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Original poster

Baby head butted me, OH livid

171 replies

Hol932 · 01/07/2023 20:18

I have a 3 month old baby and today he accidentally head butted My front tooth. He screamed in pain when he did it and his forehead went slightly red. It resolved in a few minutes and he’s fine in himself, currently feeding.

Basically it’s the second time it’s happen (him Head butting my tooth, although the first time it didn’t hurt him). He’s also hit the back of his head accidentally from flinging it back too hard on one occasion, again no damage. I’m a FTM, and my OH was absolutely livid at me, stormed off and said I need to stop hurting our son. He then told me to go buy some Calpol because it’s my fault that he’s in pain. He recovered pretty quickly and I’m well aware that I do need to be more careful, I’m not disputing anything he’s said. I just feel like such a sh*t mum right now with all these accidents. I am trying my best. I think I’m just posting for support as I’m really upset and my OH has made me feel 100x worse.

OP posts:
Mamai90 · 01/07/2023 22:46

This happens all the time with babies and toddlers, I've dodged a broken nose a couple of times! Your OH is a dickhead.

Tophy124 · 01/07/2023 22:54

Your partner is a moron and knows nothing about babies. Maybe if he was holding your son more he would know this. He does sound nasty. Accidents happen and unfortunately get a lot more common as the toddler years go on. My toddler once fell into a toilet!! His dad had left the bathroom door open. I didn’t shout at his Dad.

Lastnightschips · 01/07/2023 22:55

@PrueRamsay that made me laugh a lot!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 01/07/2023 22:56

He's either an actual idiot or he enjoys putting you down, eroding your confidence and sense of self. I suspect the fact he's more than happy to leave you with a child that he seemingly believes is 'in danger' means he's cruel and abusive.

Babies do this. There's no 'fault', because the baby is a baby and you didn't do anything!

Tophy124 · 01/07/2023 22:57

The calpol is also horrible for their liver if they don’t need it!

Isengard · 01/07/2023 22:59

Both of mine did this more than once! I also had to console our second after he headbutted me and split my lip, then for some reason bawled while I was trying to stop the bleeding and make sure he was okay!

Btw my partner's reaction was to be mildly amused and ask if we were both okay - yours is being a dick about it, it was an accident that happens to most parents, I'd wager.

Mamabird2022 · 01/07/2023 23:08

Omg my daughter is 9m and the amount of times she has head butted the floor when she’s trying to learn to crawl and looses her balance. At 5 weeks old she jerked back in my arms and banged her head on the arm of the sofa. These things happen

Avondale89 · 01/07/2023 23:11

Tell him to get fucked.

Take care of your PP mental health, it’s so hard at this stage and you don’t need your bastard of a partner to make you feel worse. He’s a sanctimonious wanker. I’ve never understood why some people treat their partners so badly. Usually in ways they’d never dream of treating their friends, family or work colleagues. He’s well out of line and should be looking to make you feel better about this, not worse.

Bluebells1970 · 01/07/2023 23:13

So the baby flails around, and instead of asking if you're OK, he curses you for hurting the baby.....?

That's not acceptable behaviour. At all.

Theoldgreygoose · 01/07/2023 23:13

Your OH is a prick. I don't even have children but I know they do this. Ignore him, or as a pp suggested, leave him to care for your baby for a few days. I wouldn't be taking this sort of nonsense from him - he would be getting a few choice words!

42wordsfordrizzle · 01/07/2023 23:15

I thought from the heading that he was criss with the baby - which would be ridiculous- but cross with you? For having a tooth for your baby to bash his head off? That's insane, and bullying.

He needs to step up and support you.

FeloniusGru · 01/07/2023 23:26

Your OH sounds like a twat.

God, when my son was about that age, my DH dropped him out of the bed and he hit the floor. Then 3 years later, we had a DD and he dropped her on the coffee table 🙄 I don’t think I was overly impressed on either of these occasions but I certainly didn’t blame DH or call him names!
(Kids are both fine by the way - they are tougher than they look!)

NellyTimes · 01/07/2023 23:30

I remember my exh saying a similar thing to me when I was trimming my wriggly baby's nails - he moved his hand as I was trimming them and I cut too far down which made it sore (but not bleed). Exh ( who never did anything for the kids, not even a nappy change) told me I was always being careless with him and had to stop hurting him and didn't look after him as much as I did my first baby. This was literally the only thing that had happened and I felt dreadful.

Anyway, I left exh eventually because he was a grade A cunt. As a PP said, a good man wouldn't make you feel bad about this.

loyganroyal · 01/07/2023 23:33

My babies used to arch their backs right in the doorframes and hit their heads on the way - how was this or your example the mothers fault? I’m sorry you’re going through this, your husband sounds at best very stressed and at worse, will leave that description to you.

babyproblems · 01/07/2023 23:35

The tone of your message frightens me - not the part about your baby (totally normal and he’ll fling himself at you hundreds more times to come) but your DH. That’s not a normal reaction or a reasonable one. He sounds controlling and you sound like he’s gaslighting you.. you seem to be entertaining his perspective aswell - do you realise it’s not a normal reaction?? I fear there’s a pattern of behaviour here with your DH imposing his (incorrect and irrational) mentality. Please step back and consider the situation here carefully- I fear your DH has some serious issues tbh. Good luck & congrats on your bubba! You’re not a shit mum but your DH is being a shit dad and an even worse partner… if you can call him a partner that is which Im not sure you can x

Notmineagain · 01/07/2023 23:35

Aww op, it's a mistake. Your oh is horrible for making you feel so bad. My baby was just a few weeks old and I was clipping her nails and mistakenly cut off a piece of skin. It bled for what felt like hours. I felt so awful, dh just reassured me that it was a mistake. Your baby will do all sort of thing and getting hurt and bumped is part of being a child. He needs to grow up and stop thinking he is perfect!

