroses · 04/07/2023 08:46

LolaSmiles · 04/07/2023 08:43

I sadly think op you have your answer by some of the comments on this thread, which demonstrates the issue that exists, so many horrible comments about well if you’re bitchy, have an air of arrogance, flirt with blokes, show your body off then women don’t like you
To be fair posters haven't said all attractive or pretty women are those things.

They're observing that in their experience how people take to someone isn't to do with their prettiness or attractiveness, but it is to do with their behaviour.

As many people have said, there's a lot of very nice women who are pretty/attractive and they get on fine with women.

I suspect a lot of the people convinced "women don't like me because I'm beautiful" are probably going to display some of the behaviour and characteristics outlined on this thread because that sort of outlook is very similar to the "I'm not like the other girls" and the "I don't do friendships with women. Men are so much easier to get ok with. Women are so hard work and don't seem to get me" outlooks.

Again case in point. This is not about women you interact with, know and take a dislike to, this is about women being disliked when they don’t know them, women not wanting to get to know them. But you’re doubling down on it. That some woman walking into a shop and getting filthy looks is because in some way she’s to blame. It’s her behaviour. Not the women behaving horribly.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 04/07/2023 08:48

What’s wrong with boden? 🤨. It was a nice top. Plain navy. Very sensible.

Hehasasecretfriend · 04/07/2023 08:48

Somanycats · 04/07/2023 01:35

The answer is really clear scientifically. Better looking people are treated on average better than less attractive people. By both sexes

I can give first-hand confirmation of this. I have twice in my life within 18 months moved from one end of the beauty spectrum to the other. Both times Beautiful Me was treated fifty times better than Plain Me by both sexes.

I can only remember one instance of the bitchy girls cliche hating me on sight but I think those particular girls hated everyone.

neverbeenskiing · 04/07/2023 08:48

I will say I get the whole ‘I thought you we’re gonna be a bitch when I first met you’

I get this too, also "when I first met you I wanted to hate you but you're really nice" always said in a lighthearted, jokey way. I remember my former boss, once we'd been working together a while and had become friendly, saying that when I turned up for my interview and she first saw me she hoped I'd interview badly or be a "bitch" so she'd have a reason not to hire me. On the whole people are warm, friendly and helpful towards me so I can't complain really, I'm just never sure how to respond to comments like that.

littlehattie · 04/07/2023 08:52

No, I find that women are lovely and quite complimentary about my skin, hair, figure etc. I have an especially stunning friend and I have never noticed her struggling when we are out either

Hehasasecretfriend · 04/07/2023 08:54

CadMan · 04/07/2023 08:19

Try it yourself OP. It’s a combination of attractiveness and engagement. People who look attractive just get more attention, and whether it’s positive or negative depends on their attitude to the observer.

Looking attractive and engaging? People are nicest.

Looking attractive but not engaging? People are worst.

Looking unattractive but engaging? People are alright.

Looking unattractive and not engaging? People tend to not notice you.

Nailed it

askmeonemoretime · 04/07/2023 08:55

A stunningly beautiful friend is very popular.

shrimpypink · 04/07/2023 08:56

I attractive and I am certainly treated differently and on occasion badly as a result of my looks In fact I have clear evidence at a few jobs of being treated poorly.

I also have people who won't come and speak to me at all (this is confirmed by other women who tell me this is the case)
I've also had people worry about me sitting next to their dh etc which is utterly ridiculous

I have been told I am intimidating to talk to because I am 'so good looking'
I've had my looks mentioned by most people I meet. It's so awkward!!

CadMan · 04/07/2023 08:56

Prettylittleroses · 04/07/2023 08:46

Again case in point. This is not about women you interact with, know and take a dislike to, this is about women being disliked when they don’t know them, women not wanting to get to know them. But you’re doubling down on it. That some woman walking into a shop and getting filthy looks is because in some way she’s to blame. It’s her behaviour. Not the women behaving horribly.

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Don’t you think that maybe years of bullying could make someone hyper-aware of people’s responses to them? Most people probably wouldn’t be looking around to gauge and record others’ expressions, and if they did pick up a ‘filthy look’ would assume it was for some other reason rather than directed at them, a complete stranger. Some people have resting bitch face and don’t owe people walking into a shop a smile!

MissChanandlerB0NG · 04/07/2023 09:00

I get treated very differently by other women on nights out or by other mums when I try to befriend them.

In restaurants/banks/work/circumstances where it's a serious matter like complaining etc. I am treated more favourably than others would be.

I would say for the most part it's an advantage, but it's harder (not impossible) to make new friends in my experience.

Prettylittleroses · 04/07/2023 09:00

CadMan · 04/07/2023 08:56

Don’t you think that maybe years of bullying could make someone hyper-aware of people’s responses to them? Most people probably wouldn’t be looking around to gauge and record others’ expressions, and if they did pick up a ‘filthy look’ would assume it was for some other reason rather than directed at them, a complete stranger. Some people have resting bitch face and don’t owe people walking into a shop a smile!

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This is so extreme, now it’s women who have been extremely bullied for years and are gauging a woman’s reaction as she goes about her business, ?

Silverumbrella · 04/07/2023 09:03

All the very attractive people I know seem to have wonderful lives and people treat them wonderfully too. I also find those I know who are less attractive but who have great, warm, friendly personalities are also treated very well by others regardless of their looks.

loislovesstewie · 04/07/2023 09:04

Sadly, I am no beauty. In my experience really beautiful women get an easier time in life. People often seem to give them more leeway , they get more attention when speaking, particularly in work situations. There seems to be ,almost, an equation , whereby good looks= more interesting etc. I think it might be, that a really attractive person is more confident, and that comes from the way they are perceived by others.

loislovesstewie · 04/07/2023 09:07

BTW Marilyn Monroe said that all little girls should be told they are pretty. She said no one ever told her she was and it caused her issues, she was always looking for that even as an adult. She never thought she was pretty.

Hehasasecretfriend · 04/07/2023 09:07

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 04/07/2023 08:26

I think it’s true. I’m very slim and I think that’s the tipping point.

I walked into a shop with dh and a group of three women turned round to give me evils. I was dressed as any other woman of 35 odd.

Dh and I hadn’t been seeing each other long when we went shopping to the bullring and halfway round he said other women don’t like you do they based on the amount of glares I’d had.

Ironically I was bullied for 5 years solid in school for being fat and plain so you can’t win.

But your not allowed to say any of this on here because lived experience counts for nothing and other women will pile on to say your imagining it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't agree sorry that your DH knew what he was talking about. I think because he presumably finds you gorgeous he assumes all other men do and all other women are jealous of you.

My DH says similar about the first time we went for a drink; apparently all the women at the other table were jealous of me and making mean remarks about my mini skirt.

Given how far their table was from us there is no way he could have known what they were talking about. They could have recognised me as I do a lot of local stuff and been commenting on that.

RitaFires · 04/07/2023 09:09

I don't think I'm especially attractive but I'm tall with a small frame and I did get bullied in school for being so skinny. I put on weight as I got older and then due to health issues I ended up back at a lower weight again and the difference in how I was treated was amazing. Everyone was so much kinder and more helpful, I got incredible customer service everywhere I went.

OrkneyBird · 04/07/2023 09:12

Echio · 04/07/2023 08:20

Statistically an attractive woman is more likely to get a higher paid job and have a more attractive husband so I'm not sure this is at all true. (I read this on the guardian a couple of days ago)

But is that because management tend to be mostly men who are hoping to sleep with her and men want a trophy wife or beauty is seen as a currency exchange for a wealthy man? i don't think attractive men necessarily go for equally attractive I can think of many male celebs but I don't want to be nasty about another woman's appearance. I think who they marry and date are different. This male celeb I have in mind dated drop dead gorgeous women but married a slim attractive enough but not top tier model types that he'd been dating and she also has her own wealth and high education.