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AIBU?

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Original poster

Baby head butted me, OH livid

171 replies

Hol932 · 01/07/2023 20:18

I have a 3 month old baby and today he accidentally head butted My front tooth. He screamed in pain when he did it and his forehead went slightly red. It resolved in a few minutes and he’s fine in himself, currently feeding.

Basically it’s the second time it’s happen (him Head butting my tooth, although the first time it didn’t hurt him). He’s also hit the back of his head accidentally from flinging it back too hard on one occasion, again no damage. I’m a FTM, and my OH was absolutely livid at me, stormed off and said I need to stop hurting our son. He then told me to go buy some Calpol because it’s my fault that he’s in pain. He recovered pretty quickly and I’m well aware that I do need to be more careful, I’m not disputing anything he’s said. I just feel like such a sh*t mum right now with all these accidents. I am trying my best. I think I’m just posting for support as I’m really upset and my OH has made me feel 100x worse.

OP posts:
SBAM · 01/07/2023 20:22

Please ignore OH, babies flail themselves about unpredictably all the time, and it’s very rare that they cause themselves long term damage. I’m sure you were not doing anything that you even thought could lead to baby getting hurt.
You’re a good mum and you’re right in the middle of the bit I liked the least - if you’re not completely loving it please know that is keeps getting better as baby gets older and more communicative. Although OH needs to get over himself, there’s going to be a lot more accidents before your DS is a grownup.

pikkumyy77 · 01/07/2023 20:22

Tell your dh to take over all childcare duties. Then criticize him mercilessly. He will learn.

Sapphire387 · 01/07/2023 20:23

Your OH sounds bloody horrible.

Starlightstarbright2 · 01/07/2023 20:23

I am not sure what your Aibu question is but . I is an accident - your child will have many more .

it’s no one’s fault .

does your husband always treat you like this ?

LunaLula83 · 01/07/2023 20:23

It's one of the most irritating things babies do. Mine used to do the same just as I was launching a kiss oh her head. Oh the pain!
I feel for you re your husband. Mine hid my car keys as 'a teachable moment' after I distracted baby with the key. Still incenses me 7 years later. Arse! Don't worry I found plenty of ways since to make him feel shit. And you aren't a shit mum!

Temporaryname158 · 01/07/2023 20:23

Your OH half is being a drama queen at best and gaslighting you at worst

Gobimanchurian · 01/07/2023 20:24

Your DH needs to wind his neck in. My son had a head like a bowling ball (90+ percentile) and flung it about wildly. He was a twin and one of 3 and the only one this happened repeatedly with...

It's hard to avoid sometimes when you're holding them and they're flailing unpredictably at random. It's a non event (tell it to your nose, I know...)

FauxAunty · 01/07/2023 20:25

Your OH is a dickhead. I've got faint hairline fractures on my front teeth and a tooth slightly crooked from my babies/toddlers headbutting me accidentally over the years. It happens. Your baby is fine. How dare your OH speak to you like that. I hope you are OK.

Accountdetailss · 01/07/2023 20:25

Ignore him!
Your child will hurt themselves time and time again as they grow.

PrueRamsay · 01/07/2023 20:26

Your DH is a total knobhead.

My DS used to do that all the bloody time. I had DD first and she never did it.

Anyway, once, he threw himself backwards so hard, he slipped from my grasp and fell headfirst into a plastic bin. The bin was pretty small and it’s circumference was about the same as DS head, so for one dreadful second, he was stuck upside down in the bin with his little legs waving in the air like in a cartoon.

We still laugh about it.

truthhurts23 · 01/07/2023 20:26

Is your husband usually highly strung ? He needs to calm down because his negative reaction is not helping anybody
the baby is not hurt and everything is fine.
It’s definitely not your fault babys do that all the time and you will soon be dodging those headbutts like a ninja I promise you x

Theunamedcat · 01/07/2023 20:27

My son nearly broke my nose a couple of days before my wedding flailing the nurse laughed about the amount of times parents presented with this type of injury

Mamette · 01/07/2023 20:27

DS2 used to do this. It’s not your fault in any way and your DH is in the wrong blaming you. It’s horrible for you too, hope you’re ok.

billy1966 · 01/07/2023 20:28

My eldest nearly broke my nose and I cried so hard.