Original poster
Hol932 · 01/07/2023 23:39

Thanks everyone. I will let my husband know that he was being an unsupportive prick.
He is generally a nice guy but has had his moments since we’ve had the baby of being unsupportive and just generally mean.

Re supporting the neck, when I hold him up I do lightly support the back of his neck. I say lightly as he is developing control now and hates tummy time.

OP posts:
Begonne · 01/07/2023 23:41

Are you ok OP and do you need to get that tooth checked?

I sometimes found it hard to prioritise my needs in situations like this, and really relied on my dh a bit to give me a bit of a push out of mum-mode. I’m sorry your dh isn’t doing that for you.

Original poster
Hol932 · 01/07/2023 23:41

babyproblems · 01/07/2023 23:35

The tone of your message frightens me - not the part about your baby (totally normal and he’ll fling himself at you hundreds more times to come) but your DH. That’s not a normal reaction or a reasonable one. He sounds controlling and you sound like he’s gaslighting you.. you seem to be entertaining his perspective aswell - do you realise it’s not a normal reaction?? I fear there’s a pattern of behaviour here with your DH imposing his (incorrect and irrational) mentality. Please step back and consider the situation here carefully- I fear your DH has some serious issues tbh. Good luck & congrats on your bubba! You’re not a shit mum but your DH is being a shit dad and an even worse partner… if you can call him a partner that is which Im not sure you can x

Thank you. I just felt horribly guilty and I thought I deserved it at the time.

OP posts:
Daisymae55 · 01/07/2023 23:43

I’ve lost count of the amount of times dd has flung her head into my front teeth. Your OH needs to get a grip. I’d have absolutely lost my shit with DH if he told me to “stop hurting our child” over something like this. Sorry he’s reacted this way and been a dick about it. Lots of baby’s do this and I hate to say it but as they get older they will hurt themselves more and in weirder ways - he needs a reality check before then

also, you’re absolutely not a shit mum! You clearly care a lot about your son. You’ve got this and you’re amazing ignore OH! Big hugs x

Original poster
Hol932 · 01/07/2023 23:44

loyganroyal · 01/07/2023 23:33

My babies used to arch their backs right in the doorframes and hit their heads on the way - how was this or your example the mothers fault? I’m sorry you’re going through this, your husband sounds at best very stressed and at worse, will leave that description to you.

My OH would say in your scenario that it’d be your fault for walking close to the door frame.

Since having this baby we have been at each others throats and there has been talks of divorce, mainly on his end.
I just want him to not be mean to me.

OP posts:
Daisymae55 · 01/07/2023 23:48

Hol932 · 01/07/2023 23:39

Thanks everyone. I will let my husband know that he was being an unsupportive prick.
He is generally a nice guy but has had his moments since we’ve had the baby of being unsupportive and just generally mean.

Re supporting the neck, when I hold him up I do lightly support the back of his neck. I say lightly as he is developing control now and hates tummy time.

Just saw this as well and wanted to add, my husband also became an unsupportive prick just after dd was born, so much so I was debating divorce. I had to have a lot of serious discussions/arguments about his behaviour to get him to realise he was being a twat. It was his fear and not knowing what to do when things went wrong with dd manifesting itself in a very horrible way. After the talks and a bit of time he did go back to being a wonderfully supportive husband again, so I do hope that this happens for you too OP, but absolutely call him out and put him in his place every time he is a prick

Original poster
Hol932 · 01/07/2023 23:48

Tophy124 · 01/07/2023 22:54

Your partner is a moron and knows nothing about babies. Maybe if he was holding your son more he would know this. He does sound nasty. Accidents happen and unfortunately get a lot more common as the toddler years go on. My toddler once fell into a toilet!! His dad had left the bathroom door open. I didn’t shout at his Dad.

He gets easily frustrated and has a lack of patience so I prefer it if he doesn’t hold him for long as I don’t want my baby to feel like he’s doing something wrong when he cries.
I’m painting a great picture of my OH aren’t I lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hol932 · 01/07/2023 23:50

Thank you for all of those who have asked about me. My tooth is fine. I’m not sure how it happened but it actually was just one of my front tooth he hit. Must have been at an angle.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hol932 · 01/07/2023 23:53

xogossipgirlxo · 01/07/2023 21:32

What a tool. If you get a chance, leave him for a day or two with baby and let's see how wonderfully he's going to manage.

i plan to after I stop breastfeeding

OP posts: