Can I ask friend not to bring her partner round?

[Biytrer]

She's house/pet sitting for me. I mind her pets when she goes away too. I'm leaving her with a full fridge and some spending money for a takeaway etc.

I've a house with big garden and she's in a high rise flat so she does enjoy minding the house.

She has a partner now who I've only met once. She asked if her partner could stay with her the weekends (2)

I felt put on the spot but I really am not wanting this to happen. I barely know the person. We have lots of personal items around the house. I trust my friend completely but I don't know this other person. My husband really isn't happy with them being in our bed (there isn't anywhere else to go)

Is it really bad to ask the person doenst stay over?

The litter trays (3) have to be cleaned daily, 3 water bottles changed. Scatter feeding and enrichment treats left throughout.

Proper rat husbandry isn't easy.

So many people get small animals and think you can just leave them in a cage all day. It's not right.

@Biytrer
blow up air bed in the sitting room ? Id be honest honest and say i don’t mind
you in our bed but struggle with a couple .
Ive put myself in both shoes I’d hate a stranger in my bed especially having sex.

If I was sitting I’d want someone to stay over I usually spent time with at weekends .
Id also be fine with a blow up be done siting room the time boyfriend was there . Or staying at my place just for they few nights I had company .

Ffs there is some ridiculous comments on here. Myself and my partner run a professional dog walking and pet sitting business. I did a 2 week house sit last year during which my partner came over at the weekend we would have a takeaway and watch a film then he would go home. Owners gave permission for him to come round but it never crossed my mind to ask for him to stay the night. The girl isn't going to be in isolation for 2 weeks solid she can still see him but it is not unreasonable to ask he does not stay in your home. There's a reason professional companies cost more. Staff are insured and dbs checked. Tell her you don't mind him coming round but he is not to spend the night. She won't die of loneliness if he doesnt.

Whose fault is it then? 😂 literally op mental health issues or not this is grim and he needs to be told he stinks. His poor colleagues/friends/passers by 🤮

I would feel a bit odd but wouldn't prevent it. Unless she has form for choosing dodgy/thieving/drugging boyfriends. What ages are these people? Have you met him at all?

Could you get one of those inflatable airbeds and put it in the lounge or one of the kids' rooms or something and say "Hey, we got a new guest bed!" and have them use that? Outfit it nicely with sheets and duvet and pillows; they can lie on it and watch TV or whatever...

Yes but you run a professional business and this is the OPs mate so they are entirely different scenarios.

You have every right to say no to her partner

she has every right to say no to house/pet sitting

that simple really

Am I misunderstanding something? As far as I can tell, your friend does not NEED to stay over at your house at all. She is choosing to make it a mini-break to make use of your bigger home and garden and bringing all her pets along and boyfriend for weekends. It sounds like a lovely holiday for her and is not at sll what normally happens when you pet-sit for each other. Just tell her it’s a no and can she just come in every day or else DH would prefer you hire a professional service that comes in twice a day or whatever.

@Biytrer right just caught up .
Not a chance no way . I wouldn’t even allow him in my home . My eyes are nipping readinh about the situation .
She is your friend you have to be honest with her and tell her she doesn’t realise how bad he is . You respect her choices partner as you care about her but the answer is no In your home .

My mums just asked me if I want her old pull out sofa she was going to tip after discussing this with her.

So they can use that whilst they're here then I'll tip it myself afterwards.

It's actually really comfy, I've stayed on it a few times, just old, but it will do the job.

I'll just lock my bedroom door.

I was going to suggest that she bring her own bedding but your latest post sounds like a good solution

Did you miss the bit where the soap says she looks after friend's pets when friend goes away? It's a reciprocal thing. And friend likes staying over as the OP has a garden.

Think you should make your bedroom out of bounds if you'd rather not have even her sleeping in it, let alone her and boyfriend.
Invest in a camp/blow up or foldaway bed of some sort that she can use for her and boyfriend at weekends if you decide the sleeping in your bed situation is what bothers you most.

Good idea.

Although if she’s reading this then she may not want to pet sit anymore anyway lol.

Believe me MN is the last place she would ever be. She doesn't t
have any kids and barely uses the Internet, it's not her thing at all, definitely not chat forums.

@cinnamonfrenchtoast and the OP saves her friend an absolute fortune by looking after her 8 animals regularly so what's your point?

This is possibly the dumbest suggestion I've heard. The OP says the friend can just sleep in her own flat on the weekend nights and just come in to feed and check the pets. The only reason friend is staying over is because she wants to as she likes the space and garden. So obviously the solution is to ask friend to just stay at her own place over the weekend

Friend has 8 pets. Friend will already be travelling back and forth surely

In situations like this I think it's best to board the pet rather than encourage a sticky situation with the friend. If you say no to her partner staying and he stays anyway what's next for the friendship? If the friend takes offence to you saying No you have another issue. There's no win here.

But that doesn't benefit OP, does it? It's a reciprocal favour.

I wouldn't want a strange man staying in my house, in my bed, no. Especially not around my cats, who sleep on my bed.

You know even is you say No he will be there anyway? He may not sleep overnight but he will come and they will shag in your bed and/ or on your sofa. Get over it. At least she asked! )))

Your HB doesn't want this man bonking you bed . Understandable as he knows this other man will get some kind of buzz out of it . It's male chest beating and being territorial. He's right . The thought of another man's semen soaking in to the mattress . Just gross .

And leave two dogs by themselves overnight?

She’s taking them with her to OP’s – presumably to avoid having to do exactly that