Are attractive women treated worse by other women

[Paaooolo]

My best friend since primary school is a beauty. 5'10, long, thick gorgeous hair, pretty face, nice figure, etc. She's a lovely person too. We were out the other weekend and I noticed other women were really stand off-ish with her (thru no fault of her own, she was V polite and chatty)! I'm average looking, a 6/10 if I'm really dressed up maybe and don't have this problem. Attractive women, is this common?

That’s in response to a PP who said she was bullied for years growing up, but now she’s very attractive and recently three women gave her filthy looks as she entered a shop.

Sometimes the filthy looks is not meant badly it's that they feel envious or insecure wishing they looked like you, it could be jealousy and I would feel empathy for them I don't think it means they are bad people who hate you it could be they are just sad don't look like you or it's reminding them of their own shortcomings and insecurities. I don't think it's meant nastily I think they're feeling sad and sorry for themselves and why they haven't got what you have (genetics often). They pull a face because they are feeling upset about their own looks.

When I was young and beautiful, I used to do stand-up comedy. I started to notice that when I hadn't made an effort with my appearance I had a much better reception. It was so obvious, that I began to deliberately go on stage as physically plain as possible, hair scraped back, no makeup, loose clothes etc. It was so, so much easier to make people laugh when I looked like that. If I wore makeup and had my hair down, the audience could be very hard work. It was like people assume pretty women can't be funny.

Again case in point. This is not about women you interact with, know and take a dislike to, this is about women being disliked when they don’t know them, women not wanting to get to know them. But you’re doubling down on it. That some woman walking into a shop and getting filthy looks is because in some way she’s to blame. It’s her behaviour. Not the women behaving horribly
Honestly most people doing their shopping are not paying attention to other people that much.

Most likely they're paying a LOT less attention to other people than the people who are analysing every expression of strangers in their vicinity and deciding that a stranger has not only given them personally a filthy look, but then starts deciding on reasons why the stranger has probably given them a filthy look.

Most people don't go through life deciding strangers are giving them filthy looks for being slim. The DH comments about other women not liking the poster because of all the glares is really strange, but it's more of the same outlook (other women are bitchy, other women must be jealous of your looks).

Agree. The DH comments are probably a weird way of him trying to compliment her and find common ground / say something she’ll want to hear.

All the actual evidence is that attractive women (and men) are treated much better than unattractive ones including when their work is marked, when they are rated at work and when sentenced in court.

If I said good looking girl with a thicc ass, dressed in skims maybe with some lip filler I am sure some of your hackles would rise and you would tell me she’s not beautiful, she’s self obssessed, shallow etc. Actually, that look is just a trend, I know a few girls like this and they are nice. But… there is a false idea that they are all bitchy and self obsessed. So there definitely is hatred to women who look a certain type of way. Because people assume they will behave a certain type of way. As with most things- people are people, see through the outward appearance to the human underneath and you won’t go far wrong.

I've had all sorts of assumptions and accusations made on here because I get Botox. People who have never seen me and don't even know how old I am somehow know that I look like a dinner plate and my face is frozen and it's really really obvious. And they also know I'm shallow, nasty, superficial and going to hell.

To be fair, that last part is true, but it's not because I have a minor cosmetic procedure every year or so.

My best mate looks like a complete and utter supermodel but is also an actual angel of a human (and ten years younger as if I didn't feel a troll when I'm out with her in the first place!) and she does get nasty looks a lot of the time which is quite sad really...

I'd like to blow my own trumpet and say I'm decently attractive (heaven knows I spend enough to look this way!) but it doesn't help that I have serious resting bitch face so I suspect that may be the issue 🤣

It wasn't the Boden (proper noun) I was rolling my eyes at, it was the 'I was wearing'.

I think you’re on to something @Hehasasecretfriend . I’m sure some men love the idea that women are all competing for male attention; that they are some sort of “prize” and other women are envious of their partner for “winning” them with their beauty.

I have a bit of a resting bitch face, so I can imagine some accidental eye-contact in a shop could be interpreted as an evil glare, when actually I’m just thinking about work, or what to have for lunch or whatever, not “look at that stunning woman, I bet she’ll steal my husband, the bitch!”

It's a bit of a double edged sword... I was very attractive ... film star looks - think classic blonde bombshell from the 1950s and 1960s, from my mid teens to probably mid 40s. Then menopause hit and BANG, I started to gain some weight and wasn't quite as attractive as I'd been for the last 30 years.

I found other attractive/pretty women were perfectly nice to me like I was one of them, but the less attractive ones (some of them not all) were quite stand-offish with me. The men didn't look at them and looked at me instead and they were really horrible to me ... especially in the workplace. The ones that were above me in rank at work were awful as actually bullied me, and slagged me off behind my back. I did NOTHING to deserve it. I couldn't help how I looked any more than THEY could... They were incredibly jealous especially when every other man in the office clearly fancied me, and looked at me as I went past (and said my husband is a lucky man!)

Also a double edged sword because whilst I got lots of attention from men - I also sometimes got the wrong attention from men. I sometimes got men trying it on in nightclubs and pubs and stuff, and no matter how many times I said I've got boyfriend or husband they wouldn't leave me alone. Even happened a couple of times at work. I found the less good looking women didn't have that. People can say it still happens to them, but I never saw it/knew about it.

You do get favoured over the less good looking people in life, and at work though. There's a word or phrase for it (can't remember it right now) where better looking people get on better in life purely because of their good looks.

