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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby head butted me, OH livid

171 replies

Hol932 · 01/07/2023 20:18

I have a 3 month old baby and today he accidentally head butted My front tooth. He screamed in pain when he did it and his forehead went slightly red. It resolved in a few minutes and he’s fine in himself, currently feeding.

Basically it’s the second time it’s happen (him Head butting my tooth, although the first time it didn’t hurt him). He’s also hit the back of his head accidentally from flinging it back too hard on one occasion, again no damage. I’m a FTM, and my OH was absolutely livid at me, stormed off and said I need to stop hurting our son. He then told me to go buy some Calpol because it’s my fault that he’s in pain. He recovered pretty quickly and I’m well aware that I do need to be more careful, I’m not disputing anything he’s said. I just feel like such a sh*t mum right now with all these accidents. I am trying my best. I think I’m just posting for support as I’m really upset and my OH has made me feel 100x worse.

OP posts:
FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 01/07/2023 21:26

He’s being ridiculous.

AD1996 · 01/07/2023 21:26

OP my 18m old DS has head butted me three times today (accidentally) two on my teeth and one on the nose, I’ve cried every time and he’s whimpered maybe once! Your OH is being an absolute bellend and needs to grow up.

WaltzingWaters · 01/07/2023 21:26

Your DH is being a dick. Babies flail themselves around all the time. I’ve had several head butts from my baby and other babies I’ve nannied for. It happens so quickly you can’t always prevent it and they usually don’t get very hurt from it.

Presumably you’re the one spending the majority of your time with your baby at the moment? So therefore more accidents are just likely to happen with you.

You’re NOT a shit mum. Your DH DOES have a shit attitude though. Keep doing your best OP, and ignore his awful attitude.

DinaofCloud9 · 01/07/2023 21:26

I don't know if your "D"H is a total twat or just an idiot but he sounds an absolute tool. You are doing fine please ignore him.

thesurreymum · 01/07/2023 21:31

PrueRamsay · 01/07/2023 20:26

Your DH is a total knobhead.

My DS used to do that all the bloody time. I had DD first and she never did it.

Anyway, once, he threw himself backwards so hard, he slipped from my grasp and fell headfirst into a plastic bin. The bin was pretty small and it’s circumference was about the same as DS head, so for one dreadful second, he was stuck upside down in the bin with his little legs waving in the air like in a cartoon.

We still laugh about it.

That is hilarious and a real you've been framed moment !

almostoverthehill · 01/07/2023 21:32

PrueRamsay · 01/07/2023 21:23

We refer to it as “that time I threw you in the bin” 😂

Brilliant story 🤣🤣🤣 thank you for the much needed laugh!

xogossipgirlxo · 01/07/2023 21:32

What a tool. If you get a chance, leave him for a day or two with baby and let's see how wonderfully he's going to manage.

AuntMarch · 01/07/2023 21:34

Your husband is a dick.

Accidents do happen, and will again. If your child never gets injured on dads watch, it's only going to be because he doesn't do enough of the watching

It feels awful when it happens. You definitely don't need anyone else to make you feel guilty.

My sons dad and I split during pregnancy. We have both empathised and reassured one another. Even when I accidentally (of course) gave a black eye with the vacuum cleaner 🙈😭, my EX, was kind in how he responded to me.

So yeah, considering a husband is supposed to love and support you, yours is a dick. And likely to way over do the calpol based on that reaction!

PrinnyPree · 01/07/2023 21:34

Your partner is a nasty shitbag. OP I had never in my life had a nose bleed until I had a baby. Not only have I been headbutted twice in the nose bad enough to induce a full tshirt drenching bleed, we have both suffered the head butt to the teeth. Babies do this, they flail around like a 12 pound carp and when they're a bit older sometimes try to smash their heads towards yours, I can only assume, to engage in some overwhelming urge to cuddle into mummy's face as quickly as possible. 😅

Tell him I (a random mumsnetter) told him to fuck right off and give you some proper bloody support instead of a guilt trip the horrible twat. X

Talia99 · 01/07/2023 21:36

Your DH sounds like either a nutcase who needs to step up doing his share of the parenting (so he can get head butted by the baby too) or a nasty piece of work who is deliberately trying to make you think you are a bad mother, which you most definitely aren’t.

You didn’t hurt the baby, he hurt himself - you just happen to be the object he decided to bash himself off.

TitoMojito · 01/07/2023 21:36

Clearly the solution is to headbutt your husband.

Lantyslee · 01/07/2023 21:37

Your DH isn't spending enough time doing childcare because if he did he'd realise stuff like this happens and will continue to happen for years to come. He needs to get a grip or he'll never cope with the teen years.

EL8888 · 01/07/2023 21:40

I wish l was as perfect as him! He does know shit happens right?