They do this.

I was careful to keep him in the arch of my arm afterwards.

I honestly cannot imagine any decent man blaming you.

Please take this as a huge red flag that your OH may be a really nasty, undermining prick.

His reaction is NOT normal.

Tell him you will contact the GP and health visitor and talk about it AND his reaction as you feel so upset.

Nasty twat.

Have you family and friends nearby?

If not, be wary.

Good men do NOT make new mums feel like shit.

Abusive arseholes definitely do.

DowntonCrabby · 01/07/2023 20:29

Temporaryname158 · 01/07/2023 20:23

Your OH half is being a drama queen at best and gaslighting you at worst

This

CherryLipgloss · 01/07/2023 20:29

I remember DS1 head butting me in the face - I got a bruise on my cheekbone - so painful! Your DH sounds like a dick. What could you have done to stop this from happening?

TomatoSandwiches · 01/07/2023 20:30

Your DH is a twat, if this hasn't happened to him yet he mustn't be holding him or looking after him alone often enough, so make sure you are out and about and leave him with baby as much as you can starting from now.

ANewAdventure · 01/07/2023 20:31

Babys do this. My second is a head butter, always has been. Still thinks it’s hilarious to try at 3. At about 6 months he gave DH a black eye, very embarrassing for him to explain at work!

Your husband sounds like either a panicky first time father, or a dick. Possibly both. Keep an eye on how he treats you and don’t allow any shit from him.

Wendysfriend · 01/07/2023 20:33

They are accidents, you're not trying to hurt your baby intentionally. Babies do stuff like this, when they're toddlers they'll be worse, your oh may need to relax a bit, otherwise he'll have a break down.

It's hard when a 1st child because everything is all new, I promise you'll look back at this and wonder why you even worried. You're not a shit mum, your oh is making you feel like a shit mum. Tell him this. He doesn't know everything, like any of us, it's all experience.

Jinglybangly · 01/07/2023 20:33

Your OH is a prick.

DS did this to me, broke my nose and gave me concussion. I passed DS to DH so I could clean up the blood. DH took care of both of us for 3 days until the concussion subsided.

You are not to blame, it happens all the time, OH should be looking after you not blaming you.

wildfirewonder · 01/07/2023 20:33

Your DH sounds very unsupportive. What is he like usually? Some babies do flail around very alarmingly at times. I am sure you are trying your best.

Scoobydoobywho · 01/07/2023 20:37

I'm sure all if not most babies are part lemming, the amount of times they just randomly fling themselves about. Don't listen to your o.h, he is being a dick.

FOJN · 01/07/2023 20:37

I don't have children so I'm clearly no expert, however I do have eyes and you only have to watch a small baby for a short time to know that this is something they do. It looks like it happens so suddenly that even with the greatest care in the world you couldn't avoid all head butts. I'm actually surprised there aren't more injuries, presumably mums learn some ninja skills to protect themselves and their babies.

Your husband is being horrible. I have no patience for unsupportive men, tell him to fuck off.

Again I'm not an expert but it sounds like you're doing a great job.

onthenightfeed · 01/07/2023 20:38

Wow! So shocked he reacted like that! Most of the Dads I know (including my DP) are of the "he'll be fine" blasé attitude when it comes to anything safety related, and make us Mums feel silly for being plagued by the mum guilt/worry. He sounds very highly strung and overdramatic! You are NOT a shit mum xxxx

Jl2014 · 01/07/2023 20:38

Your OH sounds really nasty. It’s common for this to happen with babies. Does he always behave like that?

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