But yep @Paaooolo more physically attractive women ARE treated like shit by SOME less attractive women. (Not all.)

When an average/ plain woman smiles and laughs with a man she's being bubbly

When a attractive/ beautiful woman smiles and laughs with a man she's being manipulative, and coming on to him, is up for sex . If they don't smile or laugh them they are stuck up , aloof etc . They can't win .

Also weight is a massive trigger for women . If a woman is tall and slim and good looking the claws come out .

I’m sure some men love the idea that women are all competing for male attention; that they are some sort of “prize” and other women are envious of their partner for “winning” them with their beauty.

Yes, this type of man definitely exists. I've had a couple of them blatantly try to pit me against other women and I'm sure that in their own minds, we were the bitchy competitive ones, even though nothing came of it. The men weren't very good looking or enticing, which I suppose shouldn't be a surprise.

I definitely notice this. A new woman stated in my workplace recently, absolutely stunning, she looks like Margo Robbie. Within hours I noticed a weird reaction from some of the women in the office. A lot of "Who does she think she is" Poor girl had barely hung her coat up.
On the other side of that though I've always thought I was pretty average looking but over the last 3 years I've gone from a size 8 to a size 14. I felt like I was treated so much better when I was slim. Hard to explain but I've definitely noticed a difference.

I agree . It seems to bring the claws out . When I put on loads of weight women were nicer to me and I could have a laugh with a bloke without him thinking I was coming on to him .

Most people myself included are average looking, but with nice clothing , accessories, good hair and some make up can look good.

I have to admit there is a certain kind of woman I find irritating in public, but it's not based solely on looks. It's the slim attractive women but who also have those loud booming middle class voices, as if everybody in the vicinity needs to hear what they're saying. They carry such an air of self importance and I honestly don't think you get half as many overweight unattractive women with the same loud voices. So yes I probably do shoot them a look or if with DH we'll eye roll at each other, but I highly doubt these women would ever notice.

I’ve known super-pretty women who you just know are lovely people, just by looking at them.

But also the odd super-attractive ditto, who somehow gets my antennae quivering at once. Somehow you know that she doesn’t really like other women, much prefers men, and would pinch your bloke as soon as look at you - just because she can.

Feel free to slate me for that, but on the odd occasion I’ve felt it, I’ve been proved right. And a dd has said the same about the occasional one she’s come across.

I think attractive people tend to have people be nicer (on the whole) than unattractive people. They are more likely to be promoted and receive shorter sentences in court. It’s one of the reasons orchestras sometimes audition blind.

Attractive people who are used to others being nice to them then really notice when someone isn’t. I remember reading a blog (waiter rant) where the waiter said the restaurant was really busy and the hostess was much too pretty to have encountered this much hostility (from people waiting for tables) before.

I used to have a friend who was prettier than I was (am now middle aged). She was someone who was fun when it was just women but, if there were men about, she would pose, flirt and, afterwards, would talk about how much they all fancied her. She would say that other women were jealous but I think they were more bored.

Should have added, I’d still be perfectly pleasant - but very politely a bit wary.

I don't think this is true, if anything people are more drawn to attractive people.
If women are regularly standoffish to someone it is probably more to do with their personality and how they treat people.

I think this is a very interesting topic.

Personally I totally agree that pretty privilege is a thing as I've experienced it both ways so for me, women are nicer to me when I'm better looking.

I also know some goodlooking women who are allegedly hated by jealous women. I think it's a disgusting mysogynistic attitude as if our only function is to get male attention and if someone else is taking it away from you then you'll make them suffer.

As with most, if not all, things concerning human behaviour, it’s complex and oftentimes contradictory. Beautiful women can indeed be treated both better and worse on account of their appearance.

https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/business/story/2019-12-16/the-bias-against-beautiful-women-at-work

“Their study found that the beautiful women were perceived to be less truthful, less trustworthy as leaders, and more deserving of termination than their more ordinary-looking female counterparts. Sheppard says, “Highly attractive women can be considered as dangerous”— what she calls “the femme fatale effect.”

This is fascinating because in general, the stereotype perception is that more attractive women do better in getting jobs and promotions. Yet the double standard also brands them as potentially the “evil seductress” with the intent of manipulating men. Smart and attractive might get you the job, but then you are at risk of being reviled and penalized for exactly those qualities. And it is worse if you are a woman executive.”

a link to the study:
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-019-01031-1

and another one on intersexual competition:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XUT2oRHznQMriCTdhCD4czCk2kWElO-o/view?pli=1

Yes! But can you imagine trying to complement a man in the same way? The thought of telling DH “all the other men here are giving you dirty looks. They must hate you because you’re so handsome” makes me laugh and cringe at the same time, it would be so ridiculous.

In my experience, the more attractive you are the better you get treated better by both men and women. I recently lost a lot of weight (over three stone) and the difference in how people react to me is quite staggering. I was never unattractive facially even when I was larger and always made an effort with my general appearance, but now that the weight has come off people are so NICE to me. Parents that previously ignored me on the school run now say “good morning” with big smiles and I get much more attentive service in shops, even ones that I have been going to for years. I expected an increase in male attention as a result of losing weight but it didn’t even occur to me that anyone else’s attitude could change. It’s really quite depressing as I think was I worth nothing before when I was overweight? I’ve always tried to be a good and kind person and I myself would never treat anyone differently regardless of how they look or what size they are. The moral of the story for me is that a lot of people are sadly very superficial and will treat you accordingly!