Back in the real world l have 3 month old twins. One of them loves to throw her head forward, last weekend did that and bashed her head into my mouth. Painful and right into an area l have had lots of dental work. My OH checked everyone was ok and then we moved on

ReleasetheCrackHen · 01/07/2023 21:41

Going slightly against the grain, but with a 3 month old, the only way they’d head butt you or fling their head back is if you are not supporting their head properly. Babies that age can’t hold their heads up independently. You should be supporting their head/neck area continuously so that this will not happen.

So don’t think your OH is being unreasonable here. By failing to support your baby’s head you are causing these injuries.

AuntMarch · 01/07/2023 21:41

LuvSmallDogs · 01/07/2023 21:00

Lots of stupid little things like this will happen over the years.

Today I accidentally caught DS1's chickenpox blister with my fingernail while taking something out his hand. Previously, I have gesticulated while talking and (lightly) backhanded a child that was approaching from behind.

Kids get tripped over, bumped into, fingers trapped in doors, all sorts.

Your DH is either highly anxious, or trying to make you feel like a shit mum on purpose.

That happened to a woman I knew... the backhand.. her DC kept telling people she punched him in the throat 🤣😬

SayHi · 01/07/2023 21:43

I had to take my nose piercing out because my baby kept head butting me and it used to stab into my septum.

You do need to be careful if baby is flinging himself back as he can hurt himself and it’s worth having some calpol in at all times.

But it’s not your fault and babies/children will hurt themselves and there’s only so much you can do to stop it.

Does DH not do any sole childcare?

Its definitely worth giving him to DH in the evenings and weekends more so DH can see for himself.

And if DH thinks you are not a good enough parent then he’s going to have to be the SAHP and you can go back to work and moan at home for not doing it right.

ThePastKnocks · 01/07/2023 21:44

He's ridiculous. These things happen, my first did this all the time. My second loves headbutting furniture instead, what would your DH do in that situation? Strip all rooms of any kind of furniture?

LaMaG · 01/07/2023 21:45

Please please baby headbutt Daddy so badly he screams in pain.

HollyBookBlue · 01/07/2023 21:45

Your DH sounds like a peach.

Seriously don't worry, accidents happen!

I remember dropping the phone on my dd's head when she was a baby. Felt terrible about it and I spent the next half hour dropping the phone on my own head to see how much it hurt her 🤣

Twinsmummy1812 · 01/07/2023 21:46

PrueRamsay · 01/07/2023 20:26

Your DH is a total knobhead.

My DS used to do that all the bloody time. I had DD first and she never did it.

Anyway, once, he threw himself backwards so hard, he slipped from my grasp and fell headfirst into a plastic bin. The bin was pretty small and it’s circumference was about the same as DS head, so for one dreadful second, he was stuck upside down in the bin with his little legs waving in the air like in a cartoon.

We still laugh about it.

You’re my kind of people 😂

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/07/2023 21:46

ReleasetheCrackHen · 01/07/2023 21:41

Going slightly against the grain, but with a 3 month old, the only way they’d head butt you or fling their head back is if you are not supporting their head properly. Babies that age can’t hold their heads up independently. You should be supporting their head/neck area continuously so that this will not happen.

So don’t think your OH is being unreasonable here. By failing to support your baby’s head you are causing these injuries.

DD could absolutely hold her head up earlier than that age, she was late and very physically strong. 3 months is fairly normal.

Babis do fling their heads back. My friend got a black eye from hers. And although her exH was a dick, he didn't blame her. Yours is an arsehole OP. Maybe he should do all the baby care all weekend, since he doesn't trust you.

Stravaig · 01/07/2023 21:47

Wait until they get to the flinging themselves off the stairs trusting that you'll magically catch them even though you're not looking stage! That's a heart-stopping one. Luckily we seem to have incoming airborne toddler radar 🤣

Your DH sounds awful. Ignore him. Better yet, save yourself the time and trouble, and just get rid of him now.

ThePastKnocks · 01/07/2023 21:47

ReleasetheCrackHen · 01/07/2023 21:41

Going slightly against the grain, but with a 3 month old, the only way they’d head butt you or fling their head back is if you are not supporting their head properly. Babies that age can’t hold their heads up independently. You should be supporting their head/neck area continuously so that this will not happen.

So don’t think your OH is being unreasonable here. By failing to support your baby’s head you are causing these injuries.

Are you OP's DH? 🙄

HollyBookBlue · 01/07/2023 21:48

ReleasetheCrackHen · 01/07/2023 21:41

Going slightly against the grain, but with a 3 month old, the only way they’d head butt you or fling their head back is if you are not supporting their head properly. Babies that age can’t hold their heads up independently. You should be supporting their head/neck area continuously so that this will not happen.

So don’t think your OH is being unreasonable here. By failing to support your baby’s head you are causing these injuries.

Op please ignore this tosh.

yipeeyiyay · 01/07/2023 21:48

So your DH is concerned about your parenting and his response is to walk off and leave you and your dc? He's a dick OP. The person who washes the dishes will break the most plates. If you are going most of the parenting which I highly suspect is the case, of course more accidents will occur